Why women are cranky

Z

Zoe

Where'd That 6th Toe Come From?
Hi, Folks

I received that in an e-mail.

"Why Women Are Cranky" ...written by a woman

We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old
only to find anything that comes in contact with those
tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to
tears.

Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra
contraption the boys in school will snap until we have
calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or
sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat,
we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear
little mattresses between our legs or insert
tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even
know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is
having sex for the first time which is about as much
fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your
nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with
his little cart before his horse), leaving us to
wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on
dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't
spend the entire day leaning over Brother John.

Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are),
we learn to live with the growing little angels inside
us steadily kicking our innards night and day making
us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once
flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon
whole and we pee our pants everytime we sneeze.

When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed
Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the
middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big
cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to
the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while
the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar.
Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push,"
warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch
the bastard (and hubby) square in the nose for making
us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowling
ball through a keyhole.

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to
find that when all that "cute" wears off, the
beautiful little darlings morph into walking,
jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking
little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost
grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime
in our mid-30's to early 40's while hubby had his
somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens
to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you
pregnant in the first place).

Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the
Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT
and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the
aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a
hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily
and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than
men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on
life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without
soaking their socks...

Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make
the Great Ghandi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker
sex"?

Yeah, right.
 
Zoe said:
Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat,
we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear
little mattresses between our legs or insert
tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even
know we had.
Click to expand...

bwahahah_70.jpg


Yeah, and to say that "girls just wanna have fun"... :wink:
 
Women should quit their bitchin'. Guys get cramps, too. They're called blue-balls. When we hit puberty, we constantly wanna touch ourselves, and we do it till it hurts sometimes. Then after we hit our sexual peak, we start balding, getting fatter, getting gassier, and hurting our backs in motorcycle accidents caused by some woman who was paying more attention to her mascara in her rear-view mirror than the motorcyclist that had the right of way and NO stop sign.

Plus, we can catch those damned yeast infections just as easily as you can. An evening of hot buttery sex leaves me with a penis that appears to be rotting from my body. Skin coming off in sheets, and a smell of death.

And get this..Men are the stronger sex because WE have to deal with YOU! All your problems, we hear about them, we comfort, and we think to ourselves "Guess I'm not gonna get laid tonight. Here come the blue-balls." We put up with you when you're bitchy, when you're bloated, when you're bleeding, and when you're pregnant. And we go out to get you tampons, candy bars, onions, and anything else you desire when it's freezing outside and the roads are iced over because if we don't, we hear about it for a week.

That sounded angry...It wasn't intended to. Just a bit of information from a man's perspective.
 
Ryno- man, I sympathize with you. Penis looks like it's rotting from your body.

Might you be suffering leperosy?

WHile it's true that women do suffer, men are often the ones who have to listen to it.

Not that I am unsympathetic- I feel bad for your women because of those damn shoes you have to wear.

Now as for me-


>We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
>from the male side. These are our rules!
>
>They're ALL important and not in priority order.
>
>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a grown woman. If it's up, put
>it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
>about you leaving it down.
>
>2. Sunday = sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
>Let it be, just accept it.
>
>3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
>way.
>
>4. Crying is blackmail.
>
>5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
>work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
>
>6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
>7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
>we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>
>9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
>all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
>10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
>act like soap opera guys.
>
>11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
>
>12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
>waysmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
>13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
>done.Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
>commercials.
>
>15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
>
>16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
>for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
>idea what mauve is.
>
>17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
>18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing, "we will act like nothing
>is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
>19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
>don't want to hear.
>
>20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
>fine...Really.
>
>21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
>discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
>
>22. You have enough clothes.
>
>23. You have too many shoes.
>
>24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
 
A guy down the hall posted those rules on his door. Except for he had them all labeled "1", because he said they were all important.

Ryno, who ever asked you to buy tampons for them? I assure you, she doesn't speak for our whole gender.
 
I dislike how there's so many double-standards. If a guy wore a skirt, had about 10 pairs of shoes and started punching women he'd get arrested.


I also hate stupid tampon ads. What the fuck is the big deal with all that crap? Seems a little silly that we get told about periods and the ugly devices they have too use during dinner. They should have ads for porn during the day, if a man doesn't fuck he gets a bit cranky too.
 
Im copying those rules and putting them on my door and mailing them to all my girlfriends, ty welsh!
 
Those aren't rules. They are just plain common sense! heh.

Sad that common sense has to be put in rule form. Women don't operate on logic :scratch: :wall:

:)
 
megatron said:
I also hate stupid tampon ads. What the fuck is the big deal with all that crap?
Click to expand...

I honnestly don't know why people need to watch tampon ads either. In fact they seem almost as useless as makeup ads to me - and I'm a girl, so they must seem even more useless to you guys.

megatron said:
Seems a little silly that we get told about periods and the ugly devices they have too use during dinner.
Click to expand...


One solution to that would be to not watch TV during dinner. :D
 
Ryno, who ever asked you to buy tampons for them? I assure you, she doesn't speak for our whole gender.
Click to expand...

I've had a few girlfriends ask me to buy them. As in more than one. My current girlfriend doesn't ask me to do that, though. She doesn't ask much of me, except to not wander around with my dong flapping around at parties.

I think the worst thing I had to buy for any girl was a tube of KY Jelly...The tampons didn't bother me..Pregnancy tests and condoms don't bother me. I've even purchased female contraceptives (foams and such)...Once, I had to buy a vibrator and nipple clamps for a kinky chick I lived with (She went with me, but I had to pay because she wasn't 21)...But getting KY....Man...I just knew the person at the checkout counter thought I was going to stick things in my ass.
 
It is, but it hurts.

No personal experience, but I've been told.
 
Even with KY, apparently anal sex is a pain in the...heh...almost made a pun.

KY is used for lubrication of the vagina and/or the anus. For the vagina if the woman's just dry, and stuff, and for the ass because the ass has no natural lubricant. I've stuck my penis in an ass or two in my day, and that lasted maybe 10 seconds because I heard "OH, DAMN! TAKE IT OUT, TAKE IT OUT!" And that's with a ton of KY.
 
If you dont have lube, then fuck her from front for a few minutes or have her suck on it to lube it up, it usualy works, and by the time that drys up, the pre-cum is lubing the rest of the way.


Thats just my experince anyway.
 
ExtremeRyno said:
I've stuck my penis in an ass or two in my day, and that lasted maybe 10 seconds because I heard "OH, DAMN! TAKE IT OUT, TAKE IT OUT!" And that's with a ton of KY.
Click to expand...

:eyebrow:

[3PD said:
PsychoSniper]If you dont have lube, then fuck her from front for a few minutes or have her suck on it to lube it up, it usualy works, and by the time that drys up, the pre-cum is lubing the rest of the way.
Click to expand...

disgust.jpg


No, really guys: is this necessary? Huh? :roll:
 
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