What do YOU want on your tombstone?

UniversalWolf said:
I'm going to have two graves. Mine will be marked "UNKNOWN" and the one next to mine will be marked "ARCH STANTON". Or maybe I'll be in the second one and I'll put some treasure in the first one.
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There are two kinds of people in this world my friend.
Those with loaded guns, and those who dig.

You dig.
 
SuAside Wrote:
purgatory was pretty boring and paradise was even worse.
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Purgatory had its moments, but yeah, Paradise is dull as dishwater.
Guess we're just not heaven material?

Revised epitaph, in case of Chinese Hell:
'Frying Tonight...'
 
Radwaster said:
SuAside Wrote:
purgatory was pretty boring and paradise was even worse.
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Purgatory had its moments, but yeah, Paradise is dull as dishwater.
Guess we're just not heaven material?

Revised epitaph, in case of Chinese Hell:
'Frying Tonight...'
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You go to heaven for the weather and hell for the company.
 
Mani said:
"Open at your own peril"

"Bring me back to life when the technology becomes available"

"Will zombie for braaaaaains"
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:rofl: @ the last entry :D
 
JunWisewar said:
The concept of '18 levels of hell' started in the Tang Dynasty. The Buddhist text Jian Di Yu Jing (間地獄經) mentioned 134 worlds of hell, but was simplified to 18 levels of hell for convenience.
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:lol: Apparently 134 worlds of hell unable to fit into a simple pamphlet that will be given to the newcomer of Chinese Hell....so they have cut down the list. Imagine how the sinner will cried in horror to learn there are actually 134 worlds of Hell instead of 18.


1. Chamber of Wind and Thunder – People who kill and commit heinous crimes out of greed are sent here for punishment.
2. Chamber of Grinding – Wealthy men who do no good and waste food are ground into powder in this chamber.
3. Chamber of Flames – People who steal, plunder, rob and cheat are sent here to be burnt.
4. Chamber of Ice – Children who ill-treat their parents and elders are sent here to be frozen in ice.
5. Chamber of Oil Cauldrons – Sex offenders such as rapists, lechers, adulterers are fried in oil in this chamber.
6. Chamber of Dismemberment by Sawing – Kidnappers and people who force good women into prostitution suffer the fate of being sawn in this chamber.
7. Chamber of Dismemberment by Chariot – Corrupt officials and landlords who oppress and exploit the people are dismembered by a chariot in this chamber.
8. Chamber of Mountain of Knives – People who cheat customers by earning more than they should, profiteers who jack up prices and cheat on the quality of goods are made to shed blood by climbing the mountain of knives.
9. Chamber of Tongue Ripping – Gossips who stir trouble and liars suffer the fate of having their tongues ripped out in this chamber.
10. Chamber of Pounding – Cold-blooded murderers are pounded in this chamber.
11. Chamber of Torso-severing – Scheming and ungrateful men have their torsos severed in this chamber.
12. Chamber of Scales – Crooks who oppress the innocent, people who cheat on the quality of goods and daughters-in-law who ill-treat their in-laws have hooks pierced into their body and hung upside down.
13. Chamber of Eye-gouging – Peeping toms who go around peeking and leering have their eyeballs gouged out in this chamber.
14. Chamber of Heart-digging – People with evil hearts have theirs dug out in this chamber.
15. Chamber of Disembowelment – Instigators, hypocrites and tomb-robbers have their bowels dug out in this chamber.
16. Chamber of Blood – Blasphemous crooks who show no respect to the gods suffer the fate of being skinned in this chamber.
17. Chamber of Maggots – Crooks who use loopholes in the law to cheat and engage in malpractice are being eaten alive by maggots in this chamber.
18. Chamber of Avici – Crooks who have committed heinous crimes, brought misery to the people and betrayed the ruler are placed on a platform above an inferno. The unlucky ones fall off the platform into the inferno and burn while the lucky ones remain on the platform. These spirits are never to be reincarnated.
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Eheheh... that's awesome. Not too strong selling points for the religion there. Here's my score:

1. Never killed anyone, and though I've been greedy, I don't think I qualify for 'heinous crimes out of greed', so I guess I'm off the hook for unspecified 'punishment'.
2. I'm not wealthy, but I've done no good and wasted a lot of food. Put me down for some powder grinding.
3. I've stolen as a kid, of course (I think I was 12 or so the last time, nicking a dollar for candy), and I've cheated at tests and such, so I'm totally up for a burning.
4. I was somewhat of a jerk as a kid, I guess, so make my ice-freezing a double.
5. Not a sex offender, but pretty perverted. I guess I could just simmer a bit in the oil without getting deep fried? (Can I get rice with that? *ba-da-bum-ching*)
6. Aw shucks, never kidnapped or forced a good woman into prostitution. No dismemberment by sawing then, I guess. :/
7. Never been an official or a landlord, but I've been corrupted... Still, I guess i'm off the hook here as well.
8. Sure I've jacked up prices for some products.. that's what the entertainment industry is all about - selling crappy entertainment for obscene prices. I guess I'm in for this whole climbing the mountain of knives thing, then.
9. I've lied and gossiped, so off with the tounge!
10. Eheheh... I'm obviously not a cold blooded murder, but if I were, I would get *pounded*? I just climbed a fucking mountain of knives for having jacked up a price a little bit, but had I killed someone, an old fashioned pounding would have been the punishment? (Would that be a straight pounding or a prison pounding?)
11. Yep, I've schemed, and I've been hella ungreatful, so it's a jackpot for the champer of torso-severing.
12. Unless internet politics count, I don't think I've been a crook who's oppressed the innocent... And I'm obviously not a daughter-in-law who has ill-treated my in-laws. This was a weird chamber.
13. Bwahaha, a whole separate chamber for peeping toms! I'd easily have my eyes gouged out here. I mean, who hasn't snuck a peak when opportunity has presented itself?
14. I honestly don't think I have an evil heart, but I don't think it's purely good either. So do I get half the deal of having my heart dug out, or is it no game? :/
15. I've never been a tomb-robber, but I've been a hypocrite :). Away with the bowels!
16. Yep, I'm a top notch 'blasphemous crook' who show no respect for the gods - guess I'm in for a skinning.
17. Hmm, I guess with some creative interpretation, I've 'used loopholes of the law'. Perhaps not to the greatest extent, so I guess the maggots can just eat me alive for a little while?
18. Nope, not even with creativity can I qualify for this one. (Unless, again, you count internet politics :P). I haven't brought misery to the people and betrayed the ruler. (Though, hmm, I have brought misery to some people, and I haven't exactly not betrayed the ruler... But yer, that's too creative.) So I'm off the hook for the platform above the inferno.

Pretty content with the score, there. A funnier sheet than the seven christian cardinal sins (where I of course score 7/7).

On my grave, in the event that I get one (I dunno - I might just live forever... or get cremated or w/e - doesn't matter to me much), it could of course be funny with a cynical little strip of text. I don't think "At least I got to fuck a stripper" would get approved. So maybe something along the lines of "Finally", or "I decompose in your general direction", or "If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten... I forgot what it was, and look at me now."

Or mebbe a longer snippet; "I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get *that* day over, and over, and over..."
 
A spire with the bloke who iced me impaled atop!

Or, if it were to be in English and I got to live to old age... "You darn kids get off my loin"
 
Cimmerian Nights said:
UniversalWolf said:
I'm going to have two graves. Mine will be marked "UNKNOWN" and the one next to mine will be marked "ARCH STANTON". Or maybe I'll be in the second one and I'll put some treasure in the first one.
Click to expand...
There are two kinds of people in this world my friend.
Those with loaded guns, and those who dig.

You dig.
Click to expand...
Maybe I'll leave a shovel sitting nearby...
 
Here lies Sean Caraska, made up of about 6.7 x 1027 atoms and is composed of 60 chemical elements:
Element ↓ Percent of Mass[1] ↓ Mass (kg)[2] ↓
Oxygen 65 43
Carbon 18 16
Hydrogen 10 7
Nitrogen 3 1.8
Calcium 1.5 1.0
Phosphorus 1 0.780
Potassium 0.25 0.140
Sulfur 0.25 0.140
Sodium 0.15 0.100
Chlorine 0.15 0.095
Magnesium 0.05 0.019
Iron 0.006 0.0042
Fluorine 0.0037 0.0026
Zinc 0.0032 0.0023
Silicon 0.002 0.0010
Rubidium 0.00046 0.00068
Strontium 0.00046 0.00032
Bromine 0.00029 0.00026
Lead 0.00017 0.00012
Copper 0.0001 0.000072
Aluminium 0.000087 0.000060
Cadmium 0.000072 0.000050
Cerium 0.000040
Barium 0.000031 0.000022
Tin 0.000024 0.000020
Iodine 0.000016 0.000020
Titanium 0.000013 0.000020
Boron 0.000069 0.000018
Selenium 0.000019 0.000015
Nickel 0.000014 0.000015
Chromium 0.0000024 0.000014
Manganese 0.000017 0.000012
Arsenic 0.000026 0.000007
Lithium 0.0000031 0.000007
Mercury 0.000019 0.000006
Caesium 0.0000021 0.000006
Molybdenum 0.000013 0.000005
Germanium 0.000005
Cobalt 0.0000021 0.000003
Antimony 0.000011 0.000002
Silver 0.000001 0.000002
Niobium 0.00016 0.0000015
Zirconium 0.0006 0.000001
Lanthanum 0.0000008
Tellurium 0.000012 0.0000007
Gallium 0.0000007
Yttrium 0.0000006
Bismuth 0.0000005
Thallium 0.0000005
Indium 0.0000004
Gold 0.000014 0.0000002
Scandium 0.0000002
Tantalum 0.0000002
Vanadium 0.000026 0.00000011
Thorium 0.0000001
Uranium 0.00000013 0.0000001
Samarium 0.000000050
Tungsten 0.000000020
Beryllium 0.000000005 0.000000036
Radium 0.00000000000000001

Element ↓ Percent of Atoms[3] ↓ Atoms ↓
Hydrogen 63 4.22 x 1027
Oxygen 24 1.61 x 1027
Carbon 12 8.03 x 1026
Nitrogen 0.58 3.9 x 1025
Calcium 0.24 1.6 x 1025
Phosphorus 0.14 9.6 x 1024
Sulfur 0.038 2.6 x 1024
Sodium 0.037 2.5 x 1024
Potassium 0.033 2.2 x 1024
Chlorine 0.024 1.6 x 1024
Magnesium 0.0070 4.7 x 1023
Silicon 0.0058 3.9 x 1023
Fluorine 0.0012 8.3 x 1022
Iron 0.00067 4.5 x 1022
Zinc 0.00031 2.1 x 1022
Rubidium 0.000033 2.2 x 1021
Strontium 0.000033 2.2 x 1021
Bromine 0.000030 2.0 x 1021
Aluminum 0.000015 1.0 x 1021
Copper 0.0000104 7 x 1020
Lead 0.0000045 3 x 1020
Cadmium 0.0000045 3 x 1020
Boron 0.0000030 2 x 1020
Manganese 0.0000015 1 x 1020
Nickel 0.0000015 1 x 1020
Lithium 0.0000015 1 x 1020
Barium 0.0000012 8 x 1019
Iodine 0.00000075 5 x 1019
Tin 0.00000060 4 x 1019
Gold 0.00000030 2 x 1019
Zirconium 0.00000030 2 x 1019
Cobalt 0.00000030 2 x 1019
Cesium 0.00000010 7 x 1018
Mercury 0.000000089 6 x 1018
Arsenic 0.000000089 6 x 1018
Chromium 0.000000089 6 x 1018
Molybdenum 0.000000045 3 x 1018
Selenium 0.000000045 3 x 1018
Beryllium 0.000000045 3 x 1018
Vanadium 0.000000012 8 x 1017
Uranium 0.0000000030 2 x 1017
Radium 0.00000000000000001% 8 x 1010

Molecules in one cell

Estimated Gross Molecular Contents of a Typical 20-micrometre Human Cell[3]
Molecule ↓ Percent of Mass ↓ Mol.Weight (daltons) ↓ Molecules ↓ Percent of Molecules ↓
Water 65 18 1.74 x 1014 98.73
Other Inorganics 1.5 55 1.31 x 1012 0.74
Lipids 12 700 8.4 x 1011 0.475
Other Organics 0.4 250 7.7 x 1010 0.044
Protein 20 50,000 1.9 x 1010 0.011
RNA 1.0 1 x 106 5 x 107 3 x 10-5
DNA 0.1 1 x 1011 46 3 x 10-11
THC 99.1 5 x1134 46&2 333.333
Vodka (Trace amounts) .000000001
 
"I have a money stash worth of 5.000.000.000,00 dollars here, but I will eat any grave diggers, bums who sleep on this, and/or tombstone- pushing, flower- stealing, on- grave- jumping retard idiots."

(On golden letters, of course.)
 
Posterity will ne'er survey
A nobler grave than this:
Here lie the bones of Castlereagh:
Stop, traveller, and piss

Byron, on Castlereagh.
 
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