Addictions

Crni Vuk said:
addictions are like old friends.

Quite hard to get rid of them.
Click to expand...

One of my best old friends swung by just a few days ago. He was one of those I was sure I had lost all contact with, for good. We went for a ride in his car, we went to some cool WW2 German anti-air battery ruins, overgrown, with little hiking paths and information plaques, and as if the man had not grown a day since childhood, he went "oh, brb, gotta poop!" I'm all "what - NO!"
he just skips behind one of the ruins, squats right down, like a fucking animal, and shits right there - he even continues to talk to me from there

I missed that guy
 
Self-improvement can become an addiction.

All yous guys that think you're socially awkward for whatever reason really need to just get a job in the service industry. A restaurant, a bar, a fucking ice-cream place. What I'm saying is, force yourself to be around people. I went through a terrible depression that lasted like 5 years and eventually I had enough of that life and it was incredibly awkward to re-engage with society again. I had speech impediments, anxiety around people, the whole nine yards to the point where if I went to see a head doctor he would have prescribed some drug or other to numb that all away while the cycle perpetuated itself. Nnnno.

That anxiety is completely natural when you don't engage with other humans. And talking on the internet is not being with other humans. It's pseudo-socialization. It won't ever be enough. I'm not giving advice that I'm making up. This was my life. It did not happen over night, it took at least 6 months, but I'm recalling closer to a year. The stutter went away, the awkward pause mid-sentence went away, my dry dick got wet again in vaginal fluid.

That self-defeating facet of my personality, when it comes to socialization, is completely gone now. Your best hope is to meet someone friendly who can coax it out of you, little by little.

To sum it up:
In regards to how you view yourself socially, beware of giving too many fucks.
 
Maybe needless to add, but it's no universal solution! Not everyone with anxiety have it out of lack of experience in social situations, many but not all!
I worked in a turk-import supermarket, as well as served my mandatory serve-or-go-to-jail Norwegian military - which was full of people, all the time people, day and night people

It neither worsened nor improved much, except that stress-while-around-people was more frequent than usual

One thing that surprised me in the military, was how naggy and complainy eeeveryone else was. I was always "the wuss", according to everyone growing up, for not being a douchy jocky competitive brawler in primary school, rather the opposite, but in the military they became the biggest babies of all "waaah, I worked sooo haaard and the sarge didn't even tell me how well I did!", they would take it personally when the sarge snapped at them, and stuff "b-but D:"
They never got any praise, but me, I'm jogging half dead at the END - behind everyone, and the sarge tells me I'm going a good job :v yeah right, cus that's what it means to be last, but still, ha! :v
There were TWO guys in the entire camp that were more useless than me. I know, I sniffed them out, and kept them close to me.
(three, if we count the Saami guy, but he was really tough, he just didn't want to do anything, and used his minority status and annoying charm to rebel against the system.)
Officers still liked me tho, cus I'd take instructions like a robot.
 
Last edited:
I think I have a legit physical condition with crowds, I have no problem talking to people, I do get really quiet if I am bored or not enjoying the current company, kind of passive agressive behavior I know, but when I am surrounded by crowds I always start getting panick attacks, like I start sweating, my heart rate accelerate and my breathing gets heavy, whole body starts itching too. Being taller than most (1.90 mts) doesn't help as it makes me stand out even more.
 
Fucking bootcamp is that way so you don't become a little bitch when bullets are flying over your head and you watch your best friend get his head blown off. Hardly the social situation of serving a lobster roll with a smile.
 
mobucks said:
Fucking bootcamp is that way so you don't become a little bitch when bullets are flying over your head and you watch your best friend get his head blown off. Hardly the social situation of serving a lobster roll with a smile.
Click to expand...

Not only that, but it bonds. When the sarge yells and barks at everybody, regardless of how well they do, he ensures that there are no divisions within the group, nobody is "best at football" or whatever - because nobody gets their efforts acknowledged. I observed the attempt of a typically insecure bully type (the kind who tries to rally a lot of others behind him), but the environment simply didn't work in his favor. He tried going solo for a while, but his intended victim could also detect his lack of backup, so he got ballsy in return - all while nobody really took any sides - very unlike a school environment, from which most of the troops come directly from. In the end, the bully-boy and the would-be-victim-but-turned-out-to-be-one-of-those-awesome-rare-weirdos (radio collector and elvis song memorizer) ended up besties, and "elvis" got his first drunk on
 
I have to confess something... I'm addicted to chocking the chicken... Tis a terrible plight.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top