BAN DIABLO 3: The most SATANIC, SEX-POSITIVE game EVER!

brfritos

Humma Kavulaaaaaaa
This is the most fuck up shit I read in a long time! :lol: :drummer:

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Brethren and Sistren,

Recently, my little sister called me up and asked my advice on a problem she's been having. I know she's always looked up to me, considered me to be an excellent role-model and values my advice, so I was happy to provide it. Anyways, apparently her boyfriend has been spending too much time playing something she said he called a "Diablo-clone". I told her she should smash the game cartridge and tell her boyfriend that they both need to accept Jesus and start living like True Christians™. She then sighed and got off the phone, presumably to take my advice. Anyways, I decided to research this video game further, and I can't begin to tell you how horrible it actually was!

Apparently Blizzard, makers of such filthy games like World of Warcraft, Starcraft II and Oblivion, have a horrible series of games glorifying Satan called "Diablo". Apparently there are two sequels, or "clones" as gamers call them, of this game, the most recent having been released in 2009. How this horrifying game managed to get released without widespread calls for it's banning is beyond me!

Here is just a short list of the horrible things this game includes...

  • Upon starting the game up, the player is asked to "role-play" as one of three characters: the Destroyer, a tatooed meathead obviously inspired by a member of the BDSM-sodomite community known as a "power top bear"; the Vanquisher, a scantily-clad harlot who gains "levels" by soliciting people for s*x and fornicating with them; and, worst of all, the Scientist, a demon-summoning wizard who builds sex-robots and espouses Darwinian propaganda!

    After choosing to role-play as one of these three characters, the player is then required to choose an "animal partner", which in the context of this game is probably either used as a sacrificial offering to demons or for the player to partake in simulated bestiality with.
    All of the characters are required to use witchcraft and sorcery by purchasing "spells" from some sinister cabal. The player is also NOT allowed to use prayer or faith in the Lord to overcome obstacles!

    The player is constantly encouraged to murder people, steal their possessions, and then sell them or pay a wizard to "enchant" them to become stronger, implying that a life of thievery, murder and Satanism is a valid career option.

    The game is infinitely long! It never ends! It's a calculated attempt by Blizzard into forcing people into Diablo-addiction and a life-time of servitude to Satan!

    The game includes detailed instructions for your character to consult with spirits and summon skeletons. This, of course, is specifically forbidden by Deuteronomy 18:10-12!

    The main plot of the game is to sabotage a mine. What kind of person would want to sabotage a capitalist operation like that? A free-thinking anarchist!

Finally, the game encourages repetitive mouse-clicking and movement, which can lead young women into a repetitive stimulation of her lady-bits. Blizzards Entertainment wants to train young ladies to m*sturbate!
As Christians, we know that whatever a person does, it should be done for the glory of God.

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Does playing a game which promotes bestiality, Satan-worship, prostitution and science sound like something that can possibly be used to glorify God? Of course not!! That's why we True Christians™ need to unite and make sure that Diablo 3 gets BANNED and these game programmers can't make any more children into servants of Satan!

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=62815

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I mean, why, WHY I can't have such fertile imagination?! :hide:

Oh well, back to the booze...
 
brfritos said:
Finally, the game encourages repetitive mouse-clicking and movement, which can lead young women into a repetitive stimulation of her lady-bits. Blizzards Entertainment wants to train young ladies to m*sturbate!
As Christians, we know that whatever a person does, it should be done for the glory of God.

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Hmm.

Lord, by your glory I am gonna fap to hardcore porn, let your love fill me as I do it, the same way you did Jesus, for ever and ever, amen.

We should do that.
 
You do realize most of these websites and the posters on there just mock those baptist hardliners "4 the lulz" - just like the quoted forum?
 
Surf Solar said:
You do realize most of these websites and the posters on there just mock those baptist hardliners "4 the lulz" - just like the quoted forum?


Yes and that is probably the case, but it is still pretty funny.
 
.Pixote. said:
Probably a fake, but good regardless. And yes Jesus plays WOW in his spare time.

Jesus can play WOW in Heaven for real. It's just like Imaginationland.
 
Is this site for real? Or just a satire on religious loonies?
I mean I just had a peak on there and there was some guy saying how 'beating your children' was a good way of instilling the lord in them. I mean seriously, what the heck?
 
BFox17 said:
Is this site for real? Or just a satire on religious loonies?
I mean I just had a peak on there and there was some guy saying how 'beating your children' was a good way of instilling the lord in them. I mean seriously, what the heck?

It's a satire, but instilling lord by beating children is very much real and often practiced by various religious institutions.
 
atom, thats because of the verse:

spare the rod, spoil the child


thats usually taken as a physical rod, but in reality the rod is the bible. so people who use that verse to justify beating their children fail at properly reading/interpreting the bible.

beating your child when they misbehave does not require any biblical justification. if they misbehave, reasonable physical punishment is justified. even though child psychologists usually try to prove it doesnt work, all their work relating to it that i have seen just ends up justifying it as viable and effective.
 
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