Tips on Dealing with Teens?

[Ragemage]

Right, to give some backstory before I ask the question the title's about: Ever since little, I've been what you may call a "bleeding heart". Almost every time I see some sort of charity drive like March of Dimes, St. Jude's, or The Salvation Army, I usually drop a few quarters or dollars in the collection bucket/plate. I like helping people. When I was a child up until I was about 15, I wanted to be a preacher for a church. It didn't matter what church denomination necessarily, but I saw how much missionary groups, churches, and preachers do for the poor around here and I thought leading a church would be a great way to help the downtrodden. Then I met my then girlfriend (and now fiance), and my whole life changed. I realized after 2 years of dating her I was going to be with this girl the rest of my life. Nearly 7 years later and I still am. I knew preachers, missionary or not, have to move around frequently to accomodate new churches or to go help where there are poorer people in the world. Since me and my girl plan on having kids, I didn't want them nor my fiance to have to move around a lot, because I know that can be detrimental to a child's upbringing. Besides that, the economy's starting to plummet, and preachers don't really make enough nowadays to support a family. So instead I decided to go with my second calling, being a teacher. I know teachers still have to move around sometimes depending on school situations, but they don't have to move nearly as much as preachers do.

So now that the backstory is out of the way, I'm currently in college working towards becoming an English teacher. The problem is, I'm an introverted sort of person. I'm not very good with people because any close friend I became attached to in my youth ended up being abusive, a drug addict, or they used me for my money and generosity. Basically the only consistent people who've always been in my life are my fiance and my parents. That's it. Very long story short, everyone else has broken my heart in one way or another. In other words, I'm not much of a people person, but I want to work in a field dealing with teens and young adults. I'm also an only child, so I don't have any interactivity with brothers or sisters, probably another reason I'm so socially awkward.

So I know many of the people on this site are not only older than me but already set in a job, and some of you are even teachers from what I've read. Or at the very least you might have younger siblings. So what I need are tips, tips and help on how to get over my shyness/awkwardness around people and get in there and help these kids learn. I'm just not really sure how to deal with them, much less a whole classroom full of moody, hormonal teenagers. Any sort of advice you can give on how to handle teens if they get out of control/act up without being a bad teacher/overbearing teacher, then I would appreciate it. Every little bit helps. I want to be a good teacher but I'm worried I won't really be able to "get in there" so to speak and be active with the class. I don't want to be a boring stick in the mud with these kids, I want class to be a good learning environment.

 

[Crni Vuk]

The only advice I can give, be your self, be honest to the teens and take them and their issues seriously. I work right now a lot with children, and I am pretty introvert as well, and it is really a great experience. It can work, it's not mutually exclusive. It might even work in your favour, if you're more a quiet person, who's considerate and thoughtfull instead of screaming at every possible ocasion. You might take your time and actually listen to them, their ideas and what they have to say. You will probably learn over time what it means to be a teacher and gain experience. I think you might realize very fast how thankfull they can be, if they realize that they have a teacher who really wants to help them and teach them with passion, patience is key. One of the most important things is, even if they frustrate you, make you angry or what ever, punish them if you have to, but don't be resentfull. They are teenagers after all.

 

[Hassknecht]

Establish ground rules. Get a paddle.

 

[Spacemunkey]

I will give you my opinion based on 1. having a 13 year old, and 2. My wife teaches teenagers with learning disabilities and what I've seen from her. Treat them like people. Simple I know, but all you have to do is be real, not talk down to them or make them feel like you know way more than them even though you do. Never let them disrespect you because that's blood in the water and you will never get that respect back. I don't know if you've ever had a cool as shit boss who, while being awesome, that line of him being the boss was still there, like that.

 

[Ragemage]

snip

Actually I'll be teaching near Dallas, Texas, where parents actually have to sign permission forms if they don't want their kids to get paddled. Otherwise the kids can be whapped freely if they misbehave. I don't think I'd be able to use a paddle though. I'd probably just send them to the office.

snip

If I may ask, what grade do you teach? Or whatever system they have over in Europe. Or are you a teacher at all? It's good to see that someone whose also introverted has no problem working with kids. That gives me hope. I'm a very patient person so I'm glad that'll help. I was worried that because I'm a patient "bleeding heart" person that might cause problems. For instance when it comes to late work I don't plan to make it a 0 automatically like some teachers, but instead take 5 points off for every day it's late + whatever else they missed on the work. Also when it comes to kids giving some sob story excuse as to why they couldn't do their homework and ask for an extension, I'm worried I'll end up giving it to them because I get too attached. Basically my problem is I'm worried about being run over by these kids, haha. I want to get involved with my students and make them feel like I care about them, but I don't want to be a doormat, you know what I mean?

snip

I'm self employed currently, I run a lawn care business. It's a lot of work but thanks to the humidity in Mississippi yards grow back every week and a half so I make mad money as long as my customers don't move/can't afford services anymore.

Some of the best people I know were "mentally challenged". Sweetest, nicest kids you'd ever meet. I know how to deal with those type of people just fine, I've always had a soft spot for them. It's "normal" kids that I'm worried about.

 

[Spacemunkey]

She doesn't work with special needs kids, it's teenagers who need special attention like ADHD or Dyslexia. You also don't have to tell me about lawn care I'm on 4 acres in south Florida.

 

[Crni Vuk]

If I may ask, what grade do you teach? Or whatever system they have over in Europe. Or are you a teacher at all? It's good to see that someone whose also introverted has no problem working with kids. That gives me hope. I'm a very patient person so I'm glad that'll help. I was worried that because I'm a patient "bleeding heart" person that might cause problems. For instance when it comes to late work I don't plan to make it a 0 automatically like some teachers, but instead take 5 points off for every day it's late + whatever else they missed on the work. Also when it comes to kids giving some sob story excuse as to why they couldn't do their homework and ask for an extension, I'm worried I'll end up giving it to them because I get too attached. Basically my problem is I'm worried about being run over by these kids, haha. I want to get involved with my students and make them feel like I care about them, but I don't want to be a doormat, you know what I mean?

They are between 10-12, and I am not teaching them, as I don't have the qualification as teacher. It is more that I spend 3 hours with them, after the school together with 3 other people, of which 2 are qualified educators while the rest of us supports them. It's more like supervision and care. Playing games, watching over them, helping the children with their homework.
And yeah, I know perfectly well what you mean, Spacemonkey makes a great point, by treating them like people, and yeah, as simple as that sounds, that's pretty much it. Thankfully I have a rather easy job in that part, as I am not really a teacher, so I don't have to be as strict. And I think children of that age, are much easier to take care off compared to teenagers who tend to be rather rebelious. But, I guess teenager or children, you have to stick to the rules you have, I guess. That way people know, that you're fair. And if they know that you treat them fair and with respect, you should have much less problems.

 

[Millim]

Well, I'm not sure how good my advice will be so I hope it helps (at least a little).

But I can kind of understand where you're coming from, I'm someone who isn't exactly a social darling. In fact, I didn't go to a house party till I was 16 (And I've been to about five, so that works out like one a year) and didn't get my first girlfriend until a week before I was 17 (it lasted 5 days... I've not had one since...).
Long story short... I'm not social at all really.
But, I was an Assistant Scout Leader for a few years (this is in the UK btw, so it's between the ages of 11 and 14 and a half I believe) and the best thing I can say is, be yourself. Also, just try to think about this, they are there to see you and listen to you. Now it can be nerve wrecking going up and talking them for the first few times. I understand Scouting is very different than teaching, so I guess another example I can give is that I helped at a few times at my Dad's old school.

So I guess all I can say is this, pick up on different techniques. Try to use some of these techniques on how to handle misbehaviour and use the ones that work for you. If a 15 year old is getting a bit moody towards you, try to take the piss out of him a bit. Not too much through. (I'll give you an example, if a kid says something like "I'm not reading this book because it's boring" say something back like "Was the first word really that difficult for you?"), it's not something to overuse really and you should be careful who you say it. But from what I've seen being in school and everything, kids like it when they can somewhat relate to you. Also, it's not being strict and isn't giving out the harshest of punishments, but it livens up the classroom a bit, lets students get relaxed and that kid, well they won't like you for the rest of the lesson, but they won't like the idea that people are laughing at their expense, meaning that they might not bother you for the rest of the lesson.

Also, I would advise not sending students to the principle too often. You can get away with it for the first few weeks, but if your students pick up on that you're not the one telling them off, they will walk all over you.

Get to know your students as well, it's English, in my opinion, English is a much easier subject to get a chance to know students than say maths. Allow them to pretty much get a chance to speak, hear their thoughts on how they see the works they are studying. If someone interrupts something differently than they have in class, then listen to their ideas. It'll help the class as a whole.

Also, I mentioned before it helps if students can relate to their teachers in some way. The fact you're on a forum right now about games could help in the long run. They know you're into games, next thing you know you're having debates about them outside of lessons (just remember not to punch them if they say Fallout 4 is the best game ever ).

But yeah, I kind of hope that helps at least a little. I'm not sure how much it will as it's mostly from personal experience. (There's also the fact I don't know how American Schools are run exactly, I know a little, but outside of that, I just have TV to help me and that's really not much good).

Anyway, good luck with it all, I'm sure you'll make a fine teacher.

 

[Ragemage]

snip .

Nah, I think your advice was very sound. Thank you very much for the kind words. I'll definitely try to keep in mind all that you said. Taking the piss out of them seems like a good idea, though I don't know how effective I'd be at it, haha.

 

[Millim]

Nah, I think your advice was very sound. Thank you very much for the kind words. I'll definitely try to keep in mind all that you said. Taking the piss out of them seems like a good idea, though I don't know how effective I'd be at it, haha.

No worries man

 

[MutantScalper]

Actually I'll be teaching near Dallas, Texas, where parents actually have to sign permission forms if they don't want their kids to get paddled. Otherwise the kids can be whapped freely if they misbehave.

Wow. No physical punishment allowed here. Unless it's like an active fight and you have to pull the fighters apart or defend your own life or something.

Some of the best people I know were "mentally challenged". Sweetest, nicest kids you'd ever meet. I know how to deal with those type of people just fine, I've always had a soft spot for them. It's "normal" kids that I'm worried about.

Yes, mentally challenged folks aren't usually the unruly ones, it's the 'normals' aka little sociopaths.

Don't know what to say to you, it's a difficult racket. If you're a temp teacher it can be even more difficult. It helps if you personally know a teacher who specialises in these things, like a special education teacher, not sure what the title is. Those ones deal with the unruly ones all the time. Ask them for advice, that's all I can say.