I missed out...
I spent the whole night on Christmas Eve hunkered down in the snow outside my house. The near full-moon cast an eerie glow over the glistening landscape of ice as I kept watch in the direction of the roof...waiting for that fat fool and his "Bag of Never-Ending Joy" to land oh my roof so I could take him down with a few shots through his belly of jelly. If he were to plan a quick emercency take-off, I also had a bull-horn to startle the reindeer. My plan was to take the bag Santa had and pull out whatever I desired...or even turn it upside down and let all the presents of the world spill down decadently in front of me. It was not to be...
I somehow fell asleep. When I awoke I found a neatly wrapped box in front of me in green and red. Inside was a delicately carved lump of coal in the shape of Santa himself. The coal likeness...had its pants off and was mooning me. I slammed my fist into the cold snow...
I'll get him next year,
The Vault Dweller