The ultimate insane German director is at it again!

Has anyone else seen the trailers for the wad of shit called Bloodrayne? Um...hello? People didn't go to see the last shitty Kevin Sorbo movie when it came out in theaters, and this flick has all the indications of being far, far worse?

The director also said he'd like to do a second BloodRayne set in the Wild West.
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And then after that, House of the Dead 2, on the moon! What a talentless hack.
 
"We really just wanted to make it very primal. In the moments of her blood rage or blood lust it's subconscious because [Rayne] doesn't rationally want to kill to sustain herself. It's very animalistic and very raw. That's one of the reasons I really loved working with Uwe [Boll, director]. He really likes to go to those places.
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This could explain everything: while directing herr Uwe is rather unconscious, all his directions are actually randomly chosen pieces of a delirium... how else could his movies suck to this point?
Oh and where should we put the vampires? We should choose an original location, something that will give the movie some originality... I know! Let's pick Transilvania! Such lack of imagination clearly requires a slow, painful death.
 
Uwe Boll challenges his critics "to put up or shut up !"

Towards the end of the filming of the “Postal” the 5 most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms. As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra / stand-in in “Postal” and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10 bout match. There will be 5 matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the Postal movie. All 5 fights will be televised on the internet and will be covered by international press.
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http://sknr.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=565&Itemid=76

Well, uhm, what else to say...apparently he is already knocked out.

By the way let's see how he will get a positive fucked up game into a negative fuck off movie.
 
So I was reading that article and was real impressed when I saw this:
His last two films, House of the Dead & Alone in the Dark, cost $20 million but they have grossed over $110 million to-date.
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It seemed to go against everything I've ever heard about Uwe Boll's movies completely flopping in theatres. So I decided to check it out myself at BoxOfficeMojo and here's what I found.

Alone in the Dark did indeed cost 20 million dollars to make. BUT its worldwide earnings were a paltry 8 million dollars.

House of the Dead was actually able to pull a profit, costing 12 million to make and earning 13 million worldwide.

So either that is including game sales for the series or the movies had INCREDIBLE DVD sales. I'll gladly punch him in the face though if that's what he wants.
 
Article said:
Dr. Uwe Boll’s invitation to fight and / or appear in his film is extended to all his harshest critics. Roger Avary and Quentin Tarantino are among the most eligible candidates.


The following posters to the IMDb have earned the right to be placed on the list of the most extreme anti-Boll critics and are therefore eligible to enter the contest. Contestants will be chosen to be an extra and physically box Dr. Uwe Boll. *lists 15 IMDb posters*
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That had me laughing to tears. I can just picture this guy watching review sites and setting up a hit list, it's hilarious. I can't decide whether it's petty or just insanity that he'd challenge these random internet people to a boxing match, but it is fucking comedy gold.
 
I can see only one explanation: he plans to have Mike Tyson beat the shit out of them, making them some brain dead veggies and then they'll like his movies :roll: .
 
PhredBean said:
That had me laughing to tears. I can just picture this guy watching review sites and setting up a hit list, it's hilarious. I can't decide whether it's petty or just insanity that he'd challenge these random internet people to a boxing match, but it is fucking comedy gold.
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The likelyhood that these angry Imdbers are children makes it all the more funny.
 
Someone is going to eat Uwe Bolls children

Apparently the fuckhead has challenged some of his critics to a fight. The fact that he challengesf ive people for ten round fights over the period of a couple of days shows that he doesnt know shit about boxing. Hell, Id be happy to teach him a lesson, especially as he apparently hasnt trained in ten years, making him a useless piece of shit.

Also, boxing doesnt seem violent enough. Muay Thai or MMA would be better. A vegetable cant make movies.

If only I had been an active 2005 critic.

http://www.joystiq.com/2006/06/20/boll-adds-something-awful-to-punchout-list/

http://www.gamespot.com/news/6152741.html
 
I didnt find a thread though. Please merge it otherwise.

*edit*

Nevermind, found posts. Delete or merge please.
 
Re: Someone is going to eat Uwe Bolls children

The Overseer said:
Apparently the fuckhead has challenged some of his critics to a fight. The fact that he challengesf ive people for ten round fights over the period of a couple of days shows that he doesnt know shit about boxing. Hell, Id be happy to teach him a lesson, especially as he apparently hasnt trained in ten years, making him a useless piece of shit.
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And I'm clearly out of the top end of the height and weight requirements. I guess he's afraid of getting too hurt. :lol:
 
and here it is: the first match between the worlds least talented director & one of his critics. too bad the critic is a total wuss (but what would you expect from a longhaired fatassed hippy like that)...

first round is totally boring, the second two rounds you see Uwe smashing the sissy pretty nicely.

http://www.kotaku.com/gaming/boxing/clips-uwe-boll-beats-up-critic-in-boxing-match-198932.php

edit: this is supposedly what the guy in the ring wrote about House of the Dead (google translated)
 
Was it a Boll movie? The Experiment was indeed a pretty good flick. Not perfect but at least I scored that chick while watching the movie... back when it was at the cinema years ago... :D
 
So he's more like the Terminator! Or Robocop! Or Hercules! Termorobercules! A tought cunt!
 
Schuljunge said:
uwe boll is like an tank, you can shoot at him with bullets, but you cant stop him.
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Watch me try. You just gotta remember: don't aim for the head, nothing real sensitive in there, try the lower gastrointestinal tract where his brain likely is.

Boll has the mind of a 6 year old - "Well if you dun like my moveh i'll beat you up! so there! *blows raspberry*"

Why someone hasn't kicked him down a flight of stairs yet escapes me. If the rat bastard touches Wolfenstein/Return to Castle Wolfenstein....

The review that SuAside posted reminds me of just how much work Google's translation service needs...
 
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