Florida Man!

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Alright. "Florida Man Decemember 28"

DAVIE, Fla. (AP) - Police say two Florida men stole a flat-screen television from a South Florida Walmart store and dropped it as they fled on a motorized scooter.

Davie police said on Twitter that 36-year-old Michael Patrick Flanagan was arrested Wednesday.

Video surveillance showed a man taking the 43-inch (1092-millimeter) Vizio flat screen television valued at $348 on Dec. 16. In a tweet, the agency said the "clumsy" pair almost crashed as they made their getaway. They left the TV on the ground.

Flanagan's image was captured on the video.

He told police the second man is named "Sharky." The search continues for him.

Flanagan faces a grand theft charge. A lawyer wasn't listed on court records.

An investigation continues.

(Copyright 2018 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)
https://www.fox4now.com/news/state/video-florida-man-drops-stolen-tv-from-getaway-scooter



Share your Florida Man!
 
I only got "Florida man catches tuna as big as a bear". And only after excluding the terms "baseball" and "league" because apparently "A baseball team is planning a special law-breaking night to pay tribute to ‘Florida Man’" on my birthday. The Rihanna birthday challenge works better for me:

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Florida Man February 1st:
Police: Florida man ‘swung a sword’ in road-rage attack
Photo: Pasco County Sheriff's Office
Associated Press




ZEPHYRHILLS, Fla. (AP) – A man is accused of hitting another man with a machete during a road-rage incident in Florida.

A Zephyrhills police report says 34-year-old Jonathan Bailey was arrested Tuesday night outside a Wal-Mart store.

The Tampa Bay Times reports that Bailey pulled his car up beside the victim’s vehicle and “swung a sword,” cutting the man’s hand.

The victim told officers the incident happened because he had cut Bailey off in traffic earlier. Bailey told police he used a machete but only because the other driver was following him.

Bailey was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and remained in jail Wednesday on a $10,000 bond. A lawyer wasn’t listed in jail records.

The victim had a cut on his hand between his thumb and index finger.
 
Somebody took the idiom "kill them with kindness" a bit too literally there.
 
Florida man commits murder over imaginary girlfriend

PASCO COUNTY, Florida (WPVI) -- Police in Florida say a man was killed over an imaginary girlfriend.

KTRK-TV reports, investigators say 30-year-old Brian Desario shot a man because he thought he was hitting on his imaginary girlfriend.

The shooting happened Thursday.

Desario was then killed in a shootout with police.

Deputies say he had a history of mental illness.

The name of his victim has not been released.
 
October 20th

A Florida man claimed he shot and killed his roommate -- and then dismembered him -- because he could “possibly be the next mass killer that we hear about in the media,” police said.

Eric Dacosta, 52, faces charges of premeditated murder and abuse of a dead body in the death of Paul Stephen Darmetko, whose remains were discovered by hunters Oct. 7, the Sun-Sentinel reported Wednesday. Darmetko’s mother reported him missing Oct. 13 after Dacosta told her he hadn’t heard from his roommate of five months for about a week.
 
CONNECTICUT MAN ATTEMPTS TO FIND FLORIDA MAN ARTICLE FOR HIS BIRTH DATE; CAN'T WADE THROUGH THE 19,000 RETARDED ARTICLES ON THE "FLORIDA MAN SOCIAL MEDIA PHENOMENON"

Ashford, CT - Arthur Welles, a 20-year-old unemployed layabout, attempted to find an article on a Floridian for his date of birth, but was unable to, sources say. The aforementioned Welles blames "the fucking dipfuck retarded 24-hour news cycle reporting on 'the Florida Man Challenge' because no news outlet has anything fucking better to fucking do" for his plight. Welles gave CNN an unsolicited and profanity-laden 2 hour long rant when asked about his attempt to participate in the challenge. Welles ended the rant by commenting, "gonna fucking kill myself this is such fucking bullshit" before staring off into space and not blinking for 20 minutes. "Commie ghosts that don't know they're dead" were Welles's chief suspects for his being unable to find an article.
 
AureliusofPhoenix said:
CONNECTICUT MAN ATTEMPTS TO FIND FLORIDA MAN ARTICLE FOR HIS BIRTH DATE; CAN'T WADE THROUGH THE 19,000 RETARDED ARTICLES ON THE "FLORIDA MAN SOCIAL MEDIA PHENOMENON"

Ashford, CT - Arthur Welles, a 20-year-old unemployed layabout, attempted to find an article on a Floridian for his date of birth, but was unable to, sources say. The aforementioned Welles blames "the fucking dipfuck retarded 24-hour news cycle reporting on 'the Florida Man Challenge' because no news outlet has anything fucking better to fucking do" for his plight. Welles gave CNN an unsolicited and profanity-laden 2 hour long rant when asked about his attempt to participate in the challenge. Welles ended the rant by commenting, "gonna fucking kill myself this is such fucking bullshit" before staring off into space and not blinking for 20 minutes. "Commie ghosts that don't know they're dead" were Welles's chief suspects for his being unable to find an article.
Click to expand...
http://bfy.tw/MtY2

:wiggle:
 
I recently learned why Florida is such a shithole. It has something to do with why the rest of the US is a shithole actually.
 
It's where old jews in New York go to die?





Anyways, wanna know the reason why Florida man is a thing?


It's because the press in Florida has legal access to the police records and reports everything.

So most places are like this in some way but Florida has more scoop in the filter.

Remember that when you're out there.


Bunch of Jews digging through everything. Lmfao. And getting their dicks sucked by all the nergos and white trash and shit out there sellin rock on the beach.


What's on the opposite end is that JR Sherriff Overkill and Bubba inbreed and the Police are Hostile as helllll.

So it's a very fuck you jew place enforced by Big Bubba RepublicfaciBaptist and they all hate Hippie shit unless it's crack rock dick suck and police confiscation of your shit.

Also, Florida is a great place to get rid of bodies.

Oh yeah and Cubans.

It's a fucked up place. But it's wild.

Alot of free boypussy down there since those types of south americans are much more accepting and open of trans shit, so there's alot of that. It's weird.

WEIRD FUCKIN MIX OF SHIT.

IT's the Jew Nose Tranny Dong Bubba Ballsack Red Crack Rocket Oil Dick of America.


But it'a RETARDED, and BACKWARD, and CONSERVATIVE. It's filled with people who are too religious to ever retire in a place like California, but have lots of money. Shit like that.

The laws are such that the poor man is fucked by the system and the rich can break the law with a permit.

One reason Trump's there.

Trump intersects the California Jew, with the New York Jew, and the Fundamental Baptist, and The Gangster Pimp. That's why he's so powerful.

Whatever. Retards = Blood for the vampires. Florida is full of harvest for the vampire. Israeli Spaghetti.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
The Dopamine Cleric said:
It's where old jews in New York go to die?





Anyways, wanna know the reason why Florida man is a thing?


It's because the press in Florida has legal access to the police records and reports everything.

So most places are like this in some way but Florida has more scoop in the filter.

Remember that when you're out there.


Bunch of Jews digging through everything. Lmfao. And getting their dicks sucked by all the nergos and white trash and shit out there sellin rock on the beach.


What's on the opposite end is that JR Sherriff Overkill and Bubba inbreed and the Police are Hostile as helllll.

So it's a very fuck you jew place enforced by Big Bubba RepublicfaciBaptist and they all hate Hippie shit unless it's crack rock dick suck and police confiscation of your shit.

Also, Florida is a great place to get rid of bodies.

Oh yeah and Cubans.

It's a fucked up place. But it's wild.

Alot of free boypussy down there since those types of south americans are much more accepting and open of trans shit, so there's alot of that. It's weird.

WEIRD FUCKIN MIX OF SHIT.

IT's the Jew Nose Tranny Dong Bubba Ballsack Red Crack Rocket Oil Dick of America.


But it'a RETARDED, and BACKWARD, and CONSERVATIVE. It's filled with people who are too religious to ever retire in a place like California, but have lots of money. Shit like that.

The laws are such that the poor man is fucked by the system and the rich can break the law with a permit.

One reason Trump's there.

Trump intersects the California Jew, with the New York Jew, and the Fundamental Baptist, and The Gangster Pimp. That's why he's so powerful.

Whatever. Retards = Blood for the vampires. Florida is full of harvest for the vampire. Israeli Spaghetti.
Click to expand...



It's because crackheads are one of the main industries in Florida.
 
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