mathematical jokes

Ratty Sr.

Ratty Sr.

Ratty, except old
Moderator
Orderite
ok, check this out:

two functions were walking down the street when they ran into a derivative. "ok, kids", said the derivative, "gimme all your money or i'll derive you!" the first function goes "oh shit, please dont derive me, here, take, this is all i got on me!" the derivative takes the money and turns to the other function. and the function says "screw you, i aint givin you a dime!" "dont mess with me, gimme your money or ill derive you!", says the derivative. the function goes "i dont care, derive me!" so the derivative derives the function, and guess what? the function was e^x! :lol:

not funny? ok, how about this:

(sinx^2)/n = 36

can you explain this result? if you can, you deserve an A, but not in maths... :wink:
 
Ratty said:
ok, check this out:

two functions were walking down the street when they ran into a derivative. "ok, kids", said the derivative, "gimme all your money or i'll derive you!" the first function goes "oh shit, please dont derive me, here, take, this is all i got on me!" the derivative takes the money and turns to the other function. and the function says "screw you, i aint givin you a dime!" "dont mess with me, gimme your money or ill derive you!", says the derivative. the function goes "i dont care, derive me!" so the derivative derives the function, and guess what? the function was e^x! :lol:
Click to expand...

*chuckles*

not funny? ok, how about this:

(sinx^2)/n = 36

can you explain this result? if you can, you deserve an A, but not in maths... :wink:
Click to expand...

I do not geddit.
 
ok, this (or something like this) really happened. a US student was solving that extremely challenging and difficult equation, and he got 36 as result. here's how. sinx / n = six (can you guess where n disappeared? :lol: ); six ^ 2 = 36 !
i hope for the sake of american education system that this guy isn't a math student... :P
 
Ugh! And I've heard that one before too! Oh well...

Hey, we may have some idiots around here in North America, but we're still bigger and we still have better engineering schools! :twisted:
 
HYE I'VE GOT A MATH JOKE!!?! :DDDD


A two, a three, and a seven walk into a bar and the bartender say's 'WHAT'LL IT BE HOT STUFF!?" and the three says "Pi"


LOLOOLOLOL GET IT?!?!
 
Ozrat said:
Hey, we may have some idiots around here in North America
Click to expand...
that's nothing, there are plenty of idiots in Croatia too. maybe we should get them all into Jerry Springer show together with all american idiots and see who's dumber :P

Ozrat said:
but we're still bigger and we still have better engineering schools!
Click to expand...
can't argue with that. we have only one good engineering school (and i'm one of the unlucky few who attend it) and it's ackknowledged in USA as well, so when i graduate, i'll probably move to your country. who knows, maybe we'll be working together someday! :wink:

@axelgeese
LMAO, that's a good one! :lol:
 
i heard this one recently:
a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer were asked about value of number PI. the mathematician said: "PI is irrational number which equals circle perimeter divided by diameter." the physicist added: "PI is actually 3.14159 +/- 0.00001 standard deviation." and the engineer said: "PI? oh, it's something around 3."

:D
 
Whoever made the Engineering Spirit song for my school wrote said:
Who are you?
We're engineers!
What do you do?
We drink beer!
What kind of beer?
Cold, free beer!
How much beer?
All of it!
Why?
To get drunk!
Why?
To get disorientated!
Why?
We don't know!
Why?
We're engineers!
Click to expand...
So what do you think?
I'll have to post some more stuff from that source when I have more time.
 
Ozrat said:
So what do you think?
I'll have to post some more stuff from that source when I have more time.
Click to expand...

hmm here I'll fix it.

Who are you?
YOUR POPPA!!
What do you do?
We give hugs!
where are the flowers?!
we're engineers!
cold free beer lol!
All of it!
Why?
we're engineers!
Beer?
Mama mi, I'ma mario!
Why?
all of it :DDDDD
I'm scared now.
We're engineers!


there, now it's fixed.
 
A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist are sitting outside a café watching the house across the street. They see one person enter the house, then two people walk out.
Physicist: "The measurements are inexact."
Biologist: "They have reproduced."
Mathematician: "If exactly one person enters the house now, it will be empty again."


Oh, and one more:

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are sleeping in a hotel, and there's a fire in the engineer's room. The engineer smells smoke, wakes up, and quickly runs to the washbasin. He gets a bucket full of water, and uses it to extinguish the fire.

Later that night, the physicist's room is on fire. The scientist wakes up and upon seeing the flames, he pulls out a pen and a notebook. He computes complicated equations, and finally determines the exact volume of water needed to put out the fire. He then extinguishes the fire and goes back to sleep.

Finally, there's fire in the mathematician's room. He smells smoke, wakes up, and goes to the washbasin. He turns the tap and sees water flowing out. Proudly, he says: "A solution exists!" And goes back to bed.
 
The functions are sitting in a bar, chatting (how fast they go to zero at infinity etc.). Suddenly, one cries "Beware! Derivation is coming!" All immediately hide themselves under the tables, only the exponential sits calmly on the chair.
The derivation comes in, sees a function and says "Hey, you don't fear me?"
"No, I'am e to x", says the exponential self-confidently.
"Well" replies the derivation "but who says I differentiate along x?"

ROTFL, aint this great? :P
 
You people need a life.

Go in the archived board, under the heder Tarzan, jane and the family. We had a joke discussion back then.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top