Hate Newspapers Thread

Plautus

Plautus

Angry Preacher
I thought it would be a good idea to centralize all NMA discussion about the hatred of newspapers.

I think that Protagonist Man hates newspapers (as we see in the video) because of what happens between the prologue and the main game footage we saw in the E3 demo. Vault 111 was actually a horrible Vault-Tec/Enclave experiment to produce sentient newspapers that would take over the world after the apocalypse. Protagonist Man unwittingly leads his family into the hellish lair of these newspapers, which enslave for 200 years. Then, by way of a MacGuffin, Protagonist Man is freed from the newspapers and released into the wastes. When he meets Piper and she mentions newspapers, this mentioning invokes terrible memories of his centuries of servitude to the evil newspapers. That's why he hates them.
 
Actually, I think that Vault 111 is an experiment in which they were testing people's tolerance for newspapers.
Normally, you get your daily newspaper early in the morning and you're all fine. But what if you were delivered one in the morning, and then another at noon? Or, god forbid, another one in the evening? And yet another just before you go to sleep?
In such circumstances the test subjects develop a strong dislike of newspapers due to reading too many badly written sensationalist stories.
And so after being subjected to such a terrible experiment, the Sole Survivor is the only person to... survive the experiment. All the other test subjects, including his wife and newborn child died due to newspaper overdose. Now he hates them with burning passion. He may even seek revenge against newspapers, only to uncover the terrible truth, it was the institute who sponsored and "suport'd d'noooos".
 
The newspapers killed his wife and kidnapped his son to use as a test rat in order to test experiments on humans to see what makes them tick while the protagonist was forcibly frozen but they accidentally froze him for 200 years instead of indefinitely.
200 years later he wakes up to find everyone is gone and the newspapers have taken over the world after the war enslaving humans to obey newspapers and now it's time to get revenge on them newspapers.

D'ya support d'nuuuus!!!!
 
This thread title made me laugh-snort, so we are off to a god start. So my jokey guess is that he is illiterate, and very self conscious about it.
 
Juza The Cloud said:
This thread title made me laugh-snort, so we are off to a god start. So my jokey guess is that he is illiterate, and very self conscious about it.
Click to expand...

Illiterate since Bethesda can't write good anything very well. I can't wait to see this hyped and praise worthy "writing".
 
Walpknut said:
Maybe he is super eco-concious and he thinks Newspapers are redundant and unnecesary uses of Trees when they could switch to a entirely digital medium.
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He's like an asshole with a new smartphone model telling everyone how great it is and they should convert to it. Except he has a pipboy.
 
Maybe he Hatse Newspapers.... because the twist is not that he is an android, but that he is actually a DOG! And Dogmeat is the original Mr 111 and that's why he accompanies him so quickly because he wants to recover his body. Meanwhile The Lone Dogsurvivor has no idea he is actually a dog because he got the memories implanted too, but his instincts resurface everynow and then!
 
Walpknut said:
Maybe he Hatse Newspapers.... because the twist is not that he is an android, but that he is actually a DOG! And Dogmeat is the original Mr 111 and that's why he accompanies him so quickly because he wants to recover his body. Meanwhile The Lone Dogsurvivor has no idea he is actually a dog because he got the memories implanted too, but his instincts resurface everynow and then!
Click to expand...

Of course... dogs hate newspapers... he's a violent son of a bitch... AND HE LOVES GORE!!!

Holmes, you've cracked the case!
 
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Did the dog and Mr. Vault 111 switch bodies? Hey Walpknut can you do that funny "Do you support the news!?" impersonation again? You always seem to do it the best.
 
Dr Fallout said:
Walpknut said:
Maybe he Hatse Newspapers.... because the twist is not that he is an android, but that he is actually a DOG! And Dogmeat is the original Mr 111 and that's why he accompanies him so quickly because he wants to recover his body. Meanwhile The Lone Dogsurvivor has no idea he is actually a dog because he got the memories implanted too, but his instincts resurface everynow and then!
Click to expand...

Of course... dogs hate newspapers... he's a violent son of a bitch... AND HE LOVES GORE!!!

Holmes, you've cracked the case!
Click to expand...
The Vault experiment was about surgically giving dogs parts of the human brain and testicles so they become physically human.

You're Russian, you understand that one :look:
 
You don't need to be Russian to understand that one. That particular work is also popular outside of Russia too.
 
I used to be a vault dweller like you, but then I took a newspaper to the knee from a rock-it launcher.

Someone needs to turn this into a mod. Have every useless NPC say that.
 
Well, it's the junk-jet now (much better name).

And in the script I'm working on for a mod, there's a line that goes like this.

"Well, I was​ a prospector until some jackass broke my knee with a vacuum cleaner.

Fuckin' junk jets."
 
phipboy said:
I used to be a vault dweller like you, but then I took a newspaper to the knee from a rock-it launcher.

Someone needs to turn this into a mod. Have every useless NPC say that.
Click to expand...

Patrolling the Charles makes you wish for a junk jet to the face. x5,000,000 times repeated
 
generalissimofurioso said:
Well, it's the junk-jet now (much better name).

And in the script I'm working on for a mod, there's a line that goes like this.

"Well, I was​ a prospector until some jackass broke my knee with a vacuum cleaner.

Fuckin' junk jets."
Click to expand...

At first I read "Funk Jet", and now I will learn how to mod Fallout 4 simply to make a Funk Jet weapon.
 
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