Teach me the secrets of English grammar!

The grammar of english (probably many other languages too) will be utter shit in a 100 years or so, when people will say - "ur rong cuz...", and will have to learn, to write that in a completely unfamiliar way.
Sad but true; it's already like that in many places here. You can hear English spoken, and not understand a word of it.

**In an hundred years, 'Newspeak' will exist as a functional (if limited) vocabulary for the masses; and they won't even know that its origins lay in a fiction that describes their predicament... and unwittingly served as a blueprint for it.

Isn't that pretty much what people already thought about Shakespeare?

I kinda have the feeling that we are stuck in a constant loop here.
 
Why are knicks and knight spelled with "n", wtf?
The "k" in these words are holdovers from Middle English and earlier. There was a lot of Saxon and Scandinavian influence in older English, and the "k" used to be pronounced rather than silent. Knight used to be more like "K'n-ICHT," if that makes sense. I think it all got softened after the Norman conquest.

When do you use two letters instead of one (exp: "success")?
The double-c comes from Latin and tends to follow Latinate rules in words like vaccuum, success, and succinct. Technically both c's are supposed to be pronounced, but almost no one does that. Other double letter follow (and break) a variety of rules. In general they have a slightly longer pronounciation than single letters. Often when you turn an action into a person you insert an extra letter, like this: I swim - I am a swimmer.

Why does "genuinely" sound sound completely different than it's written?
I blame the french.

When does one use ";"?
Essentially it's a break between two sentences that isn't as hard as a period. Here's a good link to explain in detail:
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/semicolons.asp

Frankly, there are so many different people from so many different places speaking so many different shades of English that you can get away with quite a few errors. Most English speakers are used to decoding what people are trying to say. Much of the time that includes other native English speakers.
 
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Why are knicks and knight spelled with "n", wtf?
The "k" in these words are holdovers from Middle English and earlier. There was a lot of Saxon and Scandinavian influence in older English, and the "k" used to be pronounced rather than silent. Knight used to be more like "K'n-ICHT," if that makes sense. I think it all got softened after the Norman conquest.

When do you use two letters instead of one (exp: "success")?
The double-c comes from Latin and tends to follow Latinate rules in words like vaccuum, success, and succinct. Technically both c's are supposed to be pronounced, but almost no one does that. Other double letter follow (and break) a variety of rules. In general they have a slightly longer pronounciation than single letters. Often when you turn an action into a person you insert an extra letter, like this: I swim - I am a swimmer.

Why does "genuinely" sound sound completely different than it's written?
I blame the french.

When does one use ";"?
Essentially it's a break between two sentences that isn't as hard as a period. Here's a good link to explain in detail:
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/semicolons.asp

Frankly, there are so many different people from so many different places speaking so many different shades of English that you can get away with quite a few errors. Most English speakers are used to decoding what people are trying to say. Much of the time that includes other native English speakers.

In short, English is just basically a massive mixture of different languages (Latin being the most popular, after all the majority of Western European languages stemmed from some for of Latin or another).
 
English is just basically a massive mixture of different languages (Latin being the most popular, after all the majority of Western European languages stemmed from some for of Latin or another).
Not only that; it's The Borg of lanuages. Anytime it encounters a new word or concept it doesn't already possess, it instantly assimilates it.
 
English is just basically a massive mixture of different languages (Latin being the most popular, after all the majority of Western European languages stemmed from some for of Latin or another).
Not only that; it's The Borg of lanuages. Anytime it encounters a new word or concept it doesn't already possess, it instantly assimilates it.
My favorite such word is cavalier. COMPLETELY different pronunciation in English from its French origin. "Ka va lee ar" vs "Sha Vel Yay" XD

Like I said, English is a "conquered language", though calling it the "Borg of languages" sounds like a more readily understood analogy.
 
Here's some that a good number of my countrymen routinely get wrong.

Let's prepare for the G.O.A.T - English, Vault 101:

To Too & Two "This is a letter (to) you (two). You have been invited (too)."

There Their & They're "(They're) taking (their) children (there)."

Hint: They sound identical, and the spell checker won't always catch them but if they're used incorrectly, the language police will jump all over you on a message board. ;)
 
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Here's some that a good number of my countrymen routinely get wrong.

Let's prepare for the G.O.A.T - English, Vault 101:

To Too & Two "This is a letter (to) you (two). You have been invited (too)."

There Their & They're "(They're) taking (their) children (there)."

Hint: They sound identical, and the spell checker won't always catch them but if they're used incorrectly, the language police will jump all over you on a message board. ;)
But not before the Fallout hardliners jump you YOU for using a FO3 callback. =D
 
Why are knicks and knight spelled with "n", wtf?
When do you use two letters instead of one (exp: "success")?
Why does "genuinely" sound sound completely different than it's written?
When does one use ";"?

Languages suck ass, and balls.

Can somebody explain to me what the fuck Knicks are?
 
It's short for Knickerbockers, a type of trousers.
"Knickers" in BE usually means panties, though.

Ah, I still don't have British idioms and slang words down. I used to know a British ex-pat though (who I constantly tried to, well you can figure it out). I picked up some words from her, like "trolly" instead of "shopping cart", and bonnet/boot for hood/trunk.
 
There are other explanations and definitions for "knicks", though. The Urban Dictionary is always helpful when it comes to that :D
 
There are other explanations and definitions for "knicks", though. The Urban Dictionary is always helpful when it comes to that :D

Except that I can never take the UD serious because half the writers on there are trolls. It's like Wikipedia if it wasn't heavily moderated.
 
There are other explanations and definitions for "knicks", though. The Urban Dictionary is always helpful when it comes to that :D

Except that I can never take the UD serious because half the writers on there are trolls. It's like Wikipedia if it wasn't heavily moderated.

Yeah, it requires a lot of scepticism, but it's a fun read nonetheless.
 
Boo. Here's the best link to explain in detail:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon
Yeah, that is pretty good. The pictures help the ADD crowd (and Bethesda fans).

In Brit slang "fanny" means crotch, which makes the term "fanny pack" sound funny to them. In the U.S. fanny means butt, so a fanny pack is a small pouch you wear on the back of your belt.

Brits also use the word "pissed" to mean drunk. In the U.S. pissed means angry, as in, "I'm pissed off at you!"

The most annoying thing I see from North Americans is incorrectly substituting "of" in place of "have." For example, "I should of gone to the store," instead of "I should have gone to the store." It looks horrible in writing because it's so simple. It makes you look like you're either really stupid or really careless, or some combination of the two. It's the kind of mistake non-native speakers don't make because they're paying attention to what they're writing and trying to get it right.
 
"Should've" is kinda how it should be said if someone wanted to shorten it, but writing it out that way is definitely wrong. I go to the Urban Dictionary for slang all the time since I over analyze words and their meanings. I am curious about words that sound strange to me for no reason. Some words you say your whole life without thinking too deeply about the meaning. People around here call soft drinks pop usually. I always called it that out of habit until I heard people elsewhere calling it soda and it naturally wore off on me.
 
People around here call soft drinks pop usually. I always called it that out of habit until I heard people elsewhere calling it soda and it naturally wore off on me.
As far as I know, "pop" is a Midwest thing. Everywhere else I've ever been everyone says "soda," and they look at you like you're crazy if you say "pop." I guess when "soda-pop" was shortened, one part of the country went one direction and everyone else in the country went the other direction.
 
Here in Oklahoma people call it pop for the most part. It just varies from state to state really. I'm a soda convert. :)
 
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