I just started to play Oblivion again last night.

Discussion in 'General Gaming and Hardware Forum' started by The Dopamine Cleric, Feb 24, 2008.

  1. The Dopamine Cleric

    The Dopamine Cleric ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ Orderite

    Nov 3, 2007
    And I can't believe that this "Tech Demo" actually achieved numerous "Game of the Year" nominations.


    I started the game, and as the loading screen popped up and the Blinx videos showing the Bethesda logo popped up, it was done in such a way with such beautiful music that for a second my mind went "Ahhhhhh Bethesda....... ooooo uhhh WAIT WTF". This moment revealed a sinister hypotheses about Bethesda. This whole game is about brainwashing. It's as if Todd Howard studied L.Ron Hubbard novels to learn how to make the best selling game.

    Then the game proceeded to the main menu, which was pretty, beautiful, and full of LIES! The papurus background and haunting melody of the score, was convincing my lower brain that I just uncovered a flask of ambrosia underneath a Greek monument. What it really was, is a paperbag full of dogshit with the word AMMBROOOZIA written on it with a sharpie.

    As I picked myself off the floor after being hit with Todd's enormous ego, I started a new game. I did have a level 11 character from about 3 years ago, but I didn't give a shit. I shouldn't be at level 11 to enjoy a game. It should start whenever I begin. Which is the flaw from the opening level. I am an ugly motherfucker, locked in a dungeon, being verbally raped by a poorly voiced acted darkfag from the cell across from me. Take away all the pretty graphics and the Havok physics chains swinging from the ceiling, and your playing "Deliverance for Air Sign Astrology circa 1200 AD in Universe 3947493" That should be the name of this game, cause it continually fucks you in the ass on an intellectual level. And left here with my ugly ass "EMPERIAL GAARRD" PC, all I can think of doing is turning my PC into a DBZ character, going super-sayian, and destroying the whole planet just to kill the dark elf fucker in the cell next to me.

    What happened next is the whole core of Bethesda's brain washing plot. From the corridor I hear Patrick Stewart stroll down towards my cell. All the nerds in the universe would shit themselves in awe, as I did 4 years ago. Then, he looked at me and said, "Let me see your face". From the experience of fucking with my characters skull shape for about 45 minutes, when the camera zoomed in on Patrick Stewart, my ugly ass fucking PC turned into the most attractive character in all of the empire. OMG! I think the nazi party designed this game. It is all false hope and pretty symbols stacked ontop of a giant egotistical bucket of elephant semen.

    Then, next was the test of all great RPG's, a meaningful and interactive dialouge engine. But, I was to distracted by the aura of standing in a cell nude with Patrick Stewart to care about the fact that the options for dialouge are "WAT DO I DO" "HOW DO I SHOT GUN" and "HUH?!". Yes, no matter what character you play in Oblivion, they all have the impressive articulation abilities of Keanu Reeves.

    After I discovered that I am "The One", I proceeded down one the worst designed, and oddly enough, most beautifully rendered dungeons I have ever experienced in a game, ever. The bloom lighting was so bright, that I'm not surpried that most people who played this game didn't realize that the NPC combatants from "Generic Satanist Badguys Cult number 32" where randomly spawning out of nowhere ontop of cliffs and rooms that had no purpose whatsoever. "Half-Life games have the same problem, but I don't give a shit".


    Well the end of the dungeon came, the emperor died, and at the exit I decided to fuck with my characters skull shape again from about 3 hours. So far, I haven't enjoyed a single element of this game besides prison-sex with Patrick Stewart, and I'm to emotinally scared from that incident to comment on it fully. After this pisspoor example of an intro to a game enviroment, I reflected on a memory of how this seemed somewhat similar to something I have played before. Imagine, if you will, if the beginning of fallout 1 involved walking through a cave and punching rats for an hour...... ohh... wait.... it did.... and had shitty graphics comparatively.... why did I enjoy that then? Awnser, that game actually had a combat system. Fallout had the ability to punch rats in the groin for criticals, Oblivion made you have to button mash clunky objects against poorly rendered 3d bloom rats for 4 hours and "Level Up".




    Here we are atlast, Fallout and Oblivion have ties to how the game starts, but the ladder seems to be just a shitty rip-off of the technique from Fallout. OMG! IT"S TRUE!!!!!!! BRAINWASHING!!!!. In fallout, I was interested in exploring the enviroment of this well-written cRPG. In Oblivion, when I emerged from my cave, I threw my character into the lake and turned off the console. I had better shit to do.


    End Result. This game was made by Satan himself. If you have a copy, nail it to a cross and burn it.[/img]
     
  2. cody92

    cody92 Still Mildly Glowing

    200
    Nov 29, 2007
    Wow your popular :clap:
     
  3. Tagaziel

    Tagaziel Panzerkatze Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Dec 10, 2003
    Oh god, I lol'd. :D
     
  4. xdarkyrex

    xdarkyrex Vault Senior Citizen

    Aug 28, 2006
    The combat felt just fine in oblivion to me.

    That was never my complaint about it.

    Lack of story, level scaled dungeons and monsters, and lack of interesting quests were my complaints.

    also, your character could be a god at everything, and their magic/stat/leveling system is sorta dumb.

    Also, the people were ugly, but that seems to be fixed in fallout 3, as the people look quite nice so far.
     
  5. The Dopamine Cleric

    The Dopamine Cleric ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ Orderite

    Nov 3, 2007


    Indeed, and your father will be narrated by Liam Neeson.... BRAIN WASHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I NEED ZA GOGGLES!
     
  6. MrBumble

    MrBumble Vault Fossil

    Jan 17, 2006
  7. The Dopamine Cleric

    The Dopamine Cleric ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ Orderite

    Nov 3, 2007
  8. Brother None

    Brother None This ghoul has seen it all
    Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Apr 3, 2003
    Just install some mods and try again, Dopemine. It's a decent dungeon crawl/adventure-esque game.

    "Fixed"? No, not really. "Made less bad", more like.
     
  9. Serge 13

    Serge 13 Elder Cat oTO Orderite

    Jul 20, 2006
    Well, i played the game for some hours and here is what have to say about it :

    Things i didn't like about Oblivion :

    1.Some crappy Textures at some parts of the game
    2.Repetitive and boring enviroments.all the fucking Dungeons,Caves,Towns,Oblivion gates and etc. look the same
    3.The dialouge system is ...well...i wouldn't go so far to call it a dialogue system
    4.Most of the characters use the same voice over and over again
    5.Boring quests
    6.Combat is crappy
    7.There isn't a single character that you would like or remember in the game

    and etc ...

    Things i liked about Oblivion :

    1.Thankfully, nobody is forcing me to play the game
     
  10. The Dopamine Cleric

    The Dopamine Cleric ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ Orderite

    Nov 3, 2007

    Ohh I disagree about that. The characters from the Dark Brotherhood quests where all pretty interesting and well written. The only problem with it is that it all lasts for about 2 hours and then your back into the Main game, which is utter shit.
     
  11. Serge 13

    Serge 13 Elder Cat oTO Orderite

    Jul 20, 2006
    it's all a matter of taste i guess, but i didn't like any of the characters i met in the game during the time i played it.
     
  12. Ravager69

    Ravager69 Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!

    Dec 21, 2007
    I'm a addicted to games, so I played this game for quite a long time (well, and because I spent too much on it to buy other, more interesting games), but it's nothing more than a assassin simulator. Because the only good part of the game is running all sneaky-like and shooting arrows through people's back with a bow. Melee combat isn't bad either, but less fun than marksmanship. Magic isn't interesting at all - it only varies what color the magic balls are.

    My opinion, Oblivion deserves 7\10 at best.
     
  13. RUN_LIKE_HELL

    RUN_LIKE_HELL Still Mildly Glowing

    276
    Nov 9, 2004
    I enjoyed the game but it needed a lan option the game would be fun in coop mode ! I remember some time ago a guy released a patch that allowed lan option, but I can't remember why the plug was pulled from the project.

    -EDIT-
    ok just found the Oblivion multi player mod website, project is called MultiTES4 .
     
  14. Pretentious

    Pretentious First time out of the vault

    51
    Feb 3, 2008
    I finally got a computer that could run it well around xmas time and I played Oblivion almost daily for 40 hours in total.

    I guess what kept me playing the game was the superficial feeling of immersion the pretty graphics and big world gave me. Its also because back then I was bored and wanted something to get lost in obession with. In retrospect that obession just wasted a good deal of my time basicly grinding and doing "go kill this" quests while waiting for the overall story to get a bit less cliche and shitty.

    I want those 40 hours back.

    I hated the melee combat but i was too immersed and addicted I guess to care. The melee combat is really god awful in my opinion, its just basicly button mashing while having reflexes good enough to block on time. It also felt so incredibly fake, it looked and felt to me like you werent even actually hitting anything especially because it didnt at all matter WHERE you hit the target but just that you did.

    I closed about 2 or 3 Oblivion gates and then just decided "Fuck this".

    Months after that I decided to give the Fallout series yet another go after having searched in vain for something worthwhile to spend the free time I alloted to gaming. That was a great move for me considering I'd never gone very deep into the series even though I thought of it as a masterpiece of gaming(Except for Fallout:BOS of course). Fallout 1, 2, and even Tactics manage to get me deeply immersed into a game without using shiny pretty graphics and a first person camera but with great gameplay and, an amazing story and environment.

    Oh and I know many of you dont like Tactics, but I'll say its a much better game than Oblivion certainly is and a decent spin-off of the Fallout series.
     
  15. cody92

    cody92 Still Mildly Glowing

    200
    Nov 29, 2007
    Tactics was an awesome game,its about as close to a real time modern rpg as you can get, one of my fav games.
     
  16. xdarkyrex

    xdarkyrex Vault Senior Citizen

    Aug 28, 2006

    WUT


    it wasnt an rpg dude.
     
  17. Brother None

    Brother None This ghoul has seen it all
    Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Apr 3, 2003
    In the same sense that Oblivion wasn't an RPG.

    Tactics is as much an RPG as the games that claim to be RPGs today
     
  18. xdarkyrex

    xdarkyrex Vault Senior Citizen

    Aug 28, 2006
    But it wasn't even advertised as an rpg ;_;
     
  19. Brother None

    Brother None This ghoul has seen it all
    Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Apr 3, 2003
    So you define a game's genre by how it's advertised?

    Oblivion is exactly or probably less so an RPG as GTA 3. Why is one an RPG and the other not? Because Bethesda says so?
     
  20. Paladin Solo

    Paladin Solo So Old I'm Losing Radiation Signs

    Nov 7, 2003
    I'd like to go back in time and <s>hurt</s>meet the dipshit(s) who thought fantasy action/adventure automatically makes a game an RPG. That trend of thought had to start somewhere low, smelly, and void of any sort of logic and reason. Japan?