RussiaBlog, spinning the tales of vodka and women

Heh heh. Glad to see he's allright. Was getting a bit worried there...


Kharn said:
And then there're the kids. Just a few days ago, I gave Vadim a hug and he
called me "papa", at which point you could've simply swept me up with a
broom.
Click to expand...

Hmm... It usually scares me to death when a kid calls me that...
 
Kharn said:
Hello everybody,

Let's see here...

I had an email typed up which is shorter, y'see, ready to send to you
wonderful lot of people and to the people waiting at the end of the
highly complex pipeline that brings mails from my mind to your eyes
(and, depending on the person reading, into your minds), but, y'see, I
lost it, so here I go. Again. Count your lucky stars, 'cause this one
is much younger. "Yay, Thomas, more useless blabbering, thank you!"

îÕ ×ÏÔ, ÔÏÌËÁ Ó ÇÌÁÚÕ ÎÁ ÇÌÁÚ.

What can I say...

As of a few weeks ago, I've pushed through the proposal to do Grease as
the New Year's English-language musical and have been practising it
with the kids as the ÄÉÒÅËÔÏÒ ÍÀÓÉËÁÌ or, in a normal language that all
of you understand, director of the musical.

It's been an indescribable experience, I've been having so much fun,
the kids are incredible fanatic and energetic about it, the adults
fantastically supportive. It's giving me a sense of fulfillment I don't
think I've ever had before in my life.

My great support Alex, a Russian student who speaks more-or-less fluent
Russian, is sadly leaving soon, which leaves me with the Russian girls
Zhenya and Acya with whom, thankfully, I get along really well.

Lyosha, a 16-year old boy who lives in my room with me now, has been a
great support and is the leading role in the musical. He helps me out
wherever he can. It's been fantastically good for his development.
Since he moved into my room, I've seen him grow up at an incredible
rate before my very own eyes. He has so much energy for different
projects and even for school now.

Natasha, the 14-year old lead girl, has also devoted a lot of energy
into it. The look on her face when she asked me "So who has the leading
role" (in Russian, mind) and I told her "you" will forever stay in my
mind as one of the greatest sights I've ever seen.

Oh yes, my Russian. Depending on how much alcohol I have in me it is,
nowadays, around the level of basic broken communications to, after a
few bottles of whatever, fluent Russian. My grammatical skills are
still hovering somewhere between "crappy" and "absolute shit", but
since I've been spending more time on my Russian (slipping again
lately, but I plan to fix that as soon as I finish this email) and with
Julya as a teacher I've been making more progress, especially
vocabulary-wise.

In an average day I'm quite often forced to speak Russian, as a lot of
the main workmen (Sasha (who is my boss), Tolic, Vlad) don't speak
English and Tamara, who is in my house most of the day, doesn't either.

I keep busy these days. I have to get up around 7 if there's been a
cold night (it's currently quite warm, around 0 during the day, but it
was -15 at night and in the early morning but a week or so ago, and it
will be colder again) to light the stove in my house and set the
warming system into motion so that it is not too cold for the
kindergarten that resides in the same building at around 10:00, then I
have an oppertunity to crawl back into bed at around 7:30 usually to
get up again at 8:30 to do a rehearsel during the first hour of school.


I will be teaching again once Natasha leaves a week from now, but
currently I spend all the time after breakfast (9:30) to 18:00 (6 pm,
dopy Americans) working outside.

"Working outside" is an interesting experience now, and funny jobs pop
up. You're plowing through about 10 or so cms of snow at times, though
if you misstep you can hit a gully and go right down to the knees, and
sometimes it is snowing while you're working.

Neither this nor the temperature crawling towards -20 celsius seems to
change much about work. I've spent entire days splitting logs out into
the field, shovelling coal, stacking logs or shovelling snow. At times
you get this itching feeling of "hey, that's exactly how I pictured
this place to be", like when I was splitting logs in the very snowy
field and the sun set on my at 6, leaving me pretty much in sudden
semi-darkness on my own.

After dinner at 7 I usually have another repetition at around 8. The
rest of the evening is more or less free, apart from doing the dishes
and the stove again. I'm sort of kind of fed up with spending time with
volunteers at this point and have through the past few weeks spent most
of my time drinking tea with the Russians and talking with them (in
English or Russian, or both usually).

It will be even better once Natasha and Alex are gone, sad as those
events may be, as it will be just me and one other volunteer and I,
asocial and cruel as it might be to her, feel absolutely no need
anymore to spend time with anyone other than the Russians.

Obviously the kids are great and, except for the 6 13/14-year old girls
who all possess their individual mean streaks (but I still love them to
bits and when they're not in a group they often act very nice to me), I
get along with all of them, varying from getting along well to getting
along great.

The kids I've lived with in one room during my stay here (Vova, Lyosha
and Sergei) are all absolutely great. I also love spending time with
the young (ages 5 to 11) kids at Tamara's, though that eats a lot of
energy.

As I expected and might've mentioned before, I get along best with the
younger adults here. Kyrill, a 19-year old former orphan who will study
in Moscow come next year, and me live together in one room (+ Lyosha,
yes) and he is definitely my best mate here. We've spent many
interesting days working together and nights drinking beer or vodka and
talking about anything, though usually about women, rap, cultural
differences between Russia and Holland, etc etc. He and I have almost
identical senses of humour and his English is great. It's been
fantastic.

The too-cool-for-school Kolya and his younger brother Sergei, who
returned from 2 years of army service not too long ago, are two more
great friends for me here and they both get along well with me. When
Liza Hollingshead of Ecologia Trust visited she asked Kolya about all
the volunteers and all he had to say about me is "He's great". Sergei
is quite shy, but if not in too much company he and I can talk well in
half-English half-Russian (his English is not as good as his brother's)

And the girls...agh...the girls, light of my eyes...Masha Pichugina,
whose house I live in, is a sweet, open-hearted and warm girl who
appreciates my efforts in the house in such a way that, even if it
wasn't it's own reward, that would be enough to make it all worthwhile.
Just yesterday she told me that I'm like a spirit of the house (a
Russian thing. I've heard it translated "brownie" by a professional,
but I don't know how correct that is) and a great support for her
(she's a very busy girl, as she teaches history in the school, studies
history by correspondence at Moscow Uni, is the leader of the
Orion/Kitezh II community and does extra stuff, like being a mentor and
doing special mentor hours with the 8th class).

Zhenya, the volunteer coordinator, can be slightly infuriating, but is
a lovely girl nonetheless. She's very helpful but also very pushy and
demanding. When she's in a more giving mood we get along great and she
seems to really like me.

Acya, my main musical co-director, has such a great personality. She
could easily try to waltz over me when it comes to the musical, like
Zhenya has done (making me put my proverbial director's foot down on
three major issues already), but she is open and sweet, always giving
my ideas preference though always with a critical eye and ready
suggestions and always checks whatever she does with me. She's been a
great support here and I've had really good talks with her about my
problems and also about her problems, supporting one another that way.

Masha Krivenkova, a wonderful girl with the most expressive and smiley
face I've ever seen and a seemingly limitless supply of creative energy
to think up new wonderfully creative projects for the children or
adults (the little sketches she made for Vladislav's birthday (which
was a big event), in one of which me and Alex took place, were
absolutely brilliant and sent the entire community roaring with
laughter) has been great too.

She loves pointing out what a brooding, strange and ÓËÏÒÂÎÅ (sorrowful)
man I was when I first arrived, while now I walk with a light step and
a twinkle in my eye and manage to make her laugh at least ten times a
day (yes, usually on purpose). Yesterday she asked me "Thomas! What's
the secret of your attractiveness?" which is the kind of compliment
that sends a tingle through you coming from a girl like that (and no,
before you think it; she's practically married)

Julya is a volunteer from Kaluga I mentioned before. She was here in
the summer and one of the first Russians I ever properly talked to.
She's back now and we've been getting along really well. She's my
Russian teacher, which she finds very amusing (she's a professional
Russian language teacher and philologue, but has never taught a
foreignor and is not qualified too (nobody in Kitezh is)). She's a
beautiful, kind girl with a heart-rending smile. Not too long ago, I
watched the Russian Solaris (which, as I finally saw with my own eyes,
is actually called óÏÌÑÒÉÓ which is pronounced and transcribed as
"Solyaris") with her, which was a really cool experience, especially
since it is, obviously, in Russian and without subtitles. Could still
follow it from memory of the book plus a little bit of Russian I
understood.

Valya Kanukhina, an incredibly talented girl and one of the last-year
students in the school, has also been a great support for me with her
fluent English. She did not take an immediate liking to me, but has
been very warm with me lately and often comes up for a talk. She's a
very responsible, hard-working girl.

Who else who else. I don't have nearly as much contact with the rest of
the community, partially out of lack of time partially out of lack of
ability to communicate. Still, almost all the men go to the banya and
we have great talks about any subject there, usually accompanied by
beer. Beer is the main drink here, not vodka. Vodka is too expensive
and too much trouble to drink, beer has been catching up with in Russia
post-communism at an incredible rate.

Generally speaking they don't drink much here, though, and most of the
drinking I do is with volunteers or some of the rare drinking people in
Kitezh (basically, from the ones I drink with, Sergei Khlopenov, Vlad,
Kyrill, Kolya and Sergei Zhuravlev). Most adults only drink at special
occassions (birthdays or big arrivals/departures) and not much then

I have, however, talked some with every member of the community. I talk
on an almost daily basis with Tamara Pichugina, who runs the
kindergarten in my house. Yesterday she was telling me about the
situation in the Ukraine, for instance. I've had interesting talks with
Sasha Lukyanov about art and it's great to work with Tolic Filipenko,
because he always invites one for coffee afterwards. Vlad Terentyev, in
whose house I used to live, is always ready to recieve me for a movie
and a drink whenever I feel like dropping by.

Sergei is also a big fan of good films and a good man to sit down with
for a drink and a movie, plus he knows loads about Russian culture and
is a good, interesting storyteller. Max Anikeyev, the director of the
school, has a great and ready sense of humour, another good man for tea
and a chat.

Russian gatherings where there are more than 5 people tend to be very
funny. Without fail someone will grab a guitar and start playing songs
of which at least half the people know the lyrics. I love sitting there
listening to them playing their songs.

Some events...We've had some big visits lately, from Liza Hollingshead,
the boss of Ecologia Trust and as such the biggest person responsible
for how rich Kitezh is right now and from David Dean, an OBE (member of
the British Empire or something like that) who ran a school for
troubled children (deeply troubled, more so than the Kitezh children)
who currently spends his days running around the world helping
different organisations (he was in Uganda just before he came to
Kitezh).

Liza is a very warm person who kind of makes you relax and feel
comfortable just by being there. She was very supportive of us
volunteers struggling along through our days. She's worked very hard
for the odd decade now and without her, Kitezh could not nearly host as
many children or give them as much materially as they do (good food,
enough clothes and then even extras, like having tvs, dvdplayers,
cdplayers in Kitezh) and, without her advise, Kitezh as a community
might well be worst off. Yet she never mentions this and whenever she
mentions how much it's changed since her last visit (the last year has
been a prosperous one for Kitezh) she mentions it as if it just
happened like that without her help.

David Dean is a very interesting guy who just radiates dude-ness, a
willingness to listen and an unending friendliness. He had many
interesting stories to tell and gave Kitezh so much good, solid advise
during his stay here. He's been coming to Kitezh for the odd 7 years
now and has brought it many good ideas and help. That is what he does
with his life these days, in fact, bring good ideas to people that need
them. A great man.

What else? I'm very settled and happy here now, with a steady rhytmn
and everything. Funny thing is, I have only about 4 or 5 articles of
clothing left from what I brought (not counting underwear, and not
counting socks, which all dissappeared but for 2 pairs), the rest comes
from a package donated by Dena's (the volunteer who has been working in
Moscow/Russia for Kitezh for 2 years now) mom or bought in baryatino or
borrowed clothes from Tamara Pichugina. It's funny to be dressed like
that, but also quite easy as everything is incredibly cheap here. Don't
believe me? Ok, let me give you some examples from my last shopping
trip. Call a euro a dollar for ease, bloody yanks.

Bag of 700 grams of biscuits and sweet = 45 roubles (1.30 euros)
Good kitchen knife = 10 roubles (0.25 euros)
Pair of socks = 10 roubles (0.25 euros)
Hat = 50 roubles (1.40 euros)
2 liter bottle of beer = 40 roubles (1.20 euros)

I bought a load of supplies (food, alcohol) for a party hosting about
10 to 15 people and was only down about 500 roubles (15 euros/dollars).

What else can I say? My sleeping rhytmn is still bad, me being me, but
quite good by comparison to me back home. The beds here consist of
planks and a very thin mat (about as thick as a blanket, though harder)
which is very very comfortable once you get used to it, and I usually
wake up well-rested.

Still working hard all day means I'm still quite fit. My hands are
perpetually covered in dirt and/or coal, a state of which I derive a
pleasure that none of the Russians seem to understand. "Crazy Dutchman"
(my official nickname, however, is çÏÌÌÁÎÄÓËÉ óÐÉÏÎ (Dutch spy), as
they're all convinced I came here to find out the secrets of Kitezh for
the Dutch secret service/AIVD)

Computers I have grown a bit of a distaste of, though chances are I'll
go back to status quo when I get back (I hope not). Some of the kids
play computer games every now and again, but only with permission and
it is very, very rare. No tv and no computer means that the kids have
time for so much else and they are indeed kept busy all day.

I've been reading A LOT lately. The English library is quite good, the
greater part of it being translations of Russian classics and I've been
brushing up much on my Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Bulgakov, Turgenev, Pushkin
(though I still don't like poetry too much) etc etc. I've made some
attempts at reading snatches of Russian and can manage some basic
texts. I'm currently working at a copy of a Mickey Mouse comic book
with Donald Duck stories in it. Could never do without Donald Duck
(much thanks to my parents for sending me a few copies in Dutch too)

Now, as for the kids, they spend all morning 'till 14:15 (2:15 pm) on
school and two hours in the afternoon on homework, one hour every day
on work (outside for boys, kitchen for girls) and usually have extra
stuff like reading hours, mentor hours (there's a big system here
called the Game, a complex structure of mentors and pupils which has
been working miracles for the kids), extra work or little meetings to
attend to. Little time for idling, and all work and practice means
these kids are healthy, active and incredibly talented.

Talented indeed. All the boys can breakdance like madness, all the
girls know aerobics up to a high level and are great dancers. Masha
Sarukhanyan and Zhenya Sinko are great painters/drawers (Zhenya is
incredible at the age of 13). Lyosha Molchagev and Valya Kanukhina have
great musical talent. Each of the kids has his/her little quirks,
talents and enchanting bits of personality. I love every one of them to
bits.

What can I say...Alex' goodbye party yesterday (which was great, as
every Kitezhian really likes him) reminded me again that I really don't
want to leave. I love it here, I love these people. They, too, give me
signs of unwillingness at letting me go. Masha Krivenkova keeps
encouraging me to work, earn some money and go back to Kitezh ASAP.
Kyrill refuses to let me tell him when I'm leaving as he doesn't want
to know.

But oh well. öÁÌ, ÎÕ ÅÔÁ ÔÁË (my favourite line from a great Russian
song they play and sing here all the time called "White Dove". The line
means "It is a pity, but that's the way it has to be"). I don't think I
have either the money nor the will to return here after I go back to
Holland as my travelling lust draws me to new experiences, but I am
definitely returning here some day.

I hope everyone is doing well. One thing this place taught me which I
advise you all to apply to your daily life as of right now is; chill,
don't get too worked up about stuff because even if you fix it by
getting worked up about it, there's always more stuff). Have good
health and good luck in your nearby and distant future! Remember; luck,
like a Russian car, only works when you push it! (believe me, I know,
on both counts)

I don't like the look of the above paragraph. So I add one more to once
again give you all my love and well-wishes. I invite you all to mail me
whenever you want (but don't spread this address around too much,
please) and as much as you want. The pipelines are rusty here and I
think some mails get stuck somewhere between here and there at times,
but it can't hurt to try, just resend if you get no reply, that's what
I've been doing desperately for some time now. But still, mail mail
mail as much as you will will will!

Regards, greetings and an aight,

Thomas
Click to expand...
 
Great to see he's enjoying it there.

Now were gona hafta set one of these threads up for Elly, though.
 
PsychoSniper said:
Now were gona hafta set one of these threads up for Elly, though.
Click to expand...
How about (when Kharn's Russiablog is finished) renaming this thread "News from absent members", or something like that?

Anyway, I'm glad to see he's doing well there. The way he descibes it makes me want to go do something like that, even though I know I'd hate it. :P
 
I do that every summer, but without the snow and cold and for kids with different needs. Well worth the spiritual rewards, and I can relate with much of what Kharn talks about in these letters with familiarity.
 
good to hear from the ol' dutchy. still doing a great job it seems.

makes me wonder what kind of man you have to be to pull that off. i sincerely doubt if i could do it tbh...
 
Merry Christmas everyone! And also a Happy New Year soon enough!

Note, however, for sociological reference, that Christmas is yet to happen
here in Russia. All the switching about between calenders in its past means
that Christmas got shoved from the 25th of december on their old calender to
the 7th of January on the current one.

Not only that, but Christmas is not a major holiday here. It is a purely
religious holiday. Novigod aka New Year is the biggest holiday of the year
and that's what we're running up to right now. Me and Acya and Zhenya have
been working ourselves into a sweat for the Grease-musical, 'though Zhenya
is taking it a wee bit too serious if you be asking me (which nobody really
is, especially since I told the leader of the community that I'd deal with
it as the director musical if it would become a problem). Today, for
instance, I've already had a morning dress rehearsel, which has been
captured on tape, at 8:45, and now I have two more hours of rehearsel at
17:00-19:00 and then working on dialogue at 19:30. People are working hard
on the other plays, sketches etc.

"Дедушко морозь" (Grandfather Frost) or, in other words, Father
Christmas/Santa Claus also appears here on New Year, not on Christmas. I've
been asked to play Father Christmas, but I've been trying to shove the job
on to the only other volunteer here, as she's been pushed rather a lot aside
and it would be good for her to take part in something actively. Then again,
maybe I could convince them to do the Dutch Sint Nikolaas instead, heh.

As for Western Christmas, that passes without a wink or a thought here. The
phone lines (when I say lines I mean antenna + transmitter) were dead so no
calling home either. Means I've totally missed Western Christmas and the
Dutch Saint Nicholas' day...aaah, such freedom. Boxing Day (26th) doesn't
pass without notice here, as it is the birthday of the leader of the
community, Sergei. That was excellent fun. As is the custom on the birthdays
of the main people of the community here, sketches were performed mocking
him in a friendly manner (the best moment was when Maks, who played Sergei,
fell on his knees worshipping a camouflage-jacket (Sergei is quite
army-obsessed, he is a Chechnya-veteran, but I've personally only talked a
little bit with him about his time there (that little bit was already bad
enough though))), and many toasts were had (normal vodka as well as nice
vodka+herbs/other stuff (Black Sable vodka)) and then, of course, everyone
broke out into slowdances.

This habit of slowdancing all the bloody time quite annoyed me when I first
got here, but I must say I've grown a liking for it now and it's better than
that annoying habbit of picking up a guitar and singing whenever possible.
Plus I think it has been a bit rude of me to constantly be asked by the
girls (every one of the girls I mentioned in the previous email has asked me
for a slowdance at least once) to dance rather than vice versa. Sergei's
birthday was especially great as two of the girls, Masha Pichugina and Acya,
decided to play "Competition" with me, which meant one would start dancing
with me and then the other one would grab me away from her etc. Great fun.

Other stuff...I've been teaching a lot more, but that's stopped now as today
was the last day of school (I think). It's not been fun and I still dislike
teaching, but it was a nice challenge to face. One of the two classes was
quite easy and one of the pupils from that class, Valentin Mashkov, has
developed a great interest in English, according to him because of my
classes, and now keeps asking me for extra classes, which is great.

To relax my mind after teaching I nabbed (not exactly nabbed, as nobody else
wants it) one of the hardest physical jobs here in Kitezh; taking the big
trees and chopping the branches (which are often as thick as my leg
twiceover) off. This was a more relaxed job in the summer, but then I'd only
work at it for short stretches and the branches were less thick. Now, on my
own and standing in a deep layer of snow and working for hours on end it is
phantastically difficult. Yay for work! Now that Sasha is back, however, he
is giving me jobs again that are of more immediate use, rather than this,
which would normally not be done for months yet. Sadly, I also broke yet
another axe on this job. 's getting a bit wasteful.

What else? Soon I'll be returning, sadly. Don't know yet how exactly I'm
going back, but it looks like I'm going to go to Moscow, stay as short as
possible there and zoom back straight home in an airplane to help my mums
and dads move about their belongings from house to house.

That's about it, nothing else to say. Hope everyone's doing well!

Love,
Thomas
Click to expand...
 
Kharn said:
Dear friends and family!

Here we go again, for the last time, probably, or maybe not, we shall see...

Grease has come and gone. Indeed! What a brilliant performance it was! The
entire Kitezhian audience was roaring with enthusiasm and all the kids
performed their roles with brilliant energy. It was fan-tas-tic. Warm thank
you's from everyone and everything. It's been incredibly satisfying,
especially as the positive psychological effects of such satisfying work
already shows in a number of the kids, in particular the main hero Lyosha
and the second heroine Masha Sarukhanyan. 't was simply beautiful, and I was
almost blubbering at the excellent quality of the kids' performances at
points. Valentin has also been improving a lot, which is great since he's
always been a bit of a trouble-kid. Yesterday he got very angry with me
because I told him I'm going in 10 days and won't teach him English anymore.

The rest of novigod/new year was cool too, with their own Father Christmas,
played by the director of the school Maxim, performances from the little
kids and brilliantly funny sketches from the Moscow students (though I only
understood the first 2, the 3rd went straight over my head and flew into the
distance). Long disco after that and then drinking and drinking. It seems
most of the novigod cycle here is spent drinking. Hey...Russians. Nothing
wrong with that, though, and it gave me a chance to get closer to yet
another Russian ????, Sasha Fillipenko. Who, however, I will now never again
see in my life.

Yep, we're coming to the point now where I've been saying my permanent
goodbyes. The Moscow students have gone back to Moscow, and though some may
be back before I leave it is more likely that I'll never see them again. It
is sad, but it's the way it is. Soon will be a party for my leaving and then
it's goodbye forever.

What's really bugging me is that I currently have no idea where my camera is
and the place is crawling with kids sent down from Moscow families and
Kaluga orphanages for the summer camp. I can only hope that I will retrieve
it before I head back and that no joker'll have erased all its memory.

Bad luck is following me around lately and my mood is not getting better
with my impending return, so excuse me if I'm a bit grumpy upon my re-entry.
I am not really able to fill my days currently as I lack the energy since I
have nothing long-term left to invest in.

As icing on the cake, shortly before novigod I cut off the tip of my thumb
with an axe while doing kindling. In the middle of the night too, so I had
to wake Marina up to patch me up, poor woman. However, on the fortunate side
it's only the extreme tip and some nail and it has already healed
significantly, it looks like it won't even scar. Of course, to kick me in
the backside some more God made the handle of the waterboiler come off as I
was carrying it to the tap a few days back, spilling boiling water all over
my left foot. Another patchup there. Yay.

Well. Ha. Hum. Seems to be about it. See a lot of you within the coming
month, I hope. And for you people that I met here, addy back in Holland
would and will be tbeekers@xs4all.nl

Adios,
Thomas
Click to expand...
 
Is it me or Kharn is starting to sound more and more like the kind of person that smiles all the time and likes words ending in "~olly"?

...
 
What, he wasn't always like that? :lol:

He certainly is an accident waiting to happen tho, cutting off bit of his thumb etc.. tsk tsk.. You youngsters don't know how to do manual labor!
 
Tell us and teach us, o wise one, the ways of manual and oral labour :twisted:
 
Allow me to copy this partially from the Order:

Excuse my English, first and foremost. I've spent six months speaking only Russian and English, but I've spent little time there typing in English and most of the Russians don't exactly speak perfect English, which means I copied a lot of their bad habits ("Oh my God cow is dead" is one of the best or "you very bad man")

I wás in fact only logging on for reasons unclear to myself. But since I was simultaneously caught in the act by a large number of you people (which makes me wonder if you spent the past 6 months constantly looking at the "Who's online" list) I might as well welcome myself back into your loving arms. Hey-ho. 1331 unread threads, by the way.

I got through Moscow with some trouble, though that town stinks to high heaven. Except for Athens, I have never seen such a disgusting city in my life. Then I flew back to Rotterdam and hey presto, the next day I'm carrying around furniture from a house into a moving van and then from the van into another house (an effort of futility, when you look at it, but that's the West for you).

Hmmm...

Now I'll be honest with you. I am not happy to be home. In fact I can hardly call this hole my home. If it wasn't for my family, who I love very much, I would be very depressed to be back here. As it is I am not happy at all and my frayed nerves keep making my snap at everyone. I warned people about this a while ago and hope you will excuse me if I do the same here, though the internet thankfully gives more oppertunity to step back and take a breather.

But yes, I went from a loving, open community, a welcoming house, people I love, full days of very satisfying work to...heh...all of you know what life in the west is like. TV, internet, boring jobs, people closed off from one another, big pointless cities, long dreadful rants about every little piece of the anthill. *shudders* What I wouldn't give to be back home right now.

Also excuse the large amounts of alcohol I'm consuming right now. I am losing part of my sorrows in alcohol, which works even if it is not healthy. But hey, in Russia they hardly consider beer strong enough to be a soft drink and I copied the attitude.

But hey, far be it for me to step into the cliff of melodramatics. I will get a job here, get in touch with the rest of my friends (it's a slow rate and they're too spread out across the country in universities by now; it's all taking a while) and eventually everything will be fine, I hope.

Kitezh taught me a lot. Taught or maybe showed. It showed me a fulfilling, active life. A life where I don't have to wake up to useless days and go to sleep tired off doing nothing, but instead wake up to a day of hard work and go to sleep (on a hard bed, but still) completely satisfied (shut it, you fags). And now I'm struggling to find even a shadow of that out here in the wasteland we call modern life. I spit on it.

Now understand this: I'm *hoping* to cut down severely on my internet time, though I might be around a lot on the coming week as I'm going to try and take a breather and take a serious look at my life and where it's heading (as I don't know right now), which will hopefully on the long term mean a decrease of my activity here. I might still post a healthy amount, but I can do that in a relatively short time each day. I will, however, try to stop constantly being around, which means I won't be as vigilant and ever-present as I was, nor as domineering an influence.

As for the future, well...my brother is getting married in March, yay, and I'm in the country at least 'till then. I might start university in September, but I don't know, I'll have to apply at some point in the not-too-distant future and still don't know what subject. After March I would like to leave the country again, but I don't know where. I'm seriously considering the States, but it's battling in my head against the tempting idea of returning to that realm that seems so much like heaven to me; Kitezh.
 
hmm... I dont know if you'd actually want to live in America, sir.

You know, you can always moved to the country either in Europe or America, and live long days doing hard work. Or, you can go into construction of some type, which is hard labor, and a job that shows what you can get done.
 
Ignore him. He's a damned Yankee.


Come visit a southern state and youll have a good 'ol time.

Oh, and welcome to NMA. Hey, howcome this guy gets a stickied welcome thread ? Is Rosh playing with some noob again ?



Oh, and welcome back Kharn
 
Wow, someone really needs to put you out of our misery PoS.

Bow before the mighty Kharn, or you shall feel the wrath.
 
Yeah, real bright.

"I'll be really clever and write a hidden message in black text, to an admin, who's tired, possibly drunk, pissed off, and generally doesn't 'highlight' whole posts looking for that sort of thing"

*sigh*
 
good to see you're back in one piece Kharn, although i'm sorry to hear it is under such bad circumstances.

i hope you figure out what you want to do with your life asap.
 
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