WTF? Chung just sacked Henne...
...
...and then shoved him. Directly in front of a ref. Like, a foot away. And no call. And they're in MIAMI. Bellichizz have everybody paid off these days or what?
Weekend 1 thoughts:
Bal v. Pit -
Holy shit was this not what I expected. But you have to love seeing a rapist lose a SuperBowel and then get raped themselves in game one directly after. As many turnovers as points scored. God, that was funny as shit.
Atl v. Chi -
Geez. Seriously, Dirty Birds? 12 fucking points? Jesus, how did we ever lose to this team (aside from Rodgers fumbling in the fucking endzone GAH!) again? Anyway, I'm conficted. Part of me wants to think "Bah, who cares we did even better against 'em last time we saw 'em" but the other half of me is thinking "Shitfuck is the Bears D actually that serious?" I mean, they looked good. Not 1985 good, but good.
Cin v. Cle -
I just want those lil' plain an' non-stripey orangehelmets to get a good team sometime soon.
Ind v. Hou -
Two teams you couldn't pay me to give a single flying fuck about. Well, except for me hating the fuck out of Manning and his stupid fucking face on his stupid fucking commercials and his stupid fucking attitude toward his own teammates when things aren't going his way. So yeah, fuck him and good riddance and lol at your team relying on you so heavily.
Ten v. Jac -
Man. You thought I couldn't care less about the last two teams? You were god-DAMN wrong! These are two teams I care less about than the previous two. I mean, neither even existed when I was a kid. Fuck these n00b teams and their relentlessly and perpetually boring-assed teams. And you know what? While I'm at it can I just say I'd laugh my ass off if a camera suddenly panned to Jack Del Rio on fire? God that would be amazing.
Buf v. KC
Holy shit again! Man. Buffalo, eh? Right on. I love seeing old-school teams who've been shitty for a long time play great games. Here's to hoping they win their division. Go Buffalo!
Phi v. StL
Guh. I was honestly hoping the Rams might at least give them more of a fight just to shut the media up with their "Dream Team" nonsense. Vick will wear out and fail half-way through the season. I promise you all. And fuck him. If he does they should put him in a room with dogs who haven't been fed for a week and smear raw meat on him. Fuck him.
Det v. Tam
Sorry Sander, but while I was sorta pulling for TB to keep GB on top...I'm actually kinda stoked on the ol' rusty Lions having a good season for once in my lifetime. Remember how Barry Sanders was the best thing that ever fucking happened to any sport ever? Well, yeah. I do. And I'm stoked to see the Lions win a game on a pretty up and coming team.
Car v. Ari
Fuck you Cam Newton, chill out. My team gotta play you next week and we was expectin' a pretty yawnful afternoon. Fuck you, man. Come on you dumb rookie. Chill out, just chill out.
Min v. SD
Heheh. Fuck off, 'Queens. Keep losing. Sorry, Nabbernuts, I loved ya as an Eagle but now I hate you and your previous team. You'll all die painfully during every minute of this season. Welcome to the bottom of the NFC North, fellas. Too bad ol' Turncoat McGee is too old and shattered for ya. Also: I am just never, ever going to be convinced of Rivers and SD and their supposed relevance.
Sea v. SF
How could a game with this kind of score have been this boring? I can't even th----zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
NVG v. WAS
Damn! Rex friggin' Grossman? Seriously? Haha. Ok. That's kinda cool, actually. I wouldn't mind seeing another competitive 'Skins team. Right on. Cheers, ugly color jersey brothers!
Dal v. NYJ
How can two teams who look so shitty not both lose? Jesus I want both teams to die in a plane crash involving both of their team planes.
EDIT: Oh, man. I just heard Gruden apologize for "using an inappropriate word and I hope nobody was offended by that word...etc" and it was awkward AS FUCK. Did anybody catch what it was he said?!