welsh's Incredible adventures - from cranky women

Who is that anyways?

I know it's the same dude in Azzy's avatar, but I have no freaking clue what game it's from.

An older version of Duke Nukem?
 
Yeah, these aliens:
fo1_re_aliens_s.jpg
 
Ok, to add some seriousness here (while I continue to procrastinate the next chapter of this epic) here's some thought on

-why women are cranky.

(1) you would be too if you were turned into and adult at age 12 because your are bleeding through your vagina, have to suffer cramps and bodily leakage throughout most of your adult life, and that your body goes to shit after menopause.

(2) Men

(3) It goes back to a clash of two inter-related social phenomena-
(A) Women have been the subjugated for ages. The reasons are pretty clear- Women make babies, women have pms, and women are physically weaker. Thus men have usually been the ones to practice the one consistent means of politics throughout the ages- war. It is not surprising, for example that one of the issues that has been behind the rise of women's rights has been abuse from men, often drunk. The Temperance movement in the US led to the women's right's movement. In Africa, the spread of AIDS is often linked to alcoholims in men (who rape and beat the women). The subjugation of women is something that has really only been overcome in the last century, before then women were often treated much like chattel (property) traded and sold through systems of dowry an other rules of maritial property.

If you look at many societies, both modern and primative, one sees an arrange of property being exchanged with the rite of marriage. For an example, see the old John Wayne flick, "The Quiet Man" which concerns primarily the relationship of property and marriage in Ireland. Likewise, if you examine a number of rules of maritial property as well as rules of trusts and estates, you see different rules of law evolving to protect the property interests of women after the death of the husband. However, before that basically all the property of the women were seen as that of the man. Until recently, the idea of spousal rape didn't exist, and the man could even stop a woman from testifying against his criminal behavior. For many women the issue of abortion is not the life of the fetus but the right of the state to determine what they can and cannot do with their bodies. The fact that women have not have voting rights in many countries (not in Switzerland until the 1970s!) until the past century has led to the next question- political empowerment leading to economic empowerment.

This leads to the second phenomena-

(B) despite their subjugation by men, women have, in many ways, been the more powerful gender. Why? Well they generally control the process of baby making. In many households they actually control the allocation of the budget, they generally live longer than men do as well. IN many societies women, through the process of motherhood, have significant sway over their children. For example, in Catholicism, you often see people praying to Mary instead of Jesus (because Jesus being a good son always listens to his mom). There is also the issue of sexuality. Two of the most important revolutions- the French Revolution and the Sepoy Mutiny, were instigated by prostitutes. SHortly before the storming of the Bastille there is historical record that the men who were to storm the Bastille were being chastized by prostitutes for being weak and cowardly. Before the Sepoy mutiny, Indian prostitutes were teasing the men of the British East India Company about how weak they were for having to utilize the new British army cartridges (made with a grease made of both beef adn pork). In otherwords, women have a lot of power between their legs, and men, being creatures often driven by ego, have shown their weakness before pussy.

Thus the clash of values, and perhaps no place is this seen more in marriage. However, it has now begun to creep into the work place (where the battle is over equality in prestige and pay) and even in the bars (where the battle is over suitable mates). Women are finding their power and also, perhaps, their superiority. They are also realizing that they have been denied these rights and are striking out as independent. A person who can show that they are cranky is one who acknowledges that they have power and will not cower to an expectation of submission. It is the expression of disdain and resistance that signifies greater equality, and perhaps even rising superiority. (For more on this see Domination and the Art of Resistance by James Scott).

Spam, you say. Bugger off!
 
The Temperance movement in the US led to the women's right's movement.
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The opposite, IMO. First comes the women's vote, then comes the Temperance movement. Kind of ironic that such a good cause is marred down from the beggining by such a silly one.



If you look at many societies, both modern and primative, one sees an arrange of property being exchanged with the rite of marriage.
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I am reading Chinua Accabe's Things Fall Apart right now. Great book, and the Nigireans (Ibo, methinks, not sure) have a Marrige price. Interesting stuff.....divorce is legal, for instance, as long as the bride's family can give back the beads.

despite their subjugation by men, women have, in many ways, been the more powerful gender.
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No offence to women, but this is mere proporganda and revisionism. Sure both revolts where important, but what of the most important people ever- Muhammed spent most of his time with Iesha, who was 18 when he died and 4 when they where married, Paul & Jesus & St. Augustine did not even have wives, Constantine's mother was Christian, but that is about it. This is about as much bullshit as those crazy revisionist "Alexander the Great was gay" or "Caeser was gay", as both are impossible to know as "gay" and "straight" are modern inventions.
 
ConstipatedCraprunner said:
... "gay" and "straight" are modern inventions.
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Actually, sexuality is not an invention nor an option. People who say that those who "choose" to be gay are evil are full of it. At what point did you make the conscious decision to be straight? Never? Because I know I never told myself, "Gee, I'm going to fall in love with and be more sexually attracted to guys." It just naturally happened that way.
Modern inventions my ass.
Maybe they were gay. We'll never know. Maybe they knew they would be chastised for their feelings towards the same gender, much as young men and women are now. In the middle of the last century, many gay men married women and even had children to deny their homosexuality. Maybe they did that throughout history as well...
 
It's not modern anyway. Animals are 'gay' as some fuck others in the ass. Our ancestors probably fucked everyone, including same-sex and children.

Greeks were probably the first society I can come up with that had homosexuality as a 'normal' thing in public, I don't think of that as modern.

Also all the excuses of why women are cranky are silly. Men shouldn't have to put up with all that shit just because they are women. Also all the general conception that men are stupid, sex-obsessed animals is pretty silly too. It's like if I said all women are whiny fat fucks who'd do anything for enough money. Just more bullshit to wash over your brainless zombie-like state of acceptance.
 
WaterGirl said:
ConstipatedCraprunner said:
... "gay" and "straight" are modern inventions.
Click to expand...
Actually, sexuality is not an invention nor an option. People who say that those who "choose" to be gay are evil are full of it. At what point did you make the conscious decision to be straight? Never? Because I know I never told myself, "Gee, I'm going to fall in love with and be more sexually attracted to guys." It just naturally happened that way.
Modern inventions my ass.
Maybe they were gay. We'll never know. Maybe they knew they would be chastised for their feelings towards the same gender, much as young men and women are now. In the middle of the last century, many gay men married women and even had children to deny their homosexuality. Maybe they did that throughout history as well...
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:roll:

You're talking past each other here.

Homosexuality, like meggy mentioned, is a natural urge, which is seperate from the urge to reproduce. ape societies use it as a way to settle disputes. Human beings...maybe it had the same intention? Who can tell? The sociological structures grew too complex to split it properly.

And that's what you're talking about. Homosexuality has always been there.

What CC means is that the stamp "homo" or the stamp "straight" as two seperate entities is a modern inventioned.

The Greeks, like Alexander, did not use these stamps. You weren't "a homo" or "a heterosexual". Those things simply didn't exist. Everyone, at least in the upper-classes, was a more or less practicing bisexual.

In this sense, to say that "Alexander the great was a fag" is reading history backwards. If you do so, you're using a moderm term and even a modern concept to describe someone who's been dead for more than 2 millenia, basically applying our way of thinking as if it has existed forever. The idea "fag"/"homo" did not exist, as such Alexander couldn't have been a homo, even though he practiced what we would now call homosexual behaviour

This is a common mistake in looking at history, and one of the reasons nobody except midievalist scholars get "the Dark Ages" (to name but one example)
 
Greeks were probably the first society I can come up with that had homosexuality as a 'normal' thing in public, I don't think of that as modern.
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The Persians where known for keeping a harem of very young boys. They where actually into it alot.....kind of disgusting. Montezuma was known for cannabalizing the young boys he sodomized.

Greeks did it for diffirent reasons. The primary being that it is actualy a fairly effective way to limit teen pregnancy before the invention of oral sex. Typicall homosexual relations where strictly between master and pupal before the Hellanistic age, save out of Thebes, the literal homeland of sodomy. Secondly it was because in traditional Greek society women where fairly literally nothing (this could be argued to have continued into the Byzantine Era, but I completely disagree......people who belive the practice of the Bhurka and the Harem both come from pre-Islamic times are just Muslim apologists). Thirdly it was for pruposes of moral. For instance, in the Sacred band you would place lovers next to eachother so they would fight better.

The Greeks, like Alexander, did not use these stamps. You weren't "a homo" or "a heterosexual". Those things simply didn't exist. Everyone, at least in the upper-classes, was a more or less practicing bisexual.
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Less common in Rome, possibly because of misunderstood Judaic influence in the higher levels. Fairly interesting, that.

Caeser though is an exception. He was known as "the husband of every wife and the wife of every husband".
 
ConstinpatedCraprunner said:
Thirdly it was for pruposes of moral. For instance, in the Sacred band you would place lovers next to eachother so they would fight better.
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I thought it first of all became popular because of 2 heroes were lovers and it caught on from there. You'd probably get a similair thing happen if a lot of celebrities were gay as people seem to follow such up-standing members of society.

I also thought that it later developed into more of a pedophillac (is that a word) nature as young boys would be brought into bath houses and fucked basically. I think this could be a reason for the small, hairless genitals found in some art but I'm just pulling that out of my ass B)

I'm not much of a historian though compared to you ccr, plz don't kill me D:

This is a fun thread. Homosexulaity and things we dislike about women. Seems like a recipe for a gay orgy ^-^
 
I thought it first of all became popular because of 2 heroes were lovers and it caught on from there. You'd probably get a similair thing happen if a lot of celebrities were gay as people seem to follow such up-standing members of society.
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Possible. My understanding of Greek history gets alot better after Constantine, it should be said, so you could be right here.

I also thought that it later developed into more of a pedophillac (is that a word) nature as young boys would be brought into bath houses and fucked basically. I think this could be a reason for the small, hairless genitals found in some art but I'm just pulling that out of my ass B)
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Actually, a fairly elegent explanation, probably better then the stopping teen pregnancy one. However, most homosexual relationships where student-pupil, and I belive most pupils where somewhat older, and in no instance did it go beyond the pupil's marrige.
 
Since you guys won't let the story go away, I will tell you more. I will speak of what happened on that shocking night, the visions I saw that have stayed with me ever since. Those image are burned on my psyche. But more than any image, it was what I learned that night that continues to torment me, to haunt my evenings.

Throughout that ride in the limo, as I listened to those personal consultants of food, fashion, decor, grooming and the culture, not once was my blindfold removed. Not once did I see where this journey led. Had I known, perhaps I might have resisted.

They had given me not a shred of clothes and I was still covered with some kind of jelly like slime. I was not unlike a fresh baby from the womb. I was more akin to a child than I knew, for before me was a new world, albeit a frightening world, that I had never known nor had wished to experience. Yet there I was, an innocent, a victim of circumstance.

"Gosh," I thought, "I'm like Neo in some homo matrix."

I felt hands grab at my body and pick me up, and for a moment I felt the chill of the San Francisco evening air buffet my body. I could hear the sounds of a fog horn and the sounds of vessels. Perhaps I was near the port. In the background, I could hear the pounding of that gay techno beat, the rhythmic, so strange and hypnotic. So strange yet so alluring.

No wonder so many girls liked to dance at gay bars.

I could hear the murmur of men, speaking. I heard one say "That's the sacrifice."

And another say, "You think they could have picked a better piece of meat."

And a third said, "I thought we were going to get Chip and Dales and what do we get! Fresh fruit!"

Then I was brought indoors and carried, to where it got warmer, and I heard a metallic creak and felt my ass hit something hard, and I felt a sharp pain in my ass. "Ouch!" I cursed.

"Oops sorry. Must be splinters."

The blindfold was removed and I found myself sitting in a large white car like the kind you find in an amusement part. It was long and white and when I looked behind me, I saw that it was had a tale. It took a moment for me to realize what it was. A giant sperm, at the end of the rail the head of a penis.

And in front of me what I took to be the entrance to a fun house ride, I saw what looked like the biggest ass in the world. A huge pale, flabby ass with hairs that grew like bushes on the side of rock. And the track I was on ran straight into the crack of the ass.

Above the crack there was a sign- Big Gay Al's Big Gay Ride through Big Gay History!

I was still uncertain. Perhaps someone had slipped me a drug in my drink and this was some weird homo-erotic dream.

Subconsciously I came to a sudden truth. What is a gay man- a man who can look at another man's big fat hairy ass and see love.

Before me was a man in black leather, his face covered by a bondage mask.

"You are the sacrifice." Said bondage boy.

"What the fuck are you talking about you mother fucker." I replied.

"You are the sacrifice." He repeated. "Through your sacrifice we appease those that fear us. We live up to the expectations of the heterosexual world. You are the sacrifice of that world. Through you the straight nightmare is realized."

"I don't understand."

"Much of the straight world sees us as a threat, a deviant lifestyle, a society corrupt that wants nothing but to fuck straight ass. They fear us, they fear we might want to suck their cocks. They fear our prescence, our contributions to art and music and poetry. They fear our trendy clothing, and our fashionable restaurants, they fear our taste and appreciation of finer things. They fear our higher education and understanding of theatre. So they demonize us."

"So it's not true?"

"Of course not. With your fashion sense? Plleeasseeee! I would rather fuck a duck."

I was uncertain where he was getting at. But being that I was still tied up, I had one major concern.

"So." I asked, hopefully, "You aren't going to fuck me in the ass?"

"No, we will. We all will. And by doing so we give physical to their imaginations. We live the heterosexual fantasy of the homosexual monster."

The cart began to move and I had time time for one quick question to the answer that had begun to burn into my mind.

I quickly shouted out. "I don't understand? With all your knowledge of fashion and food and decor and culture, with all your appreciation of what was trendy and contemporary, you fags could get so much fucking pussy. What's with that?"

Bondage boy laughed, "In our opinion, ass is better."

And I thought of what my old grandma used to say, "Opinions and assholes, everyone's got one."

But if so, the question remained? Why be gay when you can get so much snatch?

But I didn't have time to question further. As I decided into the darkness of that giant ass, Bondage Boy called after me, "Learn you, of all we have given you straights."

I will never be able to retell all I saw. It was the history of gayness, from before the dawn of man. It was some strange twisted sex filled fun house, a house of horrors to my heterosexual life style.

I saw single celled organisms trying to mate until they split off into genders. I saw homosexuality in the wild kingdom, from fucking fish to dinosaurs. I saw the first mammels, wolves and lions trying to fuck each other in the ass. Homo monkeys, our ancestors. Gorrillas sticking banannas were no bananna should go.

And then first man, primative, slope headed neanderthals blowing each other, fucking each other grunting.

I learned that the idea of trust was discovered when homosexual cannibals negotiated 69.

And as man evolved he continued his quest for ass. The ancient Egyptians, Babylonians, the Greeks.

Socrates asked Plato, "And why does man crave cock? Is it the taste?" as Plato went down on Socrates in the midst of a Greek orgy. But Plato didn't answer, his mouth was full as he tried to stifle the need to gag.

And so Socrates framed the question that I had yet to answer- "Why would man crave the taste of cock."

The Greeks glorified gayness in Achilles, their great warrior, and became realized in history as Alexander's army fuck ass across the ancient world. The Romans did the same. Hadrian fucked ass across England. Caligula screwing everything and everyone, women, men, boys, animals.

Julius Ceaser banged Augustus, conquering him in his toga, and he called to Brutus, "Et tu Brutus?" And so Brutus came, later to stab him in the back, the bitch.

I saw hordes of Roman centurians humping turning into Catholic priests, among them Saint Augustine. Popes, Cardinals, Kings of Europe, conquerors and generals. It was not merely in Europe but in China, and the Middle East. Kings of England, Byzantium, Spain, China, Afghanistan, Africa and the Aztecs.

And the women?

Richard the Lionhearted and the king of France, Churchill, Constantine, Frederick the Great, Montezuma adorned in gold, J Edgar Hoover in woman's underwear, Ernst Roehm. There were fierce Janissaries and smelly dirty and vile Knight Templars engaged in acts of sodomy I had never seen. War became an orgy of sodomy.

If it were only politicans I could have stomached it, because politicians are always trying to fuck you in the ass.

But it was artists and scholars and leaders. There were gay poets and dramatists, painters, and scholars. Shakespeare screwing Marlowe, Lord Byron, Da Vinci fucking Michelangelo, Francis Bacon, Keynes and Melville. Emerson and Whitman in the woods, Saint-Saens and Tchaikovsky on the piano.

It was the history of the human race revealed in a way I could hardly muster. So much gayness, so much buttfucking. Indeed, the culture of our race was found in the crack of an ass.

I saw contemporary priests fucking little boys, I saw rock stars pick up teens, I saw homophobes beat gays in the street and stroke off to their private fag fantasies. Celebrities- Jean Costeau, Arthur C. Clarke, James Dean. I saw the religious right and the repubican party.

I saw it all, I saw too much.

For one of the few things that truely disgusts the heterosexual is the act of homosexual sex.

Through it all I screamed, fearful, terrified. It was too much. Too much knowledge, to much revealed. It was the inner truth of mankind. That within our culture lived this hidden other, this shadowy deviant that we shamed into the closet. I screamed for there was a truth of my fellow man revealed, and it shamed me for my role in it, for my fear of it.

And then it all came to a sudden end. Suddenly there was a blinding light and found the cart had suddenly to a stop.

I was on a stage and round this stage, throngs of young adult gays swaying to the crazy techno beat. At first I couldn’t make out the music, but then it dawned on me, a funked up techno Cher was performing to his crowd.

And this shocked me. For if the gay crowd had such bad taste, how else might I have been deceived. Something was wrong with the story I had been told. I heard it in Cher’s voice.

"Do you believe in Love?" She asked me.

Not gay love, not this way baby.

They took me from the cart and they tied me down. I was still to shocked to struggle, the sound of the gay techno throbbing through my head. It was like some gay Indiana Jones flick, I was in the jungle. The entire rave stage had been set as some jungle sacrifice. I had seen the set, but couldn’t place it.

They had my right hand tied down and my legs strapped, my shiny white ass in the sky when I got a glimpse of what was behind me.

King Kong.

A gorilla. A giant ape. It was Homo Kong, King Dong with a giant phallus emerging from between his big black hairy legs.

It was back to nature, to the days of gorillas. It was modern me

We were back to our primitive selves.

I was Jessica Lange in the crappy remake. A crappy mechanical ape with a giant phallus was about to plunge into my virgin ass.

And what a phallus! It was bigger than any black guy’s in gym class.

In the gay crowd was shouting “Dong! Dong! Dong!”

I struggled to resist as they tied my last hand down. I screamed my resistance, but couldn’t even hear my own voice as the Rave crowd chanted, now driven wild with the drugs and techno, as their mob psyche too over.

This was worse than King Kong. This was Deliverance and I had become Ned Beatty.

I screamed for it was all I could do. Even as I knew that giant phallus was nearing my slicked up butt cheeks, I could almost feel the head of it against my butt. It vibrated and I could feel that on my ass cheeks.

Bondage Boy was there, and he had a whip.

“Open up, open up or I’ll whip you.” He said.

But I resisted and felt the sting.

I still resisted. No matter what I had seen, no matter how much I understood that the history of mankind was gay, no matter how much the gay lifestyle had shaped our culture and civilization, I would not give my ass to a mechanical gorillas dick.

I had my pride.

I was whipped again, and again, and with each whip, with each bit of pain, I knew my resistance would fall.

And then.

Darkness.

The sound died, the lights came off and the room went dark. The Rave crowd stilled, a hush coming over them, uncertain. Afraid.

Waiting for something to happening, certain something would but unsure how to handle it.

Then an explosion from above. Loud and powerful the ceiling came down into the room. Flares falling, light and shadow, the sound of gunfire like fire crackers, and I could vaguely pick out shapes rappelling from the ceiling down into the room.

Figures in body tight black leather and black high heels.

I was too surprised to scream out. They rappelled down, and the gay crowd scattered. Bondage Boy tried to resist, but he was knocked aside. I felt hands at my side, beginning to untie me as I continued to scream out.

And then I felt a stinging on my ass and a voice in my ear said, “Do you like to eat cock or pussy.”

And deep down inside I knew the truth.

“PUSSY! I EAT PUSSY!!!!!”’ As if this truth would save me.

“Then come with us and save your ass.” Said the voice.

And as they buddle me up like a baby, and then felt myself pulled into the sky, I looked back to see what had rescued me.

And I noticed something I hadn’t seen before.

Breasts. Leather covered breasts. Big 36 inch titties. I had never wanted so much to grope a breast.

The women had arrived.

Next part- the need of women
 
Hey, you have to edit some parts- or else you were still a teenager after the Matrix came out... Or am I missing the point?
 
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