Oh, spam. How I hate it. I received the following e-mail today:
I immediately recognized it as 100% spam and deleted it. Got no time for those scam fuckers.
Paris Hilton
to Miguel Declercq
Hello you sex-crazed stud!
I can imagine that you are totally flabbergasted by this e-mail,
but check my IP, you dirty lover-boy you, and you'll find out it's genuine and totally legitimate.
I read all of your books (my dad had them translated by a bunch of Iraqi bastards) and after reading your magnificent sonnets, my cunt is all wet and juicy and ready to receive your love.
The reason why I'm sending you this e-mail is very simple: I'm sick and tired of those fucked-up Hollywood arseholes with no brains and even less dick, and I desperately want to find my soulmate elsewhere. I know it sounds strange but I really think that you're the one. The one for me.
So yes: I decided to send you this e-mail. My nipples get hard and start to throb like miniature vibrators when I fantasize about your Aryan purity and your big Flemish cock. You must have such well-developed testicles to produce such great pieces of literature - I promise you I'll teabag you the very minute we meet.
Please, Miguel: do not ignore my letter. At this moment, my chihuahua is doing its utmost best to satisfy my clitoral hunger, but I need the Spartan tongue and the fishmonger lips of a Flemish stud like you to actually be satisfied. Read my e-mail as attentively as you can. I beg you. I am as serious as I can possibly be.
I am fed up with being a rich, untalented American slut, and I feel jealous and full of envy when I see normal couples hanging out or going to the movies.
I can't find true love in America, but I'm sure I'll find it in Belgium. I'm your soulmate and you know it. I love it when a man sniffs my stinky soles and sucks my sweaty toes, and you are the best at that, the interweb doesn't lie about sick stuff like that.
If you agree to help me get satisfied in a oral, vaginal and anal way, then please write me at XXXXXXXX.XXXXXX@XX.XXX
I am waiting eagerly for your reply,
Paris hilton
I immediately recognized it as 100% spam and deleted it. Got no time for those scam fuckers.