Post your nation-specific jokes HERE

6/10

Now rly, I've been giving the Polaks a hard time. They don't deserve it, though, because they have given the world hoards of usefull inventions:

- solar powered flashlights

- helicopter ejector seats

- non-sticky glue

- waterproof fishing nets

- parachutes that open on impact

- anti-tank cavalry

etc. etc.
 
2/10, for the effort.

A Jew, a Gypsy, and a skinhead summon a genie and he offers to grant each of them a wish.
The Gypsy says: "I want the Jew to die."
The Jew says: "I want the Gypsy to die."
The skinhead looks at them and goes, "oh, in that case, I'll just have a cup of coffee."
 
Boo,

Ok, I posted this already but-

Why do the Palestinians want to live on teh West Bank?
- Because it's only a stone's throw away from Israel.
 
DJ Slamák said:
2/10, for the effort.

A Jew, a Gypsy, and a skinhead summon a genie and he offers to grant each of them a wish.
The Gypsy says: "I want the Jew to die."
The Jew says: "I want the Gypsy to die."
The skinhead looks at them and goes, "oh, in that case, I'll just have a cup of coffee."
Click to expand...
Skinhead = Nazi :roll: :roll: :roll:
 
American Heritage Dictionary said:
skin·head n. Slang 2. A member of any of various groups of people, especially young people, who shave their heads and sometimes participate in white-supremacist and anti-immigrant activities.
Click to expand...

I'm not much on jokes, so I will leave a quote instead.

"I once heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective." -Mark Twain

It's a shame I've heard so many of these jokes before, with small adjustments.

...and a six for Welsh.
 
Member of Khans said:
Skinhead = Nazi :roll: :roll: :roll:
Click to expand...

Not all of them, actually.


Cimmerian Nights get a 4.

An American, a German, and a Czech are on an expedition in the tropics. They get captured by a tribe of cannibals and presented to the chief, who asks where they're from.
"I'm American," says the American.
"American, fine. You'll make a good goulash. What about you?"
"I'm from Germany," replies the German (surprisingly).
"Germany? Okay, we'll cook a fine soup from your meat. And where are you from?"
"Th-the Czech Republic," the Czech answers.
"Ah, Czechoslovakia! Good place, I studied there! Will you have goulash or soup?"
 
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are employed by a group of slightly mad scientists to take part in an experiment. They all have to choose one thing and they will be locked in a room with it and only it for a year (of course they get food etc passed through to them). The Englishman chose women. The Scotsman chose whiskey. The Irishman chose cigars.

A year passed.

The scientists opened up the Englishman's door. All around were semi pregnant women, along with a load of young children.
"Ah, that was great, mate. I'd do it again any day." said the Englishman,
The scientists opened up the Scotsman's door. All around were empty whiskey bottles.
"Ah'll take ye all on!" yelled the Scotsman drunkenly.
The scientists opened up the Irishman's door. The Irishman jumped up to them and shouted:
"Do ye have a light?!"
 
DJ Slamák said:
Member of Khans said:
Skinhead = Nazi :roll: :roll: :roll:
Click to expand...

Not all of them, actually.
Click to expand...
Exactly that I was referring to. I hate it if people tell me Skinheads are Nazis. Even tho I once walked into a bunch of Nazi skins (unfortunately wearing Chucks and a lot of buttons) while thinking they were redskins. The next time I'll look at the laces.
Whatsoever.

You got a 8/10, 'cause this reminds me of this one:

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a German are on safari in the african jungle. Suddenly a group of wild bushmen jump out of the coppice. The three Europeans get captured and bound.
The negro chief talks to the German: "You were found guilty of illegal intrusion into our tribal lands. You got two options: Death or bongo-bongo."
The German thinks:'Hm. whatever Bongo-bongo is, it can't be worse than death'
So he choses Bongo-bongo and get ass-raped by 10 bushmen.
After the German is done, he's allowed to go. The chief aks the Englishman:"You may choose death or Bongo-bongo"
The Englishman thinks:'Hm, getting ass-raped isn't such a great pleasure, but at least I'll stay alive'
So he choses Bongo-bongo and gets gang-raped by 100 bushmen. After his asshole has the size of a football, he's free.
So the chief tells the Frenchman:"You were found guilty of illegal intrusion into our tribal lands. You got two options: Death or bongo-bongo."
The Frenchman: "Uh, I'll never stand getting ass-raped by 1000 bushmen, I choose death"
"Okay, death by Bongo-bongo"


EDIT: Mikey gets a 5/10
 
7/10 for the one above.


An American, a German, and a Chinese are stranded on a huge deserted island, full of resources. So they decide to found a city of their own, instead of trying to leave the island.

The American, being the good organiser that he is, instructs everyone what to do: "I, being American, will take care of TRANSPORTATION! You, the German, will take care of the INFRASTRUCTURE! You, the Chinese, will take care of the SUPPLIES!".

A week later, the German has built all the roads, buildings and factories in the city, and the American has constructed railways, underground systems, busses, etc. But the Chinese is nowhere to be found. So the 2 others decide to search the island for him.

After a while, they come across a bush that seems to be shaking, as if someone is hiding there. As they get closer to examine, the Chinese guy suddenly jumps out of it and exclaims: "SURPLISE!"
 
10/10. Genius.

The Polish tourism agency has a new motto:

'Come to Poland!
Your car's already here.'
 
7/10
clever, but some how not as strong as one would hope. Now for my lame joke:

Q: Two Illegals (Presumably mexican since i'm American) are racing, and end up jumping off a bridge and die. Who wins?

A: Society.
 
True.
6.5/10

Woman: Help! Help!A Belgian tried to rape me!
Police Officer: How do you know he was a Belgian?
Woman: He asked me to help him.
 
Was Ist, you're such a comedian.

5/10

(and now for an old one)

Q: Why do the ships in the new Polish fleet have glass bottoms?

A: So they can see the old Polish fleet.



*EDIT* I swear to God, I didn't even notice I wrote 'Fas Ist' instead of 'Was Ist'. Amazing. It's like, all creepy and Freudian...


*EDIT 2* HOLY CRAP I DID IT AGAIN
 
Jebus said:
*EDIT* I swear to God, I didn't even notice I wrote 'Fas Ist' instead of 'Fas ist'. Amazing. It's like, all creepy and Freudian...


*EDIT 2* HOLY CRAP I DID IT AGAIN
Click to expand...
I know.Even I can't write W-a-s ist!!!

(it was made under the controll of the Jewish clique here)

6/10

Q. Why wasn't christ born in Albania?
A. Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
 
Jarno Mikkola said:
Q. Why, in Moscow, does the militia have AK47 in addition to pistol?
Click to expand...
For those who are not gunslingers, the militia use the AK74U. Spoken, called "spitter" for the low accuracy.

7/10

An American, a French and a Russian found a magic lamp, travelling about the desert. They summoned a ginie. He promised to fulfil 2 wishes of each of them. The American, "Gimme a sack of gold and send me home". The French, "I want a couple of chicks. Yes, and send me home". The two disappear. The Russian, having remained alone, says, "A crate of cold vodka, and those two guys back!"
 
old (are there any new ones? :) 5/10
You all heard that Moses got the ten commandments from God on a mountain top, right? Well let me tell you how it really was :D
God was walking the Earth trying to pass out 5 commandments. He meets an italian:
God: would you like 5 commandments?
Italian: Like what?
God: well, thou shall not take another man's wife.
Italian: oh, no good for me, I can't accept that.
then God meets a romanian:
God: would you like 5 commandments?
Romanian: Like what?
God: thou shall not steal.
Romanian: Oh, sorry but that would be impossible for me, no thanks.
then god meets a jew:
God: would you like 5 commandments?
Jew: do they cost anything?
God: No, they are free.
Jew: then give me two sets.
 
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