Fallout_Boy
First time out of the vault
![](https://www.nma-fallout.com/xencustomimages/nma/nma_0.gif)
Hey Fallout_Boy, welcome to the party!
Thanks, I'm a bit late though. I was a bit hesitant until now and up to the ranger base it was just little things, almost all of which have been reported here.
Would it be possible to write suggestions directly in the text files on Github? I'm not familiar with this site, but it would make things easier if we had the complete dialog tree and could edit/mark specific lines. All proposed changes then only need to be approved by you so that there is no mess.
I already finished everything related to the rangers, but I had smaller issues with almost all dialogue. For example switching between she/he when actually talking about an 'it'. I have a backup save, so I can go back after this playthrough and give some more specific input. One thing I remember from the top of my head is that most people refer to the Central Arizona Project as an aqueduct, which may be correct but I still was a little confused and had to look it up. But maybe it's just poorly introduced?
This area just feels different than all the other place I've been to so far. The amount of quests is insane compared to other sections. Initially I liked the snappy Fallout 1 style writing for a change, but this shift is a little too rough after all this verbose, descriptive writing that comes before. On the other hand, it doesn't feel right to change the authors vision just because I see things differently.
Nevertheless, I still have a couple of things form other sections:
01: Instead of 'pathologies' I would suggest using 'condition' or 'symptoms'.
02: 'Nothing' should actually mean 'Nevermind'. I would change the line to: 'Nevermind, I can understand that you don't trust a stranger just like that'. I'm no native speaker, but I think the line may be gramatically correct, it's just that nobody talks like this. Also: 'Hard, I guess?' -> 'Not an easy job, I suppose?' or 'Tough job, I suppose?'
03: 'A heavy weight rests on Alvaro's shoulders. He's responsible for this settlement/city, simply because there is no one else to do it. You shouldn't cause him any more problems.' (Not sure if this place qualifies as a city, but this is how it is usually referred to, so this could cause quite a lot of continuity errors)
04: I don't know how a village can be 'seasonal', but I think something like 'That's all, expect a few small villages and outposts here and there. They come and go, hardly worth noticing.' should be more fitting.
05: This guy seems to have a poetic disposition. I guess it sound good in russian, but translates badly into english. 'Foolish puffers' or 'circular ciculation' just don't work, but I have no idea how to fix it. Maybe a native speaker or someone prone to more flowery expressions can help here.
06: Another he/she mix up. NPC refering to a she, PC to a he. I think this should also refer to an it? I'll see after finishing the quest.
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