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Q: How many people does it take to defend Paris?
A: No one knows. It hasn't been tried yet.

Q: What's Cuba's new national anthem?
A: Row, row, row your boat...

Q: What do Hiroshima and Baghdad have in common?
A: Nothing yet.

Q: Why do Iraqi army boats have glass bottoms?
A: So they can see their airforce.

Q: Why is it easier to train Iraqi pilots than any other pilots?
A: You only need to teach them how to take off.
 
BUMP! Ehehehehe

Q: What do you do with an elephant with three balls?
A: You let him run and let the giraffe pitch.

Geddit?
 
Here's a joke that will give you some idea of how 'things are done' in Croatian world of business.

Croatian guy comes to Italy and his Italian friend picks him up with his Ferrari, shows him his brand new cellphone, takes him to his villa and so on. The Croat admires it all and says: "Wow! How did you afford all that stuff?" And Italian guy takes him to a nearby bay and says:
"See that bridge over there?"
"Yeah.", says the Croat.
"Well, I built it 20 inches more narrow than it should be, and those 20 inches I embezzled were enough to buy all that luxury stuff you saw.
One year later, Italian comes to visit Croatia. Croatian guy picks him up with his brand new Mercedes, shows him around one of his five huge villas, gives him a ride in his new Rolls Royce etc. Italian admires it all and says:
"WOW!!! How did you afford all of that!?"
So Croatian guy takes him to a nearby bay and says:
"See that bridge over there?"
"No.", the Italian says.
"Exactly."
 
An American astronaut was boasting to his Polish counterpart how easy it will be for America to land a man on Mars.
"That's nothing!" says the Pole, "We're going to land a man on the sun!"
"Don't be moron." says the American. "He'll be toast before he even gets near it!."
The Pole replies "No, he'll be fine. We're sending him at night."
 
Q: What happens to an exposed pedophile?
A: He gets assigned to a different parish!

Q: What's black, white and can't turn around in an elevator?
A: A nun with spear in her chest! :twisted:
 
Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile?


A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

Bawhaha!

Mohrg :twisted:
 
Q: Whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a Cadillac?
A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

Q: Whats red and has more brains that Kurt Cobain?
A: The wall behind him.

Q: How do you kill 50 flies with one shot?
A: smack an etheopian in the face with a frying pan.
 
[PCE said:
el_Prez]Q: Whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a Cadillac?
A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
Click to expand...

I now have a new favorite joke!
 
I have a bunch of really sick and twisted jokes for you psychos. :twisted:

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a stone?
A: You can't fuck a stone!

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a steak?
A: Steak doesn't scream when you slice it!

Q:What's the difference between a baby and sand?
A: You can't eat sand with a fork!

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a piece of paper?
A: Baby takes longer to burn!

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
A: One, if you swing hard enough!

Q: What's humour?
A: Six babies in a trashcan!
Q: And what's black humour?
A: One baby in six trashcans!

Q: How did a baby survive a ten-story fall?
A: By grabbing hold of someone's antenna. With her eye.
 
Ratty said:
Q: What's the difference between a baby and a steak?
A: Steak doesn't scream when you slice it!
Click to expand...
I think I'm going to hell for laughing at that.

Hope my girlfriend doesn't see this one.....

Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

A: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice!
 
K, my turn then

A polish guy wants to learn how to skydive so he rents a plane, stuffs his parachute and jumps at 13000 feet. He enjoys the free fall and at 9000 feet he tries to open his parachute. Nothing happens...he yanks at the rope...nothing yet. Feeling desperate, he tries the emergency parachute and a frying pan comes out the backpack. At the end of his wits, he sees a small, screaming figure rising quickly in the air. With nothing to lose, he waits until the figure is a few feet below him and he sees that the figure is a burnt, screaming polish guy. "Do you know anything about parachutes?" The parachuter asks. "I don't know anything about parachutes or steam boilers for that matter, friend" The burnt guy answers.

This one originally featured Galicians (the latin version of Polish guys) but I doubt many of you have heard of their stupidity.
 
Three mice, one from America, one from Russia and one from Bosnia, get together for a drink and small talk. American mouse orders a double whiskey and starts bragging to his fellow mice:
"When I see a mousetrap, I activate it with my tail, wait for it to descend and then lift it up and down twenty times to work up an apetite!"
The Russian mouse drinks half of vodka from his bottle and says:
"Whenever I see some rat poison, I drink it in my coffee to wake me up in the morning!"
The Bosnian mouse drinks his rakija (that's a very powerful alcohol drink, 50% alc. or more, brought to southeastern Europe by the Turks), looks at other two mice with disgust and says:
"I've got no time to listen to your crap. I'm going home to fuck the cat!"
 
Whats yellow and then red after you press a button? A small chicken inside a blender.

A Polish pilot was approaching the airport when his copilot (also Polish) said: shit! look at how short the runway is, sir! The pilot replies: and how wiiiide!

Its a little known fact that the Germans and Poles had quite a battle in WW2. The Poles threw dynamite to the Germans. The Germans lit it then threw it back.
 
Two nuns are riding a tandem bike down an old cobbled road. The nun In the front turns her head and says "You know, I dont think we've ever come this way before" the nun in the back says "Yeah, it must be the cobbles".
 
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an unwilling agnostic, and an insomniac?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.
 
A higher up at large financial corperation was interveiwing potential employees. Confused with the answers of his current interviewee, he asked, "Where did you get your financial eduction?"

"Yale." The man replied.

"I see," said the confused Interveiwer, "and what is your name again?"

"Yim Yohnson."
 
how do you know a blonde used a computer?
there is whiteout on the screen
The joystick is wet

What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
Hello, ladies!

Why can't Helen Keller drive?
She's a woman

How do you get a Pole out of a tree?
Wave

What was he doing up in the tree?
Raking the leaves.
 
Bosnian captures gold shark and she says to him:"Look since i am in rush you only have one wish.".Bosnian thinks about it and says:"Ok i wish my dick can touch the ground!".Shark says:"No problemo!",jumps from the water and bites of his legs!
 
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