Post your nation-specific jokes HERE

Hehe, 8/10.

A Turk, an American and a Swede are standing on the top level of the Eiffel tower. Suddenly, the Turk reaches into his pocket and throws down an opal. Surprised, the American and the Swede ask him why, to which the Turk replies that "Oh, we have so many opals in our country". Not wanting to be worse, the American reaches into his pocket and throws down a clip of dollar bills, and when asked, explaining that "Oh, we have so many dollar bills in our country." Then suddenly, the Swede throws down the Turk...
 
10/10

Q: How do you get brain cancer?

A: You try to understand what a Finn just wrote on TO.
 
9/10
Wooz said:
Q: How do you get brain cancer?
A: You try to understand what a Finn just wrote on TO.
Click to expand...

And if you would know the real answer, the god would decide, that you know too much, and something more grim would happen. :lightning:
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Q. What is the difference between USA and Russian.

A. In USA there are most cars in the world, in russian, there are most parking space in the world.

A2. In USA, there is still a functioning Communist Party.
 
Ratty: 10/10, hehe.

Why do Norwegians bring sand paper to the desert?

Because it's stupid to walk around there without a map.
 
5/10 Heard it so many times that it gets boring. Although in Norway it is the swedes that bring sandpaper ect ect.

Q:What is a swede on the top of Mount Everest?

A:The peak of stupidity.
 
4/10, personally

An American is walking down the street when he sees a Polak with a very long pole and a yardstick. He's standing the pole on its end and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick.

Seeing the Polak's ignorance, the American wrenches the pole out of his hand, lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the yardstick, and says, "There! 10 feet long."

The Polak grabs the yardstick and shouts, "You idiot American! I don't care how long it is! I want to know how high it is!"
 
4/10, because I'm ignorant to Polish drinking habits.

Q: How do we know that Adam wasn't black?

A: Have you ever tried to take ribs away from a black man?
 
3/10 - I understand what you mean.. but.. no, not funny.

Heaven is a place where:

The chef is French
The cops a British
The lovers are Italian
The mechanics are German
And it's all organized by the Swiss

Hell is a place where:

The chef is British
The cops are German
The lovers are Swiss
The mechanic is French
And it's all organized by the Italians
 
10/10

Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish" says the genie.

The Welshman says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Wales."

With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in Wales was forever made fertile for farming.

The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country. Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye,'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France.

The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."

The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."
 
9/10

A traincart full of Jews is heading towards the concentration camps in WWII. The windows are nailed shut, so there is no way of telling where they are. All they have is a little hole at the bottom of the cart's wall, where they can barely stick their hand through.

To try and figure out where they are, the wisest Jew sticks his hand through the hole and grabs the first thing he can get his hands on. As he pulls his arm back in, it turns of to be a bundle of black grapes, pulled right from the vine.

'We must be in France right now', he says, 'only there do they have such high-quality grapevines!'

Hours later, the jews again find themselves wondering where they are. The wise man again sticks his hand through the hole, grabbing the first thing he comes across. When he pulls his arm back in, his hand is filled with snow.

'We must be in Switzerland right now', he says, 'only in Switzerland is the snow this white and pure!'

So the journey continues. Hours and hours later, the jews find themselves wondering where they are again. Once again, they ask the Wise Jew to try and find out their location. He sticks his arm into the hole again.

This time, however, he fails to grab anything worthwile. However, as he -frustrated- pulls back his arm, he notices that his wristwatch is gone!

'Fuck', the Wise Jew says, 'we must be in Poland.'
 
OOOOLD. But good. 7/10


A Pole, a Frenchman and a Belgian are on vacation in Africa. They're relaxing in a bar, sipping a drink and telling their tales about what they recently saw in the exotic continent.
Suddenly, the bar door bursts open, and five HUGE negroes step in. They're all built like bulldozers, have several scars on their faces and are over two meters tall. Everything goes quiet as they approach the three whites.

The one that appears to be the leader walks up to the Pole, picks up his glass and drinks his booze. Then, he stares at him threateningly and declares: "I FUCK white women"
The Pole, terrorized, replies: "S-Sure, no p-problem".

Then, the huge man turns to the Frenchman, picks his booze up, drinks it and says: "I FUCK white women "
The Frenchman, on the verge of passing out from sheer terror, replies: "Wha..Whatever you say, Sir"

Finally, the thug turns to the Belgian, who seems to be unaltered by the scene, sipping his lemonade.
The huge black man tips the glass, which shatters to tiny pieces on the ground. He stares menacingly at the impassive Belgian and once again snarls "I FUCK white women"

To which the Belgian replies: "Yeah, me too. Black girls are sooo ugly."
 
Heh, nice 7/10

A Belgian is standing in line in a bank when he notices a beautiful blond chick smiling at him and waving. Surprised that such a gorgeous girl is waving at him, although she seemed a bit familiar, he approaches her and asks "Excuse me, do I know you from somewhere?". And she answers "I might be mistaken, but I believe you are the father of one of my kids!". The Belgians remembers the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says "Oh my God, you must be the stripper from my brothers bachelor party, the one I banged on the pool table in front of everybody while her friend was spanking me with a celery and sticking a cucumber up my ass!"
"No", she replies, "I tech your son English"
 
4/10 - because I already read it somewhere and the only thing you added is changing the protagonist into a Belgian.

One I told before already, but still cracks me up -

A Polak goes to the eyedoctor. The eyedoctor holds up a chart with the letters:

'Q C V S Q C Z C A W K M N I'

'Can you read that?', the doctor asks.

'Read it?', replies the Pole, 'I know the guy!'
 
9/10

Q: How do you recognize a Belgian in an orgy?

A: He's the only one to bang his wife.
 
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