Most of your post is about personal preference, so I will not comment on that, but I have to comment on two things.
In Fallout 3, there's no notification pausing the game and telling you that now a faction hates you. You actually feel within the environment the effects of your actions. If you're too much of a goody two-shoes some Talon Company mercs try to kill you. If you're evil, you can get in certain places just because of your reputation.
This is not true at all. If you for example kill someone in a town, all you have to do in Fallout 3 is to run away and wait 3 days and the town will magically have forgotten you're a murderer. If you're a very evil person, you can just donate some caps in a church, give some bottles of water to a beggar or even just kill some feral ghouls in the metro tunnels and you will be a very good person very fast.
On contrast, if you're a goody two shoes, all you have to do is go to someone's house while they aren't there and steal all their junk like empty cans and pencils, you will be evil in no time.
How is that for a "feel within the environment the effects of my actions?". Most of the effects can be countered easily to change my karma.
And there is only one place you can access when you have evil karma, Paradise Falls. And you can access it in other ways easily too.
Now put these things in contrast with FNV reputations, which if a faction hates you enough to shoot first and ask questions later, they will always do it. There is no going back on your actions there. If you get a bad or very bad reputation with a faction, you will never get a very good reputation with that faction again, no matter if you then do all their quests and increase your relationship with them, you will just end up having a more neutral relationship. That is feeling the effects of your actions in the environment. Also if there are factions that hate you enough to want to kill you, they will send hit squads to attack you, just like Talon and Regulator squads.
Also Karma is used in Fallout 3 to have access to Companions, but they still stay with you even if your karma change. Which is really stupid... So Jericho refuses to adventure with a "goody two-shoes", but it doesn't refuse to adventure with someone who was a tiny bit bad (all you need is to have 1 negative total karma value) but then became the savior of the wastes?
Now put that in contrast with Fallout New Vegas Companions, that will leave or outright attack you if you mess with factions/do things they don't approve. Yep... Fallout 3 is much better... right?
When you turn ten, you can use dialogue to make Butch pussy out of the fight. Violence is a secondary option
This is wrong. There is no dialogue option that makes Butch pussy out of the fight. The options you have are (paraphrased):
- "Old Lady Palmer said I didn't have to share" - This leads to Butch making fun of you and it just goes back to the remaining dialogue options.
- "How about we share it. Half-half?" - This leads to Butch making fun of you and it just goes back to the remaining dialogue options.
- "You can have it." - Butch gets your sweetroll.
- "Sure Butch *spits on the sweetroll*" - Makes Butch angry and he tells you he will get you later for spoiling the sweetroll.
- "Go soak your head. I am not giving it to you" - Makes Butch attack you.
- "You look hungry. Your mother drank all the ration coupons again?" - Makes Butch attack you.
- "Hmm, it was delicious, I already ate it." (appears only if you already ate it) - Butch gets annoyed, but doesn't do anything else.
- "I threw it away. You can eat it from the floor if you want to" - Makes Butch angry and he tells you he will get you later for it.
In no option he "pusses out". No option makes you be a tough kid that actually confronts a bully without a fight. Well, I wouldn't even call it a fight since you can't fight back, you have to take Butch's punches like a pussy until Gomez stops him.