Post your nation-specific jokes HERE

Mikey: 10. I don't get it, so it must be a wonderfully crafty joke.

A Polack walks into the doctors office with a toad on his head.

"Holy crap", the doctor says, "how the hell did that happen?"

"Well," the toad says, "it all started with a little wart on my toe..."
 
7

An Irishman runs into a bar and says to the barkeeper "Do you have any chopsticks?"
"Uhm, sure." says the Barkeep and hands some over.

Then another Irishman runs into a bar and says to the barkeeper "Do you have any chopsticks?"
"Uhm, sure." says the Barkeep again and hands some over.

A few minutes later a third Irishman runs in and says "Do you have any drinking straws?"
The barkeep is slightly puzzled. "Two of your lot came in a minute ago." he says "You sure you don't want some chopsticks?"
"Nah," replies the Irishman "Someone's puked up outside but all the big bits are gone.
 
8

A Polack walks into a bar, a parrot wearing a baseballcap sitting on his shoulder.

"Whoa", the bartender says, "that's wierd! Where did you get that?"

"Poland.", the parrot replies. "They've got millions of these there!"
 
7

An English submarine detected a Russian one several miles away and the captain decided to send a transmission to it.
-- Hello! This is captain Smith speaking!
The Russians reply:
-- Captain Fokin.
The English sub responded only within thirty minutes with the same sentence:
-- This is captain Smith again.
-- Captain Fokin.
No answer from the English sub again. Then within an hour they continue:
-- Captain Smith speaking.
-- Captain Fokin.
-- No way! Still f*cking?!
 
9

What's a quick way to make a huge profit?


Buy a frenchman for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth.
 
2

A burglar storms into a Polacks bedroom and yells 'I'm searching for money!'

To which the Polack replies: "let us search together!"
 
7
What's the difference between an Aborigine and a park bench?





A park bench can support a family.
 
6, but it reminds me.

A man sees a grinning aborigine dragging a sheet of corrugated iron and kettle behind him. He asks aborigine why he's dragging those things around. He replies that he had just divorced his wife and they were what he'd got out the case.
The first man says "What? Just a sheet of iron and a kettle?"
To which the aborigine replies "Yeah, awesome innit? Home AND Contents!"
 
6

A Pole drives his car through a red light.

A policeman on the scene pulls him over, and as the Pole lowers his window, the cop says: "That's going to be 25 €, then."

To which the Pole replies: "Sold!"
 
10

A Polish politician is speeching. The first thing he shouts out is: "I was born a Pole, I have aways lived like a Pole and I will DIE a Pole!"

To which a Belgian in the audience shouts out: "Do you really lack any shred of ambition?"
 
5

Two Mexican cops are investigating a murder.
Carlos turns to his partner and asks "So what do you think?" to which his partner replies, "I think he's been shot by a golf gun."
"I've never heard of a golf gun before," says Carlos.
His partner replies "Well it sure made a hole in Juan."
 
Week; 2.

A gypsy walks into a bar in Bosnia and she's holding a baby. "Gimmie five marks for Fadim".
"Go away, woman".
"Come on, give me five marks for Fadim.".
"Leave me alone, woman."
"Come on, give me five marks for Fadim! It's bad luck if you don't!".
"Fine, here, take five marks!"
"Here, take Fadim!"
 
5

This one's a bit old, but good none the less;

During an international military excercise three soldiers, an American, an Englishman and a Russian, each get separated from their respective units. At night they find themselves around the same campfire. After a while the talk turns towards how well they are fed in their respective armies.

"In the Russian army we get 2000 kalories worth of food every day" says the Russian.

"Well, in the British army we get 4000 kalories worth of food a day" says the Englishman.

"That's nothing guys, in the American army we get 6000 kalories worth of food a day" says the American.

At this point the Russian is getting upset at being upstaged by the two others and exclaims "You're lying! No man can eat that much cabbage!"
 
7

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear velcro flies on their pants??

The sheep know what zippers sound like...
 
How do British men know that their wife is dead?

The sex is still the same but the dishes are stacking up.
 
The norwegian, the dane and the swede in a pissing contest;
The Swede pissed like two metres or so, then the dane pissed three metres, then the norwegian pissed so far it started raining in Africa.

HARR HARR HARR!

Mikey said:
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Sctosman where out in the desert when their Land Rover broke down.
Click to expand...

Now see if they used a Toyota HiLux this would not have happened.
 
4/10

By far the best Dutchmen joke ever:


frans-bauer-800x600-04.jpg
 
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