As far as I'm concerned,Fallout 3 never happened. *spoilers*

Ba5

Ba5

First time out of the vault
I just finished this game. Holy shit. And I promptly registered and am a NMA supporter.

"Hello stranger who I just met 4 seconds ago, our town is build around a live nuclear bomb, would you mind disarming it?"
*fiddles with bomb, while 2436 bystanders, that probably know as well of the bomb being a live one, say nothing*
Click to expand...

"hi, I am here to deliver a letter to you from your sist- HOLY SHIT SOMEBODY ATE HER PARENTS"

*research, research, research*

"Boohoohoo, we're whiny emo vampire wannabes, you have to understand us before you can deliver your letter"

*2 minutes later*

"You are whiny emo vampires, please let me in"

"I ATE MY PARENTS :cry: "

"No, you're just a dumbass. Here's a letter from your sister to cheer you up."

*some time later*

"Oh, by the way, I delivered your letter"

"Oh thanks, I totally forgot about that!"

*Lucy West walks of, without any option to tell her of the faith of her parents*
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"Hi, can I come through the gate and continue to Vault 81?"
"No, fuck, you're a fucking fucker mungo! FUCK FUCK FUCK! I'M A KID AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME FROM SAYING FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK"
"Where the hell did you guys even come from? The surrounding area is filled with killer robots, and fucking HUGE rad scorpions. There's no adults around to have given birth to you. How did you get in here?"
"... FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCKER. FUCKING SAVE MY FUCKING FRIENDS FROM THOSE FUCKING SLAVER FUCKS."
*goes to slaver ville, kills all slavers, saves kids*
"I saved your stupid friends, let me in"
"Fuck you. Open the fucking gate!"
*empties combat shotgun in mayor's face*
"Hah! Fuck you, I'm fucking invincible! You see, it's okay for us to appear in almost pedophilic situations, but you can't kill us, because, unlike sex with minors, blowing kids' heads of is wrong. You fucking mungo!"
Click to expand...

*captured by the enemy*
"Welcome to my secret lair! I am the president. Please take your stuff from the locker in front of you and proceed to meet me."

*halfway to the president*

"I have changed my mind. GUARDS! Kill the Vault dweller!"

*I lay waste to every soldier there, and proceed to the president*

"Oh shit! Maybe I shouldn't have given you all your stuff back! But you can't kill me, I'm kerrrrrazy old and you know I'm right"
"Your reasoning is that you're right because you're right, and that makes you, and the guy that wrote your dialogue, a fucking moron."
"er.... DATA FAILURE! EVACUATE! I EXPLODE!"
Click to expand...

"I am guarding Project Purity! I am evil! You have only seen me for maybe a minute of game time before, but I'm the final boss!"
*enter VATS, kill general Autumn and his minions in 13.4 seconds*
Click to expand...

"Even though your suit of armor, combined with the tons of Rad X you carry should be enough to actually let you heal on radiation, and you have a companion who's impervious to radiation, that you could send in instead for the easy solution, I need you to get in the airlock, turn on project purity, and die."
"Fuck you bitch, you do it instead."
*Sigh* "Okay."
Click to expand...

Excellent writing Bethesda. I'm never buying any of your products ever again. And as far as I'm concerned, Fallout 3 never happened, and we're still waiting for the sequel. The one made by people that actually know what they're doing.
 
*starts a slow clap

Yeah those sum up the majority of those moments but you also missed, hey everybody I know were a secret organization that is remenants of the old federal government that just tried to kill all of you and our president died but here i am, speaking on the radio, and where would I be why of course right in DC wow, what an amazing place to hide secret government right where the old goddamn government was.
 
Just to correct you, the president doesn't change his mind.. Colonel Autumn disobeys his orders. But that wouldn't make a funny I guess.
 
I strongly disagree and felt Fallout 3 was awesome. However, your post was a hilarious good read and parody of Fallout 3. Kudos!
 
yeah, ii thought that the writing was very disjointed, illogical and well, a tad too superheroish for a fallout game.
 
The Storyline directors for Fallout 3 definitely need some lessons in proper story construction. Considering some of Bethesda's earlier games Im surprised a few of the errors made it through. Some just were weird but possible. Only 2 were blatantly impossible. Albeit just barely. Anyways, Love the game!
 
Amen, man.

I have to admit, I thought the NMA community was going overly fanboy with the FO3 backlash. Because I really didn't follow the FO3 development at all, I didn't know the searing disappointment I had waiting for me.

I hated the game so much that I was inspired to return it to BB and talk my way into a refund (I had a whole story prepared that's way more inventive than the F03 story). I have NEVER done that before.
 
Re: As far as I'm concerned,Fallout 3 never happened. *spoil

Ba5 said:
I just finished this game. Holy shit. And I promptly registered and am a NMA supporter.

"Hello stranger who I just met 4 seconds ago, our town is build around a live nuclear bomb, would you mind disarming it?"
*fiddles with bomb, while 2436 bystanders, that probably know as well of the bomb being a live one, say nothing*
Click to expand...
Hmmm, maybe it's because they want you to disarm the fucking thing too?
"hi, I am here to deliver a letter to you from your sist- HOLY SHIT SOMEBODY ATE HER PARENTS"

*research, research, research*

"Boohoohoo, we're whiny emo vampire wannabes, you have to understand us before you can deliver your letter"

*2 minutes later*

"You are whiny emo vampires, please let me in"

"I ATE MY PARENTS :cry: "

"No, you're just a dumbass. Here's a letter from your sister to cheer you up."

*some time later*

"Oh, by the way, I delivered your letter"

"Oh thanks, I totally forgot about that!"

*Lucy West walks of, without any option to tell her of the faith of her parents*
Click to expand...
Emos are the scourge of the Wastes. Only superior firepower may annihilate them.
"Hi, can I come through the gate and continue to Vault 81?"
"No, fuck, you're a fucking fucker mungo! FUCK FUCK FUCK! I'M A KID AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME FROM SAYING FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK"
"Where the hell did you guys even come from? The surrounding area is filled with killer robots, and fucking HUGE rad scorpions. There's no adults around to have given birth to you. How did you get in here?"
"... FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCKER. FUCKING SAVE MY FUCKING FRIENDS FROM THOSE FUCKING SLAVER FUCKS."
*goes to slaver ville, kills all slavers, saves kids*
"I saved your stupid friends, let me in"
"Fuck you. Open the fucking gate!"
*empties combat shotgun in mayor's face*
"Hah! Fuck you, I'm fucking invincible! You see, it's okay for us to appear in almost pedophilic situations, but you can't kill us, because, unlike sex with minors, blowing kids' heads of is wrong. You fucking mungo!"
Click to expand...
Nice job on failing your Speeh check and bitching about it. You could have skipped that whole quest.
*captured by the enemy*
"Welcome to my secret lair! I am the president. Please take your stuff from the locker in front of you and proceed to meet me."

*halfway to the president*

"I have changed my mind. GUARDS! Kill the Vault dweller!"

*I lay waste to every soldier there, and proceed to the president*

"Oh shit! Maybe I shouldn't have given you all your stuff back! But you can't kill me, I'm kerrrrrazy old and you know I'm right"
"Your reasoning is that you're right because you're right, and that makes you, and the guy that wrote your dialogue, a fucking moron."
"er.... DATA FAILURE! EVACUATE! I EXPLODE!"
Click to expand...
Already pointed out, but Autumn makes the troops attack you.
"I am guarding Project Purity! I am evil! You have only seen me for maybe a minute of game time before, but I'm the final boss!"
*enter VATS, kill general Autumn and his minions in 13.4 seconds*
Click to expand...
Once again, your Speech skills are amazing. Do you have a 100%?
"Even though your suit of armor, combined with the tons of Rad X you carry should be enough to actually let you heal on radiation, and you have a companion who's impervious to radiation, that you could send in instead for the easy solution, I need you to get in the airlock, turn on project purity, and die."
"Fuck you bitch, you do it instead."
*Sigh* "Okay."
Click to expand...
Project Purity is filled with Holy Fucking Shit I Got Turned Into A Pile Of Goo Radiation, the kind that only a bomb or Project Purity can create.

Excellent writing Bethesda. I'm never buying any of your products ever again. And as far as I'm concerned, Fallout 3 never happened, and we're still waiting for the sequel. The one made by people that actually know what they're doing.
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My additions are in italics. Also, did you get the Collector's Edition? I want your bobblehead and lunchbox. Keep your nerd tears off them and I'll pay you 20 dollars each.
 
The main quest is that fucking stupid but lay off the sidequests they're at least as good as the ones in fallout 1

edit: Better, now that I look back on the sidequests in that game and remember how broken they all are compared to fallout 2
 
Re: As far as I'm concerned,Fallout 3 never happened. *spoil

Gentlemen said:
My additions are in italics. Also, did you get the Collector's Edition? I want your bobblehead and lunchbox. Keep your nerd tears off them and I'll pay you 20 dollars each.
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Them's fighting words.
I turned my charisma all the way down, and put it in the parts Bethesda wanted me to care about, ie fighting skills. The only penalty I got out of this was that my speech checks were impossibly low all the time (except when I got Eden to kill itself in the most amazing dialogue ever). There wasn't a general dislike for my character or anything, which I was led to believe from the description. The game played exactly as if my charisma was at 24252 (the slider is broken in my version).

I also chose the "I'm a 13 year old that shouldn't be playing this but does anyway because I'm a fucking rebel and Bethesda marketed the game to me anyway" perk, which allows me to carry lots of different guns, and shoot my way out of everything. When I choose this perk in FO1 and FO2, I still got a very decent story out of it.

Edit: By the way, I'll forgive all the game's faults as soon as a mod is released that allows me to butcher every last one of Little Lamplight's residents.
 
Perfect!

Here are some more:

"Hey there, good to see you!"

"Nice to see you too, Ben Canning, didn't I save you from a horrible death from thirst and privation?"

"Hey there, it's really good to see you!"

"Yeah, you know it's good you can see anything at all, because you know, you were close to dying last I saw you. You also implied you'd help me out, or you know, reward me... hint, hint..."

"Hey there, I'm Ben Canning, good to meet you!"

*click**CLACK*

BA-DOOOOM!
Click to expand...


"Hey ghoul, wtf happened to all the other people in here?"

"Oh the smoothskins? I'll skip to the chase and just tell you that we probably killed them all, and maybe you'll find their bodies in the basement. Maybe."

"What?!? You hypocritical *&^%ers... hold on a sec while I check out your flimsy attempt at concealment ... Jesus, you did! You killed them all, wtf why?"

"Uh... our leader told us to? Dunno, really, talk to him,"

A short elevator ride later...

"Hey ghoul leader, what the shiat is this? Bodies in the basement? You killed them all? Even the nice people who said they'd love to have you around, give you a shot as neighbors?"

"Yeah kid. So? No biggie, right, it's Chinatown after all, Jake."

Dialogue ends with no "Die! you murdering psychopath!" option, so you have to speak this next part at the screen:

"*&^% You! Die you murdering psychopath!"

**YOU LOSE KARMA**

"Wait...what?!?"
Click to expand...
 
Re: As far as I'm concerned,Fallout 3 never happened. *spoil

Ba5 said:
Gentlemen said:
My additions are in italics. Also, did you get the Collector's Edition? I want your bobblehead and lunchbox. Keep your nerd tears off them and I'll pay you 20 dollars each.
Click to expand...
Them's fighting words.
I turned my charisma all the way down, and put it in the parts Bethesda wanted me to care about, ie fighting skills. The only penalty I got out of this was that my speech checks were impossibly low all the time (except when I got Eden to kill itself in the most amazing dialogue ever). There wasn't a general dislike for my character or anything, which I was led to believe from the description. The game played exactly as if my charisma was at 24252 (the slider is broken in my version).

I also chose the "I'm a 13 year old that shouldn't be playing this but does anyway because I'm a fucking rebel and Bethesda marketed the game to me anyway" perk, which allows me to carry lots of different guns, and shoot my way out of everything. When I choose this perk in FO1 and FO2, I still got a very decent story out of it.

Edit: By the way, I'll forgive all the game's faults as soon as a mod is released that allows me to butcher every last one of Little Lamplight's residents.
Click to expand...
Child at Heart helps with those annoying little brats. A LOT. And your slider must be indeed broken. My Heavy Weapons Guy character (My main character is a nerd who managed to weasel his way out of killing anything in the game by using Speech, Science!, and Lockpick) never succeeds at his Speech checks. Maybe because my Speech is at 19 or so? Goes to show that Speech is still the most uber skill there is. Also, did you try killing Eden with his self-destruct code? Autumn had a holotape with that code on it.
 
Yeah, I somehow passed that check. I first gave him the "where will it end boohoohoo?" bit, and after that, I told him his arguments made no sense, as if I never passed the previous check. Eh?

Oh, and I'm changing my first anecdote.

"Welcome mysterious stranger, this town is build around a live nuke!"
"We just talked for 14 seconds, mind if I go and fiddle with the bomb?"
"You are not a stranger, we are talking for 20 seconds already! The bomb's all yours not-so-strange stranger!"
Click to expand...
 
to be fair, the scene with president eden was a literary reference to a scene in anna karenina where count alexei made her realize that her super mutants were sterile and therefore her plan to have them repopulate the world was hopeless. but I'm sure you all knew that :roll:
 
Ba5 said:
Yeah, I somehow passed that check. I first gave him the "where will it end boohoohoo?" bit, and after that, I told him his arguments made no sense, as if I never passed the previous check. Eh?

Oh, and I'm changing my first anecdote.

"Welcome mysterious stranger, this town is build around a live nuke!"
"We just talked for 14 seconds, mind if I go and fiddle with the bomb?"
"You are not a stranger, we are talking for 20 seconds already! The bomb's all yours not-so-strange stranger!"
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

Your quote needs more "middle-aged guy" stuff.
 
oihrebwe said:
to be fair, the scene with president eden was a literary reference to a scene in anna karenina where count alexei made her realize that her super mutants were sterile and therefore her plan to have them repopulate the world was hopeless. but I'm sure you all knew that :roll:
Click to expand...

Wait, what? Eden's modified FEV would have killed mutants, Super Mutants, and Ghouls. It was designed to purify both the water and the human genome.
 
Sure it's not going to work. Renaming might have worked long ago before any copy was shipped. It's more of a "let's see how many people agree" and PERHAPS FO4 will be more Fallout.
 
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