Fallout Haiku

How to get to base?
Infiltrate! Oh, storm the gate!
Load the cannons! Fire!

There is a rather obvious reference to a certain rock band in this one, so if anyone guesses it, you could post a side-haiku about that, but since it's Fallout, let's keep it Fallout and make it... playing with a stupid character.
 
Damn this guy is dumb,
He has the mind of a child.
Oh well, eat my fists!

Next : The Solar Scorcher and its applications in your everyday life.
 
So, it was a reference to Tenacious D's "Break In-City". Tadaaah. And now for the haiku thingy.

Helps you fry chicken
Incinerate your boss, too
THE Solar Scorcher

Next one: rubber Tandi doll and its applications in your everyday life - WITHOUT the sex undertone ;) (Evil me is!)
 
She could wear my clothes,
And serve as a mannequin,
If I propped her up.

Also:

Without the sexing?
That's just insane, she was cute!
Until she got old...

Next : How pissed off were you when your car got stolen in New Reno?
 
Next : How pissed off were you when your car got stolen in New Reno?
Click to expand...

Where's this goddamn car?
Wait Jules... You've just said T-Ray?
Forget the speech skill.


next : Merk sold you a fake V13 map. hehe.
 
Finally, the Vault!
But... where the hell IS the Vault?
I want my money!

Then shoot Merk. I always liked doing that. All right, then, next one... Dave from the Vault 13! (You know, the uncle-decapitated-by-a-watermelon guy).
 
Heh, way to go dude,
You broke the Fallout haiku.
Who the hell is Dave?

Next : Seriously, someone do that Dave one.. is he in Fallout 1 or 2?
 
In Fallout 2, Vault 13, there was this guy in the middle nothern room on the second level... he greeted you with a story of how his whole family, including himself as well, had undergone various disasters, his uncle having been decapitated by a watermelon and all this. Since no one is actually eager for it, let me introduce you...

Dave! The fortunate
Accident every new year
That's what they call luck

All right, I hope you'll rock the next one:
Deathclaw killing spree for xp in the Boneyard in FO1 (including maybe a comment on the sea of blood you always create there killing them).
 
Ohhhhh! Damn, I know who you're talking about now...

Anyway:

All these mutant newts,
They can't slice through MY armour...
Knee-deep in the dead!

Next : Your shotgun wedding experience in Fallout 2! And possibly: Did you just kill her afterward to avoid the baggage?
 
1) The shotgun wedding
'Till death do us part...
Has someone just said no? No?
You may kiss your... spouse.

2) Afterthoughts...
Should have picked Miria
This guy stinks of cow semen!
Ah, draw my Magnum!

And by the way, have you ever though of the Fallout haiku contest here? That could be fun, I suppose. Every participant would receive a few topics (same for everyone), a deadline until which to post them, and then a committee would been chosen (or prior to the whole thing) to judge them. The winner could receive an eblem for their signature or something, maybe a special title under their nick. Should there be draw, next (smaller) set of topics would be given, and so on. What do you think? ;)

Now that I'm sure you read it because you looked for the next topic in my post... now I can post it :P
The weird tree thingy on Harold's head in FO2.
 
You must pronounce Miria differently than I do, I count 6 syllables in the first line of the second haiku...

Also, a contest could be pretty fun, though a more significant prize than a different tag might be necessary, since a lot of people already have tags that they're probably pretty happy with and you could likely get yours changed easily if you asked nicely enough...

But moving on:

Hey, Vault City wants...
Is that a TREE in your HEAD?!
Yes? Well... moving on...

also

A tiny tree found,
Growing strong in the wasteland.
Out of this dudes skull...

Next : The ludicrously infested lower deck of the oil tanker you take to the Enclave in FO2. (I was level 20 around then, so maybe it just autolevelled for me, but there is no way that there would be people alive on the upper decks with all those uber-beasts living down there).
 
Yeah, some people pronounce it like "Mi-ri-a", while I pronounce it "Mi-ria", that's probably because I'm from Poland. I had the same problem with Yamu's "aliens" a little higher up in this thread ;) Well then, make it "Should've picked Miria". You have 5 again.

Anyway, I'll think of setting up a topic for the contest, but as for now, someone post the next haiku, I almost feel like I'm spamming here.
 
Corpses rot slowly
That's what you idiots get
Shitting in my boat

Next: Master and Morpheus
 
Wow, they've got problems.
What's wrong with their brains, I ask.
.... Is that a TV?!?!?

Next: getting caught with Mordino's daughter.
 
Big mouth and small tits
'What the hell are you doing?'
Crap, where is my gun?


Next: the electric floor from the Enclave base
 
I feel high.
No, it's not Jet.
I smell a barbecue near.

Next: Critical hit with Gauss in the eyes
 
Scream fades to silence
I look at my enemy
Whose head is missing

Next: Chuck, the Fortune Teller (Adytum)
 
Next: That crazy guy singing in Vault City
Click to expand...

Thennnnn what willllllllll youuuu dooooooooooooo?
Mayyyyybeeeee you'llllll sit and siiiiigh, wish----
innnnnng that I weeeeeeere near...


Next : You kick Lenny's supermutant ass in the NCR (he's in the Rawhide Saloon).
 
Packs a nasty punch
No audience in this ring
I am the greatest

Next: Evil characters killing both Smiley and Torr
 
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