The Ultimate Movie Thread of Ultimate Destiny

SnapSlav said:
...I wasn't sure how thoroughly I COULD analyze the film or any of the rest of the series, because really, it's mostly "Kate Beckinsale is hot, so let's watch her be hot wearing hot clothes which accentuate that she's hot, shall we?"
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Sounds to me like you understand Underworld perfectly. And Van Helsing too.

Kate's quite cute in the Kenneth Branagh version of Much Ado About Nothing. She was pretty young then.
 
Went last night to watch Grand Hotel Budapest. Great movie, one that shows that the medium is still kicking hard. It's the perfect example of a script that speaks for itself as opposed to using a bunch of effectist shit.
 
UniversalWolf said:
SnapSlav said:
...I wasn't sure how thoroughly I COULD analyze the film or any of the rest of the series, because really, it's mostly "Kate Beckinsale is hot, so let's watch her be hot wearing hot clothes which accentuate that she's hot, shall we?"
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Sounds to me like you understand Underworld perfectly.
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Well, I mean, I really DO think there's some substance to the movies as their own encapsulated universe with its own rules, as per their depiction of virus/infection-based Vampires and Werewolves, versus the traditional supernatural sort. There's plenty of points to consider about how their anatomies work, how their social structures exist, their explained historical development, and how they now fit into the modern world. For instance, that the Vampire Coven Selene belongs to owning major medical corporations that "skim off the top" of all blood transfusion donations, thus how they satiate their thirsts while remaining incognito. Nifty little detail, which I found amusing. Of course there's more to the films, and overall I kinda liked the first two.

But it was when I tried delving deeper into their flaws, their loopholes, plotholes, holes of any kind (giggity giggidy?) and inconsistencies that I couldn't shake the feeling that there was more looming over the films than convenience and plot contrivances. Oh, sure, this one character has lived for roughly 2 millenia, but now that he's shared a dramatic confrontation scene with the main character, let's just throw out 2000 years of convention and countless lifetimes of having resolves to keep on living because he's conveniently decided that now's the perfect time to end his own life. Makes PERFECT sense! Sure, that was a glaringly poorly-written plot point, but there were greater problems plaguing the series than moments like that.

I just came to the conclusion that it was the series' obsession with Kate Beckinsale as a carnal focus that seemed to explain it all. It was just glorification of her amazing assets, in tight glistening leather-covered latex with obligatory corset for no reason. I could dwell on how their combat in the films was gimmicky at times, and inconsistent at other times, but then come short as this is indicative of all movies everywhere. I could fixate on the sexualization of this pseudo-goth lifetstyle. I could nitpick on how EVERYONE feels compelled to wear black for some unexplained reason. But it would be missing the point that the films had their failsafe in place for any and all of these potential dilemmas, all along. Kate Beckinsale is hot, let's dress her up to be even more visually hot, let's give her a unique variation of supposedly-standard combat techniques that routinely pose and land her in hot manners, and for God's sake SHE'S HOT!!!
 
Watched Jacob's Ladder recently, and it was nice, nice creeps, nice confusing story

One thing was left unclear to me tho
He has the plot revealed to him, by the "head chemist", but then it turns out this was all in his mind. So... there could just as well have been no chemist, no drugs, you only see his flashbacks inside his hallucination, so, it could have been an open ending, where a soldier dies from a normal enemy rifle round, but concocts this fantasy in his mind while dying - except! The very ending makes a point out of mentioning the real existence of drug-programs in the US military during the Vietnam war. So... most likely we're just dealing w a big plot-hole there, where he has no way of knowing about chemists or drugs, but yet has the correct chemist in his dream explaining to him correctly about the drug.
 
You mentioned van Helsing, UniversalWolf. I had heard that that movie has a scene where a horse drawn carriage falls of a cliff and it produces an explosion. That is like, the b-movie-est thing I've ever heard of.
 
Akratus said:
You mentioned van Helsing, UniversalWolf. I had heard that that movie has a scene where a horse drawn carriage falls of a cliff and it produces an explosion. That is like, the b-movie-est thing I've ever heard of.
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Yep, it's true. The explosion is quite fabulous though, being a lot more than just a simple explosion, but I won't tell more.


I don't know why, but I like that film. I mean, like it. It's a really crappy film, very cheesy at moments, and has plenty of scenes which exploit the look of female actors (mainly Beckinsale's - but far less than it is done in Underworld) and ridiculous over-the-top CGI or rather, solid CGI in over-the-top sequences.
But I don't know why, maybe because it's one of those rare few modern "vampire" films where vampires are actually shown as dangerous bastards (same goes for werewolves), because Helsing's arsenal is awesome, because music ain't that bad, because it has a load of B-movie elements and knows it (I'd actually label it as a full-blown self-aware B-movie)...

Would I recommend it to a regular viewer? Hell no.
Would I recommend it to someone who just wants to drink beer and watch a film to kill some time? Hell yeah. Totally worth it.
 
zegh8578 said:
^that made my day, and it's early morning!
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Enthiran is quite an experience, mostly because it's 3 hours of insanity, it even has a scene with talking mosquitoes and a musical number that takes palce in Machu Pichu but the lyrics talk about Mount Kilimanjaro.... Yeah... Bollywood.
 
Akratus said:
You mentioned van Helsing, UniversalWolf. I had heard that that movie has a scene where a horse drawn carriage falls of a cliff and it produces an explosion. That is like, the b-movie-est thing I've ever heard of.
Click to expand...
Hmm...Van Helsing. Went to see that in a theater the summer it came out. I figured, "Kate Beckinsale, Hugh Jackman, vampires...this has to be entertaining, at least." To my surprise I found it really boring. It just never worked for me. I don't hate it, but after I saw it I never really spared it another thought.

As a guilty pleasure you might like it the way Atomkilla does, though.
 
I'm curious. How do you come away from a film that you find bores you and decide to recommend it as a guilty pleasure? Shouldn't that be something that's mindlessly (yet charmingly) entertaining, like, say, The Expendables?
 
Eh, I found both to be very dull. The old action movies these guys were in had quirky and fun situations. Now they just shoot bad guys, with more guns, bigger guns, more explosions. There's no creativity. I mean, the old movies might've been stupid here and there but I feel that the good ones had that creativity in the scenes. Probably because they couldn't just slap on more stars, explosions and cgi to make a scene 'better', they actually had to put in effort.

The expendables just needed more over the top action, no young people in the main cast, and better scripts. Not necessarily great stories, but just write some stuff that fits the actors saying the lines.

There's three movies I watched recently: The Game, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Enemy. I hated all three of them. The story just never got to me. It's like they have these great ideas with terrible execution, in my opinion.

I also saw John dies at the end. I was expecting more to be honest. It has some great scenes, but the stuff around it seemed like dull filler.
 
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Aside from Terminator, I am not that much of a fan of those old 80's/early 90's action movies, they always seemed kinda dull to me, so The Expendables talk to me even less. At least they don't have stupid Chuck Norris jokes...
 
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