How do you deal with all this?

I've actually been cooking a shitload during this whole thing, my bank account is pretty happy about it.

I've also been cooking a lot. Mostly different italian dishes, but I also discovered the wonders of soup when it's home made with fresh ingredients and not from a can. Currently my culinary white whale is bao buns, my gf's mom made them for me and they were fucking amazing but I have been criminally unsuccessful at making them so far. I think maybe there's some mystic secret to the recipe I'm too white to unlock. Still, I persist.

What you been cooking?
 
I've also been doing a lot of italian stuff thanks to my gf. Experimenting with perfecting pizza dough, but I think it'll require one of those pizza stones to really get there.
 
I've also been doing a lot of italian stuff thanks to my gf. Experimenting with perfecting pizza dough, but I think it'll require one of those pizza stones to really get there.

Yeah I've never made a pizza properly. As in, with dough. I don't really count getting one of those pre-baked bases, because it's like one step off of basically just adding toppings. What's your go to on the toppings, if any.
 
Currently my culinary white whale is bao buns

Dude, same

I think maybe there's some mystic secret to the recipe I'm too white to unlock. Still, I persist.

My understanding is that the secret ingredient is being an Asian woman with grandkids

but I think it'll require one of those pizza stones to really get there.

Yeah you pretty much have to have commercial kitchen equipment if you want to make a truly authentic pizza from scratch, but I hear the stones really help.
 
Yeah I've never made a pizza properly. As in, with dough. I don't really count getting one of those pre-baked bases, because it's like one step off of basically just adding toppings. What's your go to on the toppings, if any.
Dough is actually quite easy. Just takes longer, two hours to let it rise. But it's definitely a LOT better than pre-made dough. Currently experimenting with adding a bit of rye flour and various spices into it.
For toppings I like the classics. Gorgonzola and a nice salami, or a nice prosciutto crudo. Prosciutto crudo is best when added to it after baking, because when you bake it it gets too salty. A local pizzeria (which is run by proper Neapolitans, and better than most pizzerias in the north of Italy according to my gf) they have a very nice variant "Don Corleone" with egg, onions, salsiccia piccante, and olives. Good shit. I also like the italian sausage with fennel in it.

For two decently sized pizzas: About 350-400g of flour, proper italian recipes call for a mixture of different flours, but I don't particularly care. Add some yeast (I use dry yeast that comes in little 7g baggies, works fine. Proper would be ale yeast), a bit of salt, mix it through, then add luke-warm water bit by bit until the dough has a good consistency, not too wet. Add some olive oil. The dough should be not sticky and quite flexible. Let it rise for two hours in a somewhat warm place. Try adding some sage, basil, thyme, oregano, rosemary, whatever you like to the dough. For the tomato sauce I just use basic passata, add a splash of olive oil, salt, pepper, and a shitload of basil, sage, and rosemary to it. It's pretty basic, and the recipes usually don't vary much. Really easy to do.
 
My understanding is that the secret ingredient is being an Asian woman with grandkids

Well my GF isn't a grandma and she can manage it (although she doesn't like making them because the effort to time eaten ration is too small). I think the secret key might just be being asian. But then I think the white racial ability is appropriation/assimilation so I'm confident I will crack it in the end, even if it ends up being bastardized.

If that fails I'll make a cornish pasty, and I'll call it a British Bao Bun. Close enough.

For toppings I like the classics. Gorgonzola and a nice salami, or a nice prosciutto crudo. Prosciutto crudo is best when added to it after baking, because when you bake it it gets too salty. A local pizzeria (which is run by proper Neapolitans, and better than most pizzerias in the north of Italy according to my gf) they have a very nice variant "Don Corleone" with egg, onions, salsiccia piccante, and olives. Good shit. I also like the italian sausage with fennel in it.

All sounds pretty wizard to me. I'm a toppings heathen (or "topping chaotic neutral" in the alignment chart) in that I like all sorts of stuff like anchovies or/and mushrooms that probably shouldn't be allowed on pizza.
 
Well my GF isn't a grandma and she can manage it (although she doesn't like making them because the effort to time eaten ration is too small). I think the secret key might just be being asian. But then I think the white racial ability is appropriation/assimilation so I'm confident I will crack it in the end, even if it ends up being bastardized.

If that fails I'll make a cornish pasty, and I'll call it a British Bao Bun. Close enough.



All sounds pretty wizard to me. I'm a toppings heathen (or "topping chaotic neutral" in the alignment chart) in that I like all sorts of stuff like anchovies or/and mushrooms that probably shouldn't be allowed on pizza.
Eh, mushrooms and anchovies are common. I don't like them myself, but they're totally fine. Really, the only really divisive topping is pineapple.
 
Eh, mushrooms and anchovies are common. I don't like them myself, but they're totally fine. Really, the only really divisive topping is pineapple.

I feel like it depends on the pizza type. A proper italian pizza, no. A deep dish pizza? No. A new york/domino's/pizza hut styled pizza? Sure.
 
I feel like it depends on the pizza type. A proper italian pizza, no. A deep dish pizza? No. A new york/domino's/pizza hut styled pizza? Sure.
Pizza Funghi and Speciale are some of the most common variants among Italians. Mushrooms are totally fine.
 
I think the secret key might just be being asian.

Yeah it makes sense that the people who grew up eating/making it are pretty good at it, especially since having the muscle-memory to do the finger work can make the difference between your bun being perfect and falling apart.

But then I think the white racial ability is appropriation/assimilation

This is true unless you are a subrace such as Italian or Russian at which point you get your own unique racial abilities.
 
I’m Greek, my racial ability is ruling the world then losing it all, then still having the last laugh when most dynasties around Europe and the Middle East come from Greek stock.

I’m also American which makes my racial ability heart disease.
 
I’m Greek, my racial ability is ruling the world then losing it all

Yeah once Alexander the Great died it was pretty much toast for you guys

I'm mainly Scottish and French ethnically, I don't know what a Scottish racial trait would be but the French would probably get something like proficiency in Racism.

Italians get to roll with advantage during any attempt to sexually harass women.
 
Ah. Well yeah, that's a no-go because pineapple in general is vile.

I've done some good porkchop marinades that used a little bit of pineapple but yeah putting it on a pizza is pretty gross. It's a popular topping in Australia, the world's biggest Ohio, which is pretty telling.
 
I knew this thread was going to go even more out of control once the subject of pizza came up. You do know there are people from New Jersey, New York, and Philly that post here right? (Chicago can just fuck off.)

[REDACTED] you both. Pineapple is amazing. Hawaiian pizza is amazing, and you're a [DATA EXPUNGED] if you think salami on pizza is a good choice. I can't even imagine what a German pizza would look or taste like.

Kidding aside, if there is a way to import pizza dough from the tri-state area, do it.
 
Back
Top