At The Foot Of The Ladder (this is no fan art)

[alec]

Sheesh...

I shouldn't have drank that much whisky last night...

Got out of bed way too late.

Anyway, here is the beginning.

The title will no doubt change sometime soon, but I'm still thinking about a more suitable one, so I'll leave the old one for now.

Also: I don't have a clue whether I'll be able to fill 200 pages with this story. I've got a lot of cool ideas and a pretty solid plot, but it doesn't look like enough material for a 200-pager. If at one point, I notice that I'll only be able to fill, let's say, 120 pages with this story, I'll probably change my pace to something a little more bearable, 'cause what I did today really takes a whole lot of time. I barely managed to eat something today.

On first glance, this'll look like a children's book, and hey: maybe it is, but some elements and some contents will not be very child-friendly. Just you wait and see.

These first pages are all part of the...

_____

PROLOOG (PROLOGUE)

Dit verhaal gaat over een meisje dat vriendschap sluit met een ruimtewezentje.

(This is a story about a young girl who becomes best friends with a little alien.)

_____

Het gaat over beschavingen die zomaar, van de ene op de andere dag, van de kaart worden geveegd ...

(It's about civilizations that, all of a sudden, cease to exist ...)

_____

... en over auto's die op water rijden in plaats van op benzine.

(... and about cars that run on water instead of gasoline.)

Ik vind niks uit.

(I'm not making this up.)

_____

Het meisje heet Cassandra.
Ze is 7 jaar oud en ze is mijn dochter.

(The little girl is called Cassandra.
She's 7 years old and she's my daughter.)

Ze is genoemd naar een Trojaanse prinses die in staat was om de toekomst te voorspellen, maar daar helaas niemand van kon overtuigen.

(She was named after a Trojan princess who was able to predict the future, but who couldn't convince others of believing what she knew to be true.)

Ik stel me dikwijls de vraag of de naam die we bij onze geboorte krijgen, uiteindelijk bepaalt wie we zullen worden in dit leven. Net zoals ik me dikwijls afvraag of er echt zoiets als toeval bestaat.

(I often wonder whether the name that you are given at birth defines who you will become in life. Or whether coincidence really exist.)

Misschien mag ik van geluk spreken dat mijn ouders niets originelers konden bedenken dan Tom.

(I just might be lucky that my parents couldn't think of anything more original than Tom.)

_____

That's it for day one. Bear in mind that the text will most certainly alter at one point or another. The drawings won't (even though I'm not that content about how some of them turned out).

And now: off to bed.

 

[VirtualAlex]

My mouth is watering in anticipation.

 

[Wooz]

Slowly, slowly, you'll rip the zipper off.

 

[alec]

Aww, man, fuck this... this story sucks. I've been working on it since 11 this morning and I fucking hate it. Plus: I hate drawing semi-realistic characters, I fucking hate those, they're only so many ways of portraying such characters in a semi-realistic environment: standing, walking, running, sitting ... Boring.

I was going to tell a little bit about Cassandra's mother and how she died (cancer), and then I was going to tell why the narrator never married her or lived together with her via a very simple, small tale of a dogfaced boy and a girl with a catface:

Which is simple enough, right? Wrong! I fucking hate those pictures. And those greytones ... ugh! More black and white, peh-lease.

And after that I was going to get to the point where the narrator notices how his daughter, Cassandra, isn't feeling too well, but she's not sick and she doesn't want to talk about it. Until, one day, she asks her dad if she can talk with him.

So her dad, the narrator, says: "Sure, what do you want to talk about?"
And Cassandra says: "About the past two weeks. Something really strange happened and since then I've been seeing ghosts everywhere."

Don't worry, though, because these so-called ghosts, they're only metaphorical, they're not real, they're fake. All she really wants to say is that she's really, really scared of certain things in the real world.
So her dad wants to know why, but Cassandra says she finds that sort of hard to explain. It's a really weird tale and she doesn't know where to begin. So her dad says: "Start at the beginning. I find that always does the trick."
And that's where the story about her encounter with the little alien begins. (And the end of the prologue.)

But gosh... All that talk and all those drawings just to get the tale going... It's boring me to death. And those stupid human characters... Awww... How I hate them... Especially that little girl with the white eyes... Someone should just off that little cunt...

So now I've wasted 2 days on something that I already hate and should continue to do for another 50 days. That's going to drive me insane. I'll start dreaming about and wake up, soaking wet.

Over to plan B.

What's plan B?

I dunno.

Shoot me.

 

[Per]

I don't like the meta framing device where this "alec" person wants to be shot. Get on with the ghosts 'n' aliens kthx.

 

[DirtyDreamDesigner]

What's plan B?

Ritalin?

 

[alec]

I don't like the meta framing device where this "alec" person wants to be shot.

Hehe, that would be too Barthelme-esque for a man of my character. But you could interpret it that way, couldn't you?

A day of rest because our beloved (and my personal hero) Kurt Vonnegut died.

I am heart-broken.

________________________________________________

EDIT:

Remember my bean-shaped character?

I bought new pen nibs and I think I've got him right this time.

 

[Muff]

Good work alec, hey have you got your pm priv's back or your email sorted yet?

 

[alec]

Bumpety-bump!

Page from my sketchbook:

 

[monsharen]

Colors?! Or I mean, more than two colors!

I like. But before, you said something about having a hard time (boring was it?) painting the same old figures again, and again, and again. Why not mix them as you like. Make it weirder. Make it a piece of art. If you feel like drawing them as dogs. Draw them as dogs for one page. Then jump back as soon as you get tired of that or whateva. Let you body decide where you want to go (lyrics by the ark). Ok, that was gay. But it's ok! If only for one day.

 

[Heathcliff]

Alright, you friggin' mongrels, this is alec time! Listen up! W00t!

Some of you might, and some of you might not know that alec is in fact a distinguished author in real life. That's right: I write. Just about anything, really. I've published two volumes of poetry (awarded with prizes, by the way) and a novel which kinda sorta sucked because I was too young to make any sense. I've been a journalist for the Justice Department of Belgium and I've contributed to numerous publications. I'm big in a small way. Yeah, that's right: I'm more than a creep and a self-declared foot-fetishist. I actually do stuff, contrary to many others on these boards.

Since November 2004 I've got a new contract with my publisher. He paid me 3000 euros in advance. For a new novel. Needless to say I used that money to pay for drugs, booze and whores (with delicious feet), but lately my publisher has been nagging my head off about that new book. He wants some result. He wants copy, dawgunnit. He wants a potential bestseller that will rock his arse off. And his cock. If he's got one of those, that is.

I started writing a novel in the summer of 2006, but seeing I didn't really like it (it was so experimental) and being down and depressed and drunk most of the time, I deleted it in January 2007. Trust me: that was a wise decision. No one would have given a flying fuck about the book. Nevertheless, today it's April 6th and since I don't have the 3000 euros anymore, I've got to do something quickly. ('Quickly' was the most important word in that sentence.) Even if I don't come up with a potential bestseller, I have to come up with something, some sort of project, to keep my publisher content. So I'm going to do a 'Perec'. Right before his death, Georges Perec, one of the best French writers ever, tried to write a novel in only 52 days. He died before he could finish it, though, but his scheme of writing a book in merely 52 days became quite famous and is well-documented.

Wooz, our beloved and - might I say - very talented friend has given me the green light on this project of mine. Beginning on the 10th of April, good ol' wishy-washy alec, your's truly, will try to write a 200 page novel in a mere 52 days. Ridiculous? Of course. But nonetheless, I will try it and you mongrels will be my witnesses.

What will this novel be about? About myself, of course. What did you expect? I will try to fill 200 pages with the exciting adventures that have taken place between the end of December 2006 and the end of March 2007. A turbulent period in my life, mind you. A period of emo, depression, loss and heart-ache, but also a period of lust, drug abuse, suicidal drinking and foot worship the likes you've never seen before.

I will start this ludicrous project of mine on Tuesday the 10th of April 2007 because I promised my publisher I'd send him a book on the first of June 2007, and that leaves me exactly 52 days to accomplish this impossible task. 52 days. Perec. Remember?

Since it is practically impossible to write 200 pages of literature in a mere 52 days, I have decided to do a heavily illustrated novel, illustrated by myself by the way, so that it will be easier to fill those 200 pages.

Since it would be insane to try and fill a 200 pager with realistic drawings, I have decided to use one of my favourite characters to be the protagonist of this book. Meet my bean-shaped alter-ego:

This character will depict good ol' wishy-washy alec. And all other characters in the book will have, more or less, the exact same shape. Stupid? Judge later. I might have lost 50% of my self-esteem during the last few months, the remaining 50% outweighs most human's self-esteem. So, fuck yes, I can do this. And I'll prove it. Starting on the 10th of April, I will publish, ON A DAILY BASIS, a new chapter of my exciting new novel. And after only 52 days I will send that manuscript to my publisher and see whether he wants to publish it or not.

Awesome! Indeed.

A few remarks on this insane project of mine:

[1] I am writing the original text in Dutch, since I'm Flemish and Dutch is my native language. I will translate the text in English for you mongrels, but do not expect it to be world literature. I am still not as fluent in English as I am in Dutch, so bear that in mind. It will be comprehensible, though. Trust me.
[2] Do not hesitate to post your comments in this thread. In fact, I would highly appreciate your personal comments. I will try to make this project as attractive and interesting as possble, but do not expect any wonders. I only will have 52 days to complete it. Be reasonable.
[3] Although this project of mine is no fan-art, Wooz has given me the green light in publishing this project on these boards. Fallout will most certainly appear at some point in this project, but do not expect more than a mere reference of some sort. This project will deal with me and my life in the first place. That should be interesting enough, though.
[4] The chapters will not appear in chronological order. That is because that's my way of working. I always start with the chapter that I want to write most of all and so on. Then again, all chapters will, more or less, be seperate unities. Anecdotal. I trust no-one will really give a shit about the chronology in the long run. It'll make sense. I usually organize the chapters afterwards.
[5] For the religious, moral types amongst you: expect pornographic, unholy contents. My bean-shaped alter-ego will fuck bean-shaped gals. He will curse the heavens and play with himself whilst looking at porn. He will utter things that you do not like. Deal with it. Wooz agreed on this project, so so should you.
[6] There will be a lot of illustrations in this thread. That means it'll get heavy on some of you mongrel's computers. Most probably, this'll become as heavy as the "Who do you think is most sexy/no nudity thread". Bear that in mind when you click this thread.
[7] AT THE FOOT OF THE LADDER is a worktitle. That means, that the title might change over time. It happens, trust me
[8] I'm on the dole right now, so theoretically I have all the time in the world to complete this impossible task. I am writing letters to companies, though, so do not freak out if one of these days I'm going to tell you that I've gotten a new job and won't be able to complete the project. I will try not to get a new job before the end of May, but one never knows.

As of today, I have approximately 4 more days to get this shit ready and going. Wish me luck. I'll need it.

-- alec, crazy as hell

hahaha... exciting! Like being at home the whole fucking day, having no friends and drinking whisky?? Boy, am I watching out for this novel which could be called 'sad days of a looser'. You could start with: 'I don't have a job and I just parasite on money from people who work...but look at me: I'm a rebel: I'm outside society. Think again; you're just a freeloader! I guess I should leave you alone ow, since this forum is our life and your only friend...

 

[DirtyDreamDesigner]

Heathcliff, you have posted twice and both times you did it to insult a long time member, so here's a strike for flaming. Now stop it.

 

[alec]

hahaha... exciting! Like being at home the whole fucking day, having no friends and drinking whisky?? Boy, am I watching out for this novel which could be called 'sad days of a looser'. You could start with: 'I don't have a job and I just parasite on money from people who work...but look at me: I'm a rebel: I'm outside society. Think again; you're just a freeloader! I guess I should leave you alone ow, since this forum is our life and your only friend...

Who the frikkin' fuck are you to judge me, you Brontë contraption?
First of all, I don't spend the whole fucking day at home, and I do have friends, although not that much (which is just fine by me).
Secondly, I haven't touched the booze for two weeks now. I smoke the herb now, which is ... well, just more fun.
Thirdly, I do have a job, dickweed. I have written a play which is going in premiere begin of August. And yes: I got paid for that. A hell of a lot, actually (there's money in theatre!). I've also freelanced a bit, writing stuff for magazines and drawing illustrations for them. And yes: I got paid for doing that.
I do not consider myself a rebel at all. I'm a failure. I have more talent in my little toe than you will ever have in your lifetime, yet I do not exactly know what I am to do with that talent. I've written books that got published and awarded with prizes. They teach about me at university, shithead. I've written for newspapers and magazines, and my cartoons appeared in a monthly magazine for two years in a row (I actually had to give that up because I got me a regular job). I've done more already than most people will do in their whole lives. Including you, you sad fuck.
Just because practically everyone chooses to live the prefab life society has designed for them, doesn't mean I have to. There are alternatives and no: they do not include being on the dole 24/7.
I have my quirks and oddities and regulars here know about them, yet leave me alone. You, my friend, are the last person in the goddamn universe who has the right to criticize me or my lifestyle.
You don't know shit about me.
With your kind of attitude, you are blacklist material for sure.
Now fuck off.

 

[Brother None]

Alec is off the booze!

 

[Zaron]

Maybe this is slighty off-topic, but what are the names of the books that you've written (and gotten published)? That, rather arousing, writing of yours is something I'd like to get a deeper look into.
You, best Belgian, have the rhetorical mind of an dictator! You get me all fired up when you defend yourself from the rock throwing trolls, lurking in caves called 'websites' in the Holy Land Of Pornography And Wikipedia.

 

[alec]

Maybe this is slighty off-topic, but what are the names of the books that you've written (and gotten published)? That, rather arousing, writing of yours is something I'd like to get a deeper look into.

Person@es, De Arbeiderspers, Amsterdam, 1997.
Wat Chloë overkwam, De Arbeidserspers, Amsterdam, 1999.
Schijnmanoeuvres, DRUKsel, Gent, 2000.
Zomerzot/Somersault, De Arbeiderspers, Amsterdam, 2001.

Not one of them got completely translated, although a dozen or so poems of mine have been translated into French and Portuguese. A German magazine also published some translations of short stories of mine.

To be honest: I started hating writing (or 'writing in Dutch') after Zomerzot/Somersault. You invest so much time and effort into your texts and the reward is ... pretty much nothing. In Belgium, that is.
I won a couple of prizes with my works (which is nice, because prizes mean "money"), but it was pretty clear to me that being a writer wasn't exactly a good job in the Flanders. Not enough readers. Not enough income. That's when I started doing cartoons for a periodical (to obtain money) and that's why I eventually got me a regular 9 to 5 job.
I quitted that job because I got ill and sad and am now pondering about a new book, doing other stuff on the side. Some months I live of welfare. Some months I don't (if I manage to get some sort of side-project rolling). Yeah, I know...

Thing is: I am skilled and talented enough to combine my drawings and writings into some sort of book, but I don't have a friggin' clue what I should be telling people. I'm my own worst critic. Everything I come up with, I almost immediately destroy. It's a sad affair, but I'll figure it out sooner or later. Just you wait and see.

And yes: I know it's pretty pathetic to call yourself a writer if you haven't published anything for 6 years. But I am a writer. Who likes to draw. That's the kind of stuff I want to do now. I just need to find the right format and story. It'll happen eventually. Trust me.

 

[Zaron]

Well, there goes the reading. Although I do know some german, schweinhund!

So, basically, this is you;

Not being a recognized writer and all, I'm not used to all the literal problems you're having, besides for the 'I-have-plenty-of-ideas-but-they-all-suck' scenario. I have no spent time, nor greater (at this point), interest in writing or drawing, or some other cultural shit. But I do have ideas nearly everyday. I guess everyone does. But, as you said, many of them is almost immediately destroyed. Neutralized. Condemned to the deepest dungeons of my mind.

----

Also, a little something I found slightly fun while Interwebin' alec;

 

[Pirengle]

Who the frikkin' fuck are you to judge me, you Brontë contraption?

Having written many papers on (Emily) Bronte's contraptions, I died laughing reading this.

I do not consider myself a rebel at all. I'm a failure. I have more talent in my little toe than you will ever have in your lifetime, yet I do not exactly know what I am to do with that talent.

Incongruous.

You need to see this movie if you haven't already. I'm reminded in particular of the scene where Salieri labors for what seems like days to compose a piece (a minuet?) for the emperor and performs the simple work well for him and the newly arrived Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Much to Salieri's chagrin, Mozart not only plays the piece by ear after hearing it once but adds counterpoint and harmony and complexity as well, blowing Salieri out of the water as far as his reputation with the emperor is concerned.

I've read enough of your posts on various topics and I've seen enough of your art to realize that you're Mozart, in your own podophilatic way.[/url]

 

[alec]

Thanks a lot. You just added another 5 ton to my already gigantic ego.

Here, have another drawing.

Character sketches

Tonight was a very productive night.

 

[Pirengle]

Thanks a lot. You just added another 5 ton to my already gigantic ego.

YW.

Can you do me a favor? Can you isolate the image of the guy facing his shadow for me? Just the guy on a white background without his beanlike cousins. I'm trying to make him into a transparent icon but Fireworks has problems wrapping the shadow and keeps hardening the guy's edges. (Yes Alec, I have problems with your guy being too hard. ) If I can just get the little bugger on a white background I can make the background transparent manually.