Hardboiled Wanderer
I'm just here for the guzzoline...
Had to create an account to write this because I am absolutely shocked. Reading this was heartbreaking as a long time admirer of the Van Buren concept since it was leaked in 2005 and by extension this entire project. This was the third (and in my opinion the most promising) public project I've witnessed that came and went which could've finally given us the Fallout that die hard fans were long waiting for, and furthermore it's personally my most desired cancelled game of all time. I still remember following every piece of available media related to this project anticipating the next update with dedicated excitement since it seemed so encouraging that maybe someday we may have a chance for something that many considered was never meant to be. As a matter of fact, I can't even remember when I was so enthusiastic about an upcoming game when considering what Bethesda has done to the franchise.
Maybe this isn't my place to discuss this, but I have read enough from the related twitter and discord posts to carry my own opinions on the matter. Judging by what I gathered from the Molten Clouds team, it's clear their reaction to what happened is appropriately warranted and completely understandable. I more than wish that I could consider the situation excusable if civil diplomacy had been established rather than such an aggressive approach and unprofessional hostility that brought us to the circumstances we're in now.
After that, I can understand why you may not want to continue the project after going through this ordeal, I'll admit I see no justifiable way to condone for these irrational executive decisions in the immediate future. But your attempts to bring a long dead project people still yearn for today were still both extremely aspiring and promising. You may have justifiably earned the anger from a significant amount of people. However I, and I'm certain plenty of others, could forgive these actions if there was evidential proof of acknowledged amendment through revisions from these fraudulent choices and genuine authenticity in your subsequent work as atonement. Which I would consider the most mature and practical redeeming method to rectify this incident.
if you sincerely believe you have no other alternative for continuing and decide to permanently withdraw from this project:
I would ask you one thing from all of this. Which is that I will implore, perhaps go so far as to beg you to please attempt to speak with an experienced crew member with an earnest, competent reputation or an equally skilled willing participant to gather the two years of original work you produced so it would not go to waste. From there, they could pick up where you left off as project manager and they themselves can guide the project into a legitimate, honest, and reputable product. There are countless of eager Unity3D-savvy supporters that would love to participate and see the game to completion and would be equally disheartened to see this project simply die like the others. It won't matter how many years it'd have to take even with corners no longer being cut, for there'd finally be a semblance of a chance after 17 years of empty promises and failed proposals.
If anyone would be punished the most from this decision, it would be the entire loyal fan community that'd have to wait another decade just to watch another prospective attempt try and fall victim again to the "Van Buren Curse", even if you no longer have personal attachment, I plead that you share this dream with a new team so this project won't end up just like them, there is too much promising potential for this to just end right now.
Thank you for writing this. These thoughts of yours made me think about the whole situation once again and I had a chat with my best bud and associate lead of my team on what to do. Before we get to what we agreed on, let me explain one thing:
The following statement is not meant to be an excuse nor alibistic desire to avoid consequences of my actions. As I said several times, I am fully aware of what happened, I've already apologized for it and to be frank, I don't feel good about myself at all. In addition, I respect the fact that, especially modding community, hates me now. Let that be my punishment, I sure as bloody hell deserve all that.
Now, you may wonder, why I did it in a first place, when now, I am talking like a saint here? Well, let me say what I feel needs to be said, and take from it whatever you want, or don't take nothing and keep hating me, I don't care. I've been through much worse than this virtual non-sense arguing.
Why was I using MC assets? Well, first of all, from all those thousands of assets found in their bundle I was given by one of their team members, I actually used, like, dozen at most. Again, it's not an excuse, I should not even have them without MC leads knowing about it, let alone using them, yes, I agree, I'm a fool, hate me for that all you want. But the question remains - why? Well, here is an answer - I worked on a whole game alone, so I wanted to speed things up. There is nothing more to it. And yet again, it's not an excuse, it's a fact.
MC lead tried to "school" me when we were settling this down, how hard was his team working on those assets and whatnot, trying to imply that I only grabbed his assets with no work and then acted like a big game dev. With no disrespect meant, this guy may be a very good modder, but he sure isn't a skilled game developer, for anyone with at least a bit of experience in game dev would recognize that true amount of work even from bloody screenshots, especially in my case, since, as you may know, I worked on this all by myself.
I was given an option to have artisticly perfectly fitting assets from community production, so I took it. Out of my passion to this project, I underwent that risk. And no, I'm not making a hero of myself. I don't care to, really. I'm not doing this for money or publicity. If I was, you would recognize that.
Of course, my usage of those assets wouldn't have been that much of a crime at all. It could've been worked out, as MC lead agreed with me. Problem started when I was confronted about it, and this is where my stupidity, aggresion and generally "not-really-myself" all acted out. And now, I'll be completely honest - I was approached by some random twitter russian (no disrespect, I'm a Slav myself, I fluently speak Russian, I've spent time in Russia and I love Russians as all Slavs) kiddo (judgeing from the photo, I'm not disrespecting him but, honestly, guy with no whisker under his nose must be 10 years younger than me) accusing me of using his assets. I told myself - what the fuck would you know about that kid? I felt insulted (and, well, I sure didn't have a reason for that, but I did felt like that). So I started the shitstorm of lies how these are not his assets, thinking "no one can prove that". And just a side note, it's really hard to prove something like asset ownership, as what is the measure of it? Amount of time spend with it? Amount of skill put into it? Is the owner the one who started it or finished it? Who can judge that? Answer this for yourself. Because don't you think I just copy pasted their assets like that. I've spend hours modifying them, some less, others more, but time was spent nonetheless.
So yeah, this is what I did. I'm guilty as charged, I admit I was a fool and acted even worse, actually pretty much against my nature and temper. But it's done, now the consequences come and I'm not afraid of facing them.
I have stated an apology to MC lead few days ago. Of course, he wasn't welcoming me with warm hug but we both agreed that all this is, quote, done. Not friendly, not honourable, just done. We agreed to an "arrangement" under which I delete all MC assets from my harddrives (which I did) and MC literally won't give a shit about my project just as they didn't give before this affair.
The reason why I shut the whole thing down, even with nobody demanding it, is the hate and internet bullying some of my team mates were given. If it was just me, I wouldn't care, but I can't let people attacking my crew for things they didn't even know about (yes, I never told them those assets were from MC. I could be an alibist and say - they didn't ask, but I am not and I admit this was another dishonest thing from me). I don't want them to be facing public attacks of type "hey, you work with that thief". These people have their dreams and goals in game industry and with such community status, industry may not be welcoming to them.
As I said though, these posts of yours made me think. I don't wanna be portraited like your "Van Buren hero" and I don't need that kind of publicity. I'm not doing all this for that. It's a passion and desire for learning new things, making community happy is just a sideproduct, yet very welcome one. However, I feel like I, sort of, have responsibility for this project. From what I've read here, people had put their hope into it. Not many, but some really did. The way I see it now, with much cooler head and brighter mind, it would be irresponsible to just disappear like that and leave this common dream of ours behind, wouldn't it? This is not about me and my foolish actions, nor Molten Clouds assets anymore. It's about Van Buren itself. With no intentions to sound heroic, I've given 2 years of my life to it. I was gifted by meeting an incredible bunch of talented people to work with. I can't even begin to express how impressed I was when my core team members stood behind me in this mess and stated they are ready to continue the work.
After a chat with my associate lead, we agreed not to abandon Van Buren. We can't continue the work on it as it is now though. To eliminate and prevent issues with asset needs and potencial further compromising situations, we decided to downgrade the visual presentation to original tech demo quality (although with upscaled textures). I hope this will not dissappoint you.
You know, thing is that my sick obsession with nice-looking graphics forced me to find "shortcuts" when looking for assets, which brought us here, so to prevent that, I need to chain myself to good ole' 2003 graphics.
Thank you for changing my mind. And if you can, forgive my foolishness.