Per...
That was outstanding!
That was outstanding!
Relationship Hilarity by none other than The Vault Dweller!
- Thread starter The Vault Dweller
- Start date
The Vault Dweller
always looking for water.
...AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!
No wait...that...cant be true! Can it?
If it is...no it...urgh!
Regardless...Per...I dont care if you made fun of me indirectly. That was one of the funniest things Ive EVER seen! I congratulate you...someone give this man a reward!
In the meantime Im gonna go cut my penis off so I dont feel guilty about missing out on sex in the future...
:idea: ,
The Vault Dweller
The_Vault_Dweller said:
Make Odin use the Santa hat avatar and I'll consider it my reward.
The_Vault_Dweller said:
Like this?
(From here.)
No, it's just full of ugly girls.Jebus said:
(Yes, with a few prettier ones. Still largely ugly ones, though).
Per: that absolutely rocked.
The Vault Dweller
always looking for water.
Your making me laugh harder Per...though I wont kill myself Ive also decided not to lose my penis since Im not Romanian...
So you people keep discussing stuff (where are all the Orderites?) and I'll post my last story next week...
(hopefully after that I wont have to update this anymore)
,
The Vault Dweller
So you people keep discussing stuff (where are all the Orderites?) and I'll post my last story next week...
(hopefully after that I wont have to update this anymore)
,The Vault Dweller
The Vault Dweller
always looking for water.
The third and (hopefully) final story in the saga begins!
It was my first year in college. In the anime club there that I attended was run by three girls one of which seemed exceptionally nice to me. She was beautiful in my idea of it. I mean I dont like to judge people physically, but I cant help but to have preferences for certain things. She had those. Red hair, blue eyes, and a few freckles. The hair came all the way down to her waist even. Oh and she dressed like a tomboy. She was also interested in the same things I was; gaming, anime, and tabletop rpg's. She was even going to college to become a Veterinarian which I think is commendable. (Im a Biologist) So one day Im really nice to her after getting to know her a bit...it was a day she wasnt leaving the college until in the evening and both me and her were done with classes around noon. I spent most of that afternoon talking and doing various things with her. So at one point she says she tired and she lies down on the seat across from me (were in booths in the cafeteria) and I just start reading while she rests. Then abruptly and without telling me she gets up and comes to my side of the booth. There she sits down and lays her head on my shoulder and (I think) went back to sleep. I sat there. A million thoughts entered and left my head. I wanted to try and provide comfort, but when I asked "Would you like some sort of pillow?" she said "No its alright.". So I just let her stay there hoping thats what she wanted. I obviously knew she wanted to be more than friends. I just didnt know how to go about it. I dont know how much time went by, but eventually she got up. It was time for her to leave (she was going with friends) and we exchanged pleasantries. I hoped to see her again...
(and thats only the first half of this story)
So the girls name was pronounced "Caillen". I had never seen it spelled and I know from a book of names the male version is Caillen and the female is Kaeylin. I had no idea which name it was...
(that fact becomes relevant later in the story)
That was the last meeting of the anime club before summer break and I wasnt going to see any of them including Caillen until next year. Fortunately her friend (one of the other two girls running the club whom I knew online) said I could read her Livejournal for fun and that Caillen often made remarks there. So I did and found out Caillen is one of her net friends with her own Livejournal. Also that the name of her user name is "Caillen" thus leaving me to decide it is not "Kaelyn". So I go and read all of Caillen's journal entry's and learn more about her then I use to know by leaps and bounds. She liked not just games, but rpg's mostly. She not only watched anime, but wrote fanfictions. (so she's dedicated) She also likes to use Linux...thats right...a chick that can use Linux?! (drools)
So I find her AIM name and we talk for a whole month. Everything about her is the same as I knew her in real life. So one day were talking and I break it to her. I tell her how much I like her and everything and how bad I felt about what happened. She started giving weird short responses like "Oh" or "Thats nice." So I finally ask "I know you live in New Jersey not far from the Pennsylvania border...would you mind if I came to visit you or just talked to you on the phone?" Suddenly a great burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I realised now I had politely and honestly asked a female to meet me and enjoy life together. The possibilities filled my head...then;
-Her: "You live on the East Coast of the United States?"
-Me: "Yes of course."
-Her: "Well you seem nice and all...however I live in the Phillippines."
My heart wretched in a vile throb of deadened glee. WTF!? How could she live there...I actually asked if she was sure and she said she was more or less correct.
Later I had a chat with Nancy the one girl whom I knew Caillen through online one of the other girls who helped run the anime club. I told her the whole thing...it turns out she has two friends named Caillen...one on the internet who happens to have a livejournal and likes the same anime's she does and one from real life who she occasionally chats with and helps run the anime club. Turns out I met the "wrong" Caillen...the online one with the livejournal. In a desperate attempt to meet the real "Caillen" I then ask about her how I can contact her. Well it turns out the Caillen I wanted moved to Los Angeles over the Summer...to Pasadena near where I used to live! Thinking all is lost I asked for an email. It turns out they werent really good friends and when she left they never emailed one another...so she cut the address out one day while purging the excessive amounts of names she gets online.
-Nancy: By the way...didnt you know she wasnt called "Caillen"? Thats a scottish boys name you know. The only reason my one friend has it is, because she left Hong-Kong before the Communists took over and went to the Phillippines where they have jobs for people that can teach English. She did grow up in a family that had some British ties from way back...hence the name. Oh that and she's a tomboy.
-Me: What was the name of the girl I knew then?
-Nancy: Oh thats easy...Kaelyn[/b].
Seriously. First I miss out on asking to do something interesting with her. Second I get her name wrong and end up talking to someone halfway across the world. Third I find out she moved back to where I use to live, but dont live anymore. Finally I cant even have her email since it was deleted just before I asked about it.
Hehehehehe...ahahaahahahahaha. Hahahahaha! Muwahahalllllllllrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg...
:toilet: ,
The Vault Dweller
It was my first year in college. In the anime club there that I attended was run by three girls one of which seemed exceptionally nice to me. She was beautiful in my idea of it. I mean I dont like to judge people physically, but I cant help but to have preferences for certain things. She had those. Red hair, blue eyes, and a few freckles. The hair came all the way down to her waist even. Oh and she dressed like a tomboy. She was also interested in the same things I was; gaming, anime, and tabletop rpg's. She was even going to college to become a Veterinarian which I think is commendable. (Im a Biologist) So one day Im really nice to her after getting to know her a bit...it was a day she wasnt leaving the college until in the evening and both me and her were done with classes around noon. I spent most of that afternoon talking and doing various things with her. So at one point she says she tired and she lies down on the seat across from me (were in booths in the cafeteria) and I just start reading while she rests. Then abruptly and without telling me she gets up and comes to my side of the booth. There she sits down and lays her head on my shoulder and (I think) went back to sleep. I sat there. A million thoughts entered and left my head. I wanted to try and provide comfort, but when I asked "Would you like some sort of pillow?" she said "No its alright.". So I just let her stay there hoping thats what she wanted. I obviously knew she wanted to be more than friends. I just didnt know how to go about it. I dont know how much time went by, but eventually she got up. It was time for her to leave (she was going with friends) and we exchanged pleasantries. I hoped to see her again...
(and thats only the first half of this story)
So the girls name was pronounced "Caillen". I had never seen it spelled and I know from a book of names the male version is Caillen and the female is Kaeylin. I had no idea which name it was...
(that fact becomes relevant later in the story)
That was the last meeting of the anime club before summer break and I wasnt going to see any of them including Caillen until next year. Fortunately her friend (one of the other two girls running the club whom I knew online) said I could read her Livejournal for fun and that Caillen often made remarks there. So I did and found out Caillen is one of her net friends with her own Livejournal. Also that the name of her user name is "Caillen" thus leaving me to decide it is not "Kaelyn". So I go and read all of Caillen's journal entry's and learn more about her then I use to know by leaps and bounds. She liked not just games, but rpg's mostly. She not only watched anime, but wrote fanfictions. (so she's dedicated) She also likes to use Linux...thats right...a chick that can use Linux?! (drools)
So I find her AIM name and we talk for a whole month. Everything about her is the same as I knew her in real life. So one day were talking and I break it to her. I tell her how much I like her and everything and how bad I felt about what happened. She started giving weird short responses like "Oh" or "Thats nice." So I finally ask "I know you live in New Jersey not far from the Pennsylvania border...would you mind if I came to visit you or just talked to you on the phone?" Suddenly a great burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I realised now I had politely and honestly asked a female to meet me and enjoy life together. The possibilities filled my head...then;
-Her: "You live on the East Coast of the United States?"
-Me: "Yes of course."
-Her: "Well you seem nice and all...however I live in the Phillippines."
My heart wretched in a vile throb of deadened glee. WTF!? How could she live there...I actually asked if she was sure and she said she was more or less correct.
Later I had a chat with Nancy the one girl whom I knew Caillen through online one of the other girls who helped run the anime club. I told her the whole thing...it turns out she has two friends named Caillen...one on the internet who happens to have a livejournal and likes the same anime's she does and one from real life who she occasionally chats with and helps run the anime club. Turns out I met the "wrong" Caillen...the online one with the livejournal. In a desperate attempt to meet the real "Caillen" I then ask about her how I can contact her. Well it turns out the Caillen I wanted moved to Los Angeles over the Summer...to Pasadena near where I used to live! Thinking all is lost I asked for an email. It turns out they werent really good friends and when she left they never emailed one another...so she cut the address out one day while purging the excessive amounts of names she gets online.
-Nancy: By the way...didnt you know she wasnt called "Caillen"? Thats a scottish boys name you know. The only reason my one friend has it is, because she left Hong-Kong before the Communists took over and went to the Phillippines where they have jobs for people that can teach English. She did grow up in a family that had some British ties from way back...hence the name. Oh that and she's a tomboy.
-Me: What was the name of the girl I knew then?
-Nancy: Oh thats easy...Kaelyn[/b].
Seriously. First I miss out on asking to do something interesting with her. Second I get her name wrong and end up talking to someone halfway across the world. Third I find out she moved back to where I use to live, but dont live anymore. Finally I cant even have her email since it was deleted just before I asked about it.
Hehehehehe...ahahaahahahahaha. Hahahahaha! Muwahahalllllllllrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg...
:toilet: ,
The Vault Dweller
...
Vault Dweller, I like you a lot, everything I tell you I say with best of intentions and absolutely no hidden malice, I consider you one of the nicest, kindest and funniest members of this forum, but Vault Dweller, my friend... YOU SUCK!
Vault Dweller, I like you a lot, everything I tell you I say with best of intentions and absolutely no hidden malice, I consider you one of the nicest, kindest and funniest members of this forum, but Vault Dweller, my friend... YOU SUCK!
*Hands VD a bottle of beer*
There there, sonny. Don't let it get to you...
And hey- since she's Philippine anyway, can't you just mail-order her and have her shipped over?
There there, sonny. Don't let it get to you...
And hey- since she's Philippine anyway, can't you just mail-order her and have her shipped over?
Why? She is probably ugly as hell.
Vault-Dweller
First time out of the vault
I think everyone's been in a absolutely champion situation with the opposite sex, and had it utterly ruined by something totally random.
Mine was a possible threesome, with two absolute stunners (one of whom is now my girlfriend, but that is irrelevant to the story).
Things were getting pretty hjeavy at a party we were at, so we decided to migrate to a Children's playground a ways down the road (it was the middle of the night, so It was alright). And, for one reason or another, one of my friends randomly got pissed about it, and pooched the whole deal. Ironically, of the two of them, it was the one without the boyfriend who the friend was concerned with. Just my fucking luck
Mine was a possible threesome, with two absolute stunners (one of whom is now my girlfriend, but that is irrelevant to the story).
Things were getting pretty hjeavy at a party we were at, so we decided to migrate to a Children's playground a ways down the road (it was the middle of the night, so It was alright). And, for one reason or another, one of my friends randomly got pissed about it, and pooched the whole deal. Ironically, of the two of them, it was the one without the boyfriend who the friend was concerned with. Just my fucking luck
Dude. When a girl lays her head on your shoulder, don't ask if she wants a pillow.
Wooz said:
Seconded.
Just pull back your shoulder so her head slides downward.
I have yet to experience to get very close to real ultimate sex and then miss out in a tragic while still comic way. Once I missed out on sex with my first gf by accidently biting her in the lip due to the severity of my arousement, but that was just annoying since I would get to score her like normal the day after. Oh, and once when Kety called in the middle of the night looking for some humpty dumpty, I was sick and couldn't.
Vault-Dweller
First time out of the vault
Luke said:
That would want to have been one big bastard of a sickness
The Vault Dweller
always looking for water.
Jebus said:
I couldnt of done that. If he did she would have...impaled her head...on...something...
Luke said:
Yikes. You like it rough dont you?
@ Vault-Dweller: Too bad. I guess it happens to everyone though huh? At least I feel a little better now.
: ,The Vault Dweller [/quote]
The_Vault_Dweller said:
Yeah, that's ehm... kinda the point.
Tsjeh.
INTERIOR, CAILLEN'S PLACE, NIGHT
CAILLEN is a hot babe talking on the phone. We know she's a hot babe since the casting department dredged up some really hot babe for the part.
CAILLEN: You live on the East Coast of the United States?
She cautiously peeks out through the blinds at a window a few houses down the street, where the unsuspecting silhouette of the VAULT DWELLER is clearly visible.
CAILLEN: Well you seem nice and all, however, I live in, er... (closes her eyes and points randomly in an atlas, then looks) the Philippines. Yeah. (looks closer at the atlas) Yes, more or less correct. (to herself, peering at the map) Could be closer to Indonesia, though... No, nothing. Look, I should hang up, I have to, er, get to the storm shelter. Old volcano's acting up again. Yeah, I meant volcano shelter. It's... uh, lava proof? Oh, did I say volcano? I meant typhoon, of course, we use the storm shelter for those, really gotta go now, God, here it comes now, whoosh, whoosh, bye!
She hangs up hastily. Then inhales. And exhales. Then goes on to make a call.
CAILLEN: Hey, Nancy? I need you to cover for me a little. Congratulations, you now have two friends named Caillen or thereabouts. The one of them that's me lives in, er... (consults atlas again) the Philippines, and the other, I don't know, uh, California maybe. Yeah, that'll work. Pasadena's perfect, yeah! And you didn't keep her email addy or anything. You will, really? You are such a sweetie. Pay you back sometime when you need to put a cap in the ass of an old boyfriend or something. Yeah. (pouts) Weeeell, I don't know, he's sorta sweet and all, but... did you read on NMA what he did to those other girls? Yeah, I mean, really! I'm not walking down that road, let me tell you! (moves the phone to her other ear and sits back comfortably) But do you know who's like the total hunk? Jebus and Dove! Yeah!! If only they weren't both gay!! I am so looking forward to playing that Civ 3 mod. Hey, that's weird, someone's posting about me right now.
