I’d like to point out that I really appreciate it when people put effort in translating (or fixing the translation) of this awesome mod. I hope you didn’t take any offense at my rather short remark in my previous post. Anyway, here goes:
scr.png
“Why do they think they are insufficient having local guards is beyond me.”
A sentence that starts with 'why do' Should always end with a question mark. Besides that, the sentence is a bit disjointed. It could be restructured like this:
Why they think the local guards are insufficient, is beyond me.
Why they think it’s insufficient having just local guards, is beyond me.
Or, if you wish to keep the question-structure, you could formulate it like this:
Why do they think they are insufficiently staffed having local guards? It is beyond me.
scr1.png
“Is it not too many words for creature, who had lost his human form?”
Are those not too many words (words being plural, the verb should be plural too)
For a creature, (forgot an ‘a’)
Who has lost his human form? (had should be has)
Suggestion: ”That’s an awful lot of words for a creature who claims he has lost his human form.”
scr2.png
“Or maybe just a junk, who knows.”
Or maybe just junk, who knows. (junk is plural, you can't have a junk, 'a piece of junk' would also be correct.)
Suggestion:
You got evidence against Sam Phillips. Or proof of his innocence. Or maybe nothing at all, who knows.
scr3.png
“For couple of seconds”
Should be “For a couple of seconds” (forgot an ‘a’)
There’re more mistakes in there. Stuff like the placement of comma’s, singular/plural verbs. But overall nothing major. In fact, what you did is already a major improvement over the very rough original translation.