Wow, great discussion.
I agree RPG is a misnomer. Roleplaying started as a social activity, but for the most part, CRPGs are single player activities. CRPGs, therefore, are inaccurate copies of the original experience of roleplaying (DnD or otherwise). This is similar to "comic book" movies which rarely have anything to do with comic books than the film depiction of the comic medium's characters. There are no cells, there is no text--although, some directors try to represent those stylistically through film.
Roleplaying has come to mean a game with explicit stats and skill checks, but with games like Diablo falling into that category, we (read: connoisseurs) need further criteria for an RPG to kick out the duds. I think the next evolution in discernment was pointing to choice. Our character's choices had to affect the world.
But even this is a poor criterion. My civilization is represented by my cities and my leader in Civ4 and I'm constantly making decisions that affect the world--AND the stats are explicit! All that is missing are separate cut scenes, even though ostensibly, there are different endings.
I point to what Scott McCloud said about the difference between comics and graphic novels: there is no difference--and it's a foolish term. Comics is the medium. "Graphic novel" is the word some use for good (read: "legitimate") comics.
There are computer games. Some are bad, some are good. Some mimic old PnP systems well, some don't. Now, suddenly, we can't make the excuse that, well, there was nothing good on the RPG front this year, so at least this keeps the genre alive. Rate by criteria--make those criteria explicit and use evidence. I'd love to see a reviewer in a big name magazine do that for once!
And on the front of writing, FO3 fails.
My non-spoiler example is Megaton. WHY does the quest to blow up or save the town HAVE to come from an NPC? It's embarrassingly like WoW. It's like the exposition we hear from bad tv shows when characters are fleeing bad guys: "Run! Keep running! We're almost there! I think we lost them!"
Let the bomb speak for itself.
It's there. Tinker with it and you can find out it could be activated or deactivated. Later, you find a BOSS raider who would love to take over the town. You tell him you could blow it up, but he can't live with the blood on his hands, so he tells the sheriff what you're up to. Oops on you! Should have talked to his 2nd in command, the bloodthirsty mongrel, he'll pay you to do it and keep it under wraps.
This is not rocket science. Quests do not have to come from NPCs only. Cf. Fallout 2. [spoiler:d59e3128a4]You can accidentally or intentionally blow up Gecko's power plant. I did it accidentally when I misread the clipboard my first play through.[/spoiler:d59e3128a4] Additionally, no one tells you what to do with Anna's bones.
I think most quest-writing is bogged down because it has to emerge from something or someone explicit. Remove that crutch and it becomes easier in my mind to write more unique and better "quests."