I once dreamt I was riding a unicorn, which in itself was already quite the scare 'cause unicorns are extremely wild animals - research has actually proven that unicorns are biologically closer to grizzly bears than to horses, so yeah.
Anyway, I was riding this unicorn through the fields and meadows of the stuff that dreams are made of, and all of a sudden a virgin crossed our path. Unicorns have this thing for virgins, you see, they become meek and weak whenever they see one and actually put their head in a virgin's lap to be caressed by her.
That's exactly what my unicorn did, the poor fool. Little did he know that the virgin who was holding his head in her lap was also wielding a goddamn machete with which she firmly cut of the unicorn's horn. Blood shot from the poor animal head, a fountain of mythical blood, in which soon bathed the virgin, holding the horn (and the machete).
I leapt from the unicorn's back and started to run, but the virgin was quick and dainty and she easily followed me around until I dropped to my knees, battling with extreme fatigue.
The virgin laughed at my pityful posture. She took hher machete and started to cut away my clothes (a velvet bodysuit with golden ornaments) until I was sitting there naked, resting on my hands and knees. I knew what was going to happen and tried to wake up, but I couldn't. All I could do was watch the virgin dip the unicorn's severed horn into a bucket of lubricant before she inserted it into my pooper. While doing so she yelled: "In China a unicorn's horn is considerd the ultimate afrodisiac, sissy boy!" And I all I could think of saying was: "We're not in China, you little bitch!"
I woke up soon after, bathing in sweat, with a morning erection the size of a baby's arm.