SarcasticGoodGuy
*R O T T E N*
I like ranting about stuff.
Romance:
If Bethesda want to attempt at giving you a spouse, maybe they shouldn't let you go around and bang singers and reporters 3 days after they're killed. Seriously this shit makes no sense. And to get people to like you, you have to do the most random shit. Pick locks, help farmers, take drugs, don't take drugs- it's nothing to do with dialogue except one final RNG speech check.
Think of the children: "Hey Shaun, you know how your DNA was used to create synths? Well, funny story. See I met this lounge singer called Magnolia... and well I found out she was a synth... and this was after we umm..."
Fuck this game. Next time Bethesda make an open world game I'm getting two £20s and burning them.
Companions:
People often say, "ooh but the companions are so much better in F4."
But are they? They look like all the other potato-faced fuckers inhabiting this poorly optimized shithole. But this isn't about their looks, it's about their personalities. And boy has Emil outdone himself on this one. Oh, and the voice acting, but that really only applies to Cait.
Piper: so there’s a reporter that lives in the Jewel of the Commonwealth (gotta love that shithole) with her little sister Nat. They have a functioning printing press and there are plenty of typewriters lying around but they handwrite their newspapers. OK. She meets a mysterious vault dweller with a lost child and immediately decides to ditch her own small child to go on adventures with the dweller. In exchange for a 1 on 1 interview of course. OK. She enjoys it when the vault dweller picks locks and acts nice to others. Her personality can be summed up with one word– bubbly. She makes occasional sarcastic remarks (I can respect that one) and can become romantically involved with the dweller. Hey, if they can pick master locks, just think about what they can do to her.
Hancock: he’s the brother to the mayor of Diamond City. And he’s a ghoul. So his brother hates ghouls and is a human. How did Hancock become a ghoul? A radiation drug. A fucking drug. This shit is so stupid. He is the mayor of a town called Goodneighbour, but don’t worry– he’ll ditch so long as you complete 2 quests for him. He approves of taking drugs but likes to help the innocent. Oh well, I’m sure there will be an evil companion eventually.
Maccready: I think that’s how you spell his name but I’m not sure. I’ve never really spent time with him because he is one of the most boring characters I have ever met in a video game. He’s a merc with no personality whatsoever. Please tell me some of his characteristics and give several examples for each. He is the same annoying shit from Fallout 3, only now he’s grown up. His wife died Boone Boone Boone and he has a sick child. OK. If you want this professional mercenary on your team, you’ll need a one time payment of… 1000 caps. He can’t be that good can he? That’s like, what– 20 colas? Oh yeah and you can bang him if you do things he likes such as : helping others. Why? He’s a fucking mercenary.
Paladin Dense: the cliché soldier. His friend died. Oh no. Then you find out he’s a robot– and his group hate robots. Woah what an arc! Except Bethesda don’t bother to change his lines afterwards. They change the little affinity bar to make him like helping robots but that’s it. Give me some characteristics and examples, because I can only think of one. Stupid. Some civilian kills more ghouls than him so he lets them come on a mission to gather technology. He immediately trusts them and allows them entry into the once reclusive Brotherhood of Steel. Oh and you can bang him and he says awkward lines after sex.
Cait: easily my least favourite companion. So she’s an “Irish” woman that lives in an arena where all of the patrons are hostile to newcomers. She is a drug addict and a brawler. She likes helping others for money, and likes taking drugs. But if you cure her of drugs she dislikes you taking them. Woah, what an arc. The problem with Cait is that she sounds horrible– her accent is possibly the shittiest one I’ve ever heard. I can’t stand listening to her. It is genuinely hard for me. You can romance her but I’m not sure why you would want to.
Curie: a Miss Nanny robot with consciousness(?). She has likes and dislikes, yet again helping people is a like, and is involved in a quest. She makes a cure for every disease known to man. Wow. Shame there’s only one and she can’t recreate it. Convenient in fact. Heck, you can’t even try to recreate it. Oh well, all that knowledge gone saving a ginger. You might have been under the impression that AI need to be fucking huge in Fallout but apparently they don’t. Now Curie might not be an AI, but the next companion will prove my point.
Codsworth: a robot that shows emotion and is the size of a beach ball. Crazy how that works isn’t it? Anyway he’s voiced by Stephen Russel so that’s a plus. But his entire “character” is fucking stupid– a robot butler that you own leaves you if you don’t help people? Fuck off, I’m all for C&C but my robot butler should do whatever the fuck I tell it to do. How has it developed a mind of its own?
X6-eighty great: another robot. He likes killing things. Oh thank God. But he's a robot so he has no personality.
Deacon: some obnoxious spy guy whose wife was a robot. Damn Bethesda, really like these robots don't we? His voice is... alright I guess, I just don't know what they were going for. He doesn't have a quest and likes it... he likes it when you help others. FFS.
Preston Garvey: with his suave voice, casual demeanor, amazing looks, great fashion sense and taste in weapons- who wouldn't join the minutemen? Seriously though fuck this guy. Endless radiant quests to help some potato-faced fuckers and their shacks that look like they were built by an autistic minecraft lets player. So his town was massacred and he joined up with some potato-faced fuckers who go around Diamond City and up north because some junkie told them to? And this horrific experience gives him depression. Good. I hope he slits.
Dogmeat: there are no sex mods for DM/SS yet so he's pretty useless.
Strong: he proves that Bethesda are racist towards super mutants. They're fueling the unfair stereotype that all super mutants are violence-loving brutes and it has to stop. #SayNoToRacism
Oh and as for the "character" he seems pretty chill around those he has a desire to kill.
Romance:
If Bethesda want to attempt at giving you a spouse, maybe they shouldn't let you go around and bang singers and reporters 3 days after they're killed. Seriously this shit makes no sense. And to get people to like you, you have to do the most random shit. Pick locks, help farmers, take drugs, don't take drugs- it's nothing to do with dialogue except one final RNG speech check.
Think of the children: "Hey Shaun, you know how your DNA was used to create synths? Well, funny story. See I met this lounge singer called Magnolia... and well I found out she was a synth... and this was after we umm..."
Fuck this game. Next time Bethesda make an open world game I'm getting two £20s and burning them.
Companions:
People often say, "ooh but the companions are so much better in F4."
But are they? They look like all the other potato-faced fuckers inhabiting this poorly optimized shithole. But this isn't about their looks, it's about their personalities. And boy has Emil outdone himself on this one. Oh, and the voice acting, but that really only applies to Cait.
Piper: so there’s a reporter that lives in the Jewel of the Commonwealth (gotta love that shithole) with her little sister Nat. They have a functioning printing press and there are plenty of typewriters lying around but they handwrite their newspapers. OK. She meets a mysterious vault dweller with a lost child and immediately decides to ditch her own small child to go on adventures with the dweller. In exchange for a 1 on 1 interview of course. OK. She enjoys it when the vault dweller picks locks and acts nice to others. Her personality can be summed up with one word– bubbly. She makes occasional sarcastic remarks (I can respect that one) and can become romantically involved with the dweller. Hey, if they can pick master locks, just think about what they can do to her.
Hancock: he’s the brother to the mayor of Diamond City. And he’s a ghoul. So his brother hates ghouls and is a human. How did Hancock become a ghoul? A radiation drug. A fucking drug. This shit is so stupid. He is the mayor of a town called Goodneighbour, but don’t worry– he’ll ditch so long as you complete 2 quests for him. He approves of taking drugs but likes to help the innocent. Oh well, I’m sure there will be an evil companion eventually.
Maccready: I think that’s how you spell his name but I’m not sure. I’ve never really spent time with him because he is one of the most boring characters I have ever met in a video game. He’s a merc with no personality whatsoever. Please tell me some of his characteristics and give several examples for each. He is the same annoying shit from Fallout 3, only now he’s grown up. His wife died Boone Boone Boone and he has a sick child. OK. If you want this professional mercenary on your team, you’ll need a one time payment of… 1000 caps. He can’t be that good can he? That’s like, what– 20 colas? Oh yeah and you can bang him if you do things he likes such as : helping others. Why? He’s a fucking mercenary.
Paladin Dense: the cliché soldier. His friend died. Oh no. Then you find out he’s a robot– and his group hate robots. Woah what an arc! Except Bethesda don’t bother to change his lines afterwards. They change the little affinity bar to make him like helping robots but that’s it. Give me some characteristics and examples, because I can only think of one. Stupid. Some civilian kills more ghouls than him so he lets them come on a mission to gather technology. He immediately trusts them and allows them entry into the once reclusive Brotherhood of Steel. Oh and you can bang him and he says awkward lines after sex.
Cait: easily my least favourite companion. So she’s an “Irish” woman that lives in an arena where all of the patrons are hostile to newcomers. She is a drug addict and a brawler. She likes helping others for money, and likes taking drugs. But if you cure her of drugs she dislikes you taking them. Woah, what an arc. The problem with Cait is that she sounds horrible– her accent is possibly the shittiest one I’ve ever heard. I can’t stand listening to her. It is genuinely hard for me. You can romance her but I’m not sure why you would want to.
Curie: a Miss Nanny robot with consciousness(?). She has likes and dislikes, yet again helping people is a like, and is involved in a quest. She makes a cure for every disease known to man. Wow. Shame there’s only one and she can’t recreate it. Convenient in fact. Heck, you can’t even try to recreate it. Oh well, all that knowledge gone saving a ginger. You might have been under the impression that AI need to be fucking huge in Fallout but apparently they don’t. Now Curie might not be an AI, but the next companion will prove my point.
Codsworth: a robot that shows emotion and is the size of a beach ball. Crazy how that works isn’t it? Anyway he’s voiced by Stephen Russel so that’s a plus. But his entire “character” is fucking stupid– a robot butler that you own leaves you if you don’t help people? Fuck off, I’m all for C&C but my robot butler should do whatever the fuck I tell it to do. How has it developed a mind of its own?
X6-eighty great: another robot. He likes killing things. Oh thank God. But he's a robot so he has no personality.
Deacon: some obnoxious spy guy whose wife was a robot. Damn Bethesda, really like these robots don't we? His voice is... alright I guess, I just don't know what they were going for. He doesn't have a quest and likes it... he likes it when you help others. FFS.
Preston Garvey: with his suave voice, casual demeanor, amazing looks, great fashion sense and taste in weapons- who wouldn't join the minutemen? Seriously though fuck this guy. Endless radiant quests to help some potato-faced fuckers and their shacks that look like they were built by an autistic minecraft lets player. So his town was massacred and he joined up with some potato-faced fuckers who go around Diamond City and up north because some junkie told them to? And this horrific experience gives him depression. Good. I hope he slits.
Dogmeat: there are no sex mods for DM/SS yet so he's pretty useless.
Strong: he proves that Bethesda are racist towards super mutants. They're fueling the unfair stereotype that all super mutants are violence-loving brutes and it has to stop. #SayNoToRacism
Oh and as for the "character" he seems pretty chill around those he has a desire to kill.
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