This thread really got off-topic for a while, and that's sad, but it wasn't the fault of my post, and that's cool.
Since it's already in a limbo-like zone, I'll go ahead reply now. I don't think I'll reply again after that; have your say too, naturally, but lets let this thing continue to serve as a wastebasket for the garbage Fallout3 is upchucking out of our monitors.
First of all, in Fallout 3, I spent a lot of time shooting my father with my BB Gun immediately after he gave it to me. I really wanted him to die. He got very bloody, but only threatened me. As I shot him in the eyeballs dozens of times.
Star Wars is flashing lights and assholes in costumes. It is a series of children's movies that a bunch of weirdoes have tried way too hard to turn into something spiritual/philosophical/serious, when it so-much-isn't that I weep with embarassment for anyone who enjoys it. You RPG-people have made WAY too much out of that movie, you've really overblown its content and lifted it up onto a level that it was never remotely intended to operate on. You killed my father! Luke, I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER! Noooooooooookaywhatever, special effects time. That's Star Wars.
Bakshi's take on the Lord of the Rings was better than the recent string of doo-doos, primarily because it was far more original. Fuck, even the musical-cartoon version of Return of the King is better than the recent movie, because it at least moves at a steady pace and has a good sense of narrative - and doesn't take itself too seriously a solid half of the time, which is better than the new movie managed. Disco orcs - that's so awesome.
But I don't think the stories are that strong to begin with; I read the books, and three quarters of their content has nothing to do with characters or motivations or real thought, but are just some stinky old man playing make-believe with lots of weird made-up names and places. In the 908th Year of the Reign of Gleep-Glop, Nard'fling the Elder cast the Gilded Axe of Elrond Hubbard into the depths of Mount Shamwow in the land of yakitty yak. See, I can do it too.
I'm not going to tell you what constitutes a classic movie. It took me a decade to find that out - why would I help you? The Godfather is about a big fat Italian mama who's too busy eatin'a the spaghet's to tell her husband or her kids to knock off the shit and not get themselves killed. Pulp Fiction is Tarantino jerking off onto the stack of forgotten 16mm films that he stole every single one of his ideas from. That is NOT a tasty burger!
I don't buy that "Writing Class for Dummies" bullshit that every story is one of 7 archetypical stories and that you can only combine them in different ways. I don't think that "grizzled sensai" is a legitimate building block of an artistic work of fiction. I don't think that you can LEGO-build a movie or a book without being a hack who would be of more use to the world by taking up a bag filled with apple seeds and walking across New England, or by cleaning up trash from the sidewalk so that my Ferragamos don't get mussed. Anybody who goes for that rubbish is just lazy and trying to find some route by which to circumvent inspiration taken from their lives and invention derived from their intellect. People like that - and, from what I'm reading in your posts, people like many of you guys - think that fiction should distract, mislead and detach the audience by dazzling them with a fantasy world, instead of pushing them cornea-first into the rapidly mounting pile of red-hot rhino shit that constitutes the monstrously absurd (and absurdly monstrous) essence of the era in which we are living.
i want to punch and kick your beliefs