Sigh (WARNING "Pro-drug" rant incoming)
This really frustrates me - but hear me out:
I smoke, okay, that's not the point - but it kindov is - and I'm getting there - - when I was swamped in social-welfare-whatevs-workers they were throwing every suggestion at me that they could, wether or not it was relevant. We were finally in a meeting with my personal doctor, with the autism expert, with my stepmother (I bring her as moral support, she is very balanced) and a few others. They threw at me "oh, and stop smoking weed" and I told them "and replace it with what, exactly? Booze?" - silence.
Those motherfuckers... that was what they actually thought I should replace it with - BOOZE!
I told them - fuck that, and fuck their sense of moral, fuck the law, and fuck all of them - cus THEY "work hard all week" then go RIGHT home and self-medicate with "a glass or two" in the weekend, fuck them, they're Norwegians, it's more like a bottle or three, THEY guzzle coffee all day - I don't!
Eventually, the autism expert took my side, and told the whole panel to just stop hastling me about it - that I have a good fucking point, that my life sucks on a general basis, and that a bit of weed is MY "weekend", my "relief", and that PRACTICALLY SPEAKING it is
much better than me being unemployed, and boozing.
They did not agree, but they shut their mouths about it, and I am grateful for that. I am still baffled that they STILL felt I should rather end up a liver-less alkie, than break the law a little...
NOW... I'm a logical guy. I'm a no-bullshit guy. If someone tells me crap, I tell them back. My brother is not very logical. He punches problems, but isn't a very good thinker. He also does not self-medicate like I self-medicate, he goes "WOHOO!" and drugs himself with everything. For years I tried to explain to him - look - cut all that shit out, you KNOW what you can rely on in the end - get a lil high - and make rap beats. He used to do that. We're a creative family, we all have skills, and he does too, and he makes killer beats.
But they fiiinally got to him... he is now ... drinking. Drinking, drinking and drinking, and he is
worse than ever BUT HEY, HE ISN'T BREAKING THE LAW ANYMORE (except when he gets drunk, smashes his whole - WHOLE apartment - beats the fuck out of people, and causes huge hysterical dramas on a monthly basis, but hey, lol, drunk people, amirite ;D)
He is SO convinced now, he has to convince ME, because of psychology - if he has to live by this - everyone else has to... I don't know what the fffuck they told him in REHAB - but this was how he summarized it to me:
"Weed tortures your mind - it's horrible torture, even if you never feel tortured, that's what it does! While alcohol, sure, it kills you physically, but what do you prefer - a tortured mind - for life? Or a failing organ that doesn't even hurt - and then death, that doesn't hurt either?"
THAT... is what he came out of rehab thinking...
I am so furious...