Jack The Knife
It Wandered In From the Wastes
The Vault Dweller said:
No, not really. But I do have travel insurance.
I should be traveling more.
The most retarded things you've ever done
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It Wandered In From the Wastes
No, not really. But I do have travel insurance.
I should be traveling more.It was with that exact thing in mind I at a time alone decided to go nudist outside my home where I grew upp. There was noone around and I went for a small stroll in the forest. I was wrong, there were lots of others around, and they decided to suck my................................blood.Yes mosquites! Mosquito bites on the balls is NOT recomended, and not fun. I looked like a madman for the rest of the week either scratching my balls or sitting there twitching trying to ignore the itch of several bites on my genitalia. After that I have only gone naturalist when sure that there were no damned bloodsuckers around.The Vault Dweller said:
Putting perfume in a lamp and then plug it in.
The flash was rather amusing, realizing that I had taken out the electricity was not.
Another one: playing 'repairman' on a broken TV.
For some reason this particular TV refused to show channels from time to time unless you shut it of for a while or twisted the cable.
I decided to open it up to see what was wrong, while it was plugged in of course.
Well me and my mom got to experience what it feels like when a current runs through you.
The flash was rather amusing, realizing that I had taken out the electricity was not.
Another one: playing 'repairman' on a broken TV.
For some reason this particular TV refused to show channels from time to time unless you shut it of for a while or twisted the cable.
I decided to open it up to see what was wrong, while it was plugged in of course.
Well me and my mom got to experience what it feels like when a current runs through you.
Jack The Knife
It Wandered In From the Wastes
Reminds me of when I opened my old camera. It was broken so I took it apart just to see how it looked like.
What I didn't know was that there is something called a condensator in it to charge the flash. And it was charged. Which I got to feel. I almost fell off my chair.
Later I charged it again and tested with a voltmeter. Went to 1200 before it broke. Luckily it contained low ampere. Did hurt a bit, though.
What I didn't know was that there is something called a condensator in it to charge the flash. And it was charged. Which I got to feel. I almost fell off my chair.
Later I charged it again and tested with a voltmeter. Went to 1200 before it broke. Luckily it contained low ampere. Did hurt a bit, though.
*laughs*
I used to take old disposable cameras apart just for that part. Then charge it and toss it to my friends calling out "hey, catch"... Oh the looks on thier faces when the caught it... ZAP!
Eventuslly they figured out what the thing was and where it came from and then they started pulling that on me and other people they knew... In the following years the school actually put a new rule in the "Student Code of Conduct" that specifically outlawed doing this to people...
I used to take old disposable cameras apart just for that part. Then charge it and toss it to my friends calling out "hey, catch"... Oh the looks on thier faces when the caught it... ZAP!
Eventuslly they figured out what the thing was and where it came from and then they started pulling that on me and other people they knew... In the following years the school actually put a new rule in the "Student Code of Conduct" that specifically outlawed doing this to people...
Me and an older friend had been watching some Rally one weekend, and the next day we decided we were going out in the woods near his house for some fun. He had bought himself a Volvo 245 with a turbocharged engine a year earlier, and felt confident in his abilities and the car.
We drove through the woods for a few hours, like madmen, we were pushing the limits further by each run. Then he tried to shift gears in a pretty sharp corner in ~120km/h. We spun out into the woods and hit a few trees.
Thankfully the rollcage absorbed most of the damage, and we crawled out through the windshield, he broke his arm and I was unharmed.
I have'nt been in the same car with him since.
We drove through the woods for a few hours, like madmen, we were pushing the limits further by each run. Then he tried to shift gears in a pretty sharp corner in ~120km/h. We spun out into the woods and hit a few trees.
Thankfully the rollcage absorbed most of the damage, and we crawled out through the windshield, he broke his arm and I was unharmed.
I have'nt been in the same car with him since.
I caught my dick in zipper of my pants. A drop of blood appeared. I was, ohmygodohmygod! It's gonna get infected and i will lose my penis! So i poured iodine tincture on it to sterilize it. I have never felt greater pain in my life.
I was holding a power plug (220V, household) with both of my hands, and i wanted to plug it in a socket. I was little, and in the old days the metal connectors had no insulation near the base. One hand was touching a metal connector at its base, and the other hand was touching the other. Time slows when things like this happen. I felt a burning sensation/pins and needles in my hands, going up through my arms and to my shoulders. Then i realized: ohmygodohmygod! i'm being electrocuted! I pulled back and survived.
Also, when i was little, i was riding my bike through the country site when i got to this big slope which ended in a deep lake. I went downhill fast, and when i reached the half of the slope i was thinking, hey, there's a lake down there! So i took a right turn to avoid falling in (the water surface was 5 - 10 meters lower than the road, and it had rocks and scrap metal in it). The ground was covered with little pebbles, i skidded on them and scraped the ground with my knee, the pebbles ripping my skin and flesh. Blood started flowing out of my wound. I was scared to go home at first because i thought i was gonna get a beating for ruining my knee. Bad part is i had to walk home for like a mile, dragging my bike...I still have a scar and i can't feel a small part of my knee.
One day, in the country side, when i was like 12, i was really bored. Together with one of my cousins! Let's drink. We went to a store, bought 200ml of hard liquor and drank it all in a few hours. We got drunk, we went home and slept like drunkards. The next day we drunk again. Soon, we were out of money, so this neughbour girl comes and says she's got some (she found out about our drinking club and she wanted to join!). Now, we couldn't drink the moonshine that everybody had in their homes, so we sent her off to buy some booze (she was like 10 or 11). She came back with a bottle and we went by a lake to drink it. I took a sip, my cousin took a sip, neighbor girl drank the whole bottle (200ml). After two minutes she was lying face down in the dirt puking.
She had to be taken to the hospital because she was in a coma. After she woke up, her grandmother (an alcoholic) blamed me for all this, because i was the oldest in the group (i was like 12 and she was 10 or 11). She threatened to go to the cops and i threatened to hit her on the head with a big boulder i had in my hands.
I was holding a power plug (220V, household) with both of my hands, and i wanted to plug it in a socket. I was little, and in the old days the metal connectors had no insulation near the base. One hand was touching a metal connector at its base, and the other hand was touching the other. Time slows when things like this happen. I felt a burning sensation/pins and needles in my hands, going up through my arms and to my shoulders. Then i realized: ohmygodohmygod! i'm being electrocuted! I pulled back and survived.
Also, when i was little, i was riding my bike through the country site when i got to this big slope which ended in a deep lake. I went downhill fast, and when i reached the half of the slope i was thinking, hey, there's a lake down there! So i took a right turn to avoid falling in (the water surface was 5 - 10 meters lower than the road, and it had rocks and scrap metal in it). The ground was covered with little pebbles, i skidded on them and scraped the ground with my knee, the pebbles ripping my skin and flesh. Blood started flowing out of my wound. I was scared to go home at first because i thought i was gonna get a beating for ruining my knee. Bad part is i had to walk home for like a mile, dragging my bike...I still have a scar and i can't feel a small part of my knee.
One day, in the country side, when i was like 12, i was really bored. Together with one of my cousins! Let's drink. We went to a store, bought 200ml of hard liquor and drank it all in a few hours. We got drunk, we went home and slept like drunkards. The next day we drunk again. Soon, we were out of money, so this neughbour girl comes and says she's got some (she found out about our drinking club and she wanted to join!). Now, we couldn't drink the moonshine that everybody had in their homes, so we sent her off to buy some booze (she was like 10 or 11). She came back with a bottle and we went by a lake to drink it. I took a sip, my cousin took a sip, neighbor girl drank the whole bottle (200ml). After two minutes she was lying face down in the dirt puking.
She had to be taken to the hospital because she was in a coma. After she woke up, her grandmother (an alcoholic) blamed me for all this, because i was the oldest in the group (i was like 12 and she was 10 or 11). She threatened to go to the cops and i threatened to hit her on the head with a big boulder i had in my hands.
TheRatKing
Vault Dweller
I played Fallout 2 without any patches. I was too young to even know what a patch was. I would guess I played Fallout 2 around 5 times before realizing there is a way to keep the car from disappearing.
aenemic
Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!
TheRatKing said:
yeah, I'm pretty sure I learned about patches through Fallout 2 as well.
as for retarded things... I guess I do a few every now and then, but the most retarded shit I do on a regular basis is to not pay bills in time. I've missed three bills over the last three months now and I think I might actually be in some deep shit for the first time.
Casey fucking Ryback
First time out of the vault
Well, As a kid I accidentally caught my shirt sleeve in a press drill (those mean fucking drilling machines). As you can guess it immediately pulled my hand to it, lucky for me I hit the stop button with my superhuman reflexes before it completely drilled through my left hand. But the drill had done some damage, there was a hole, about half an inch in diameter in my hand, the drill had torn the skin and flesh off the top of my hand, and you could see the tendons of my middle and ring finger and a big vein.
This looked pretty gory but at the moment I felt great relief, you can guess what would have happened if I hadn't stopped the machine in time, but instead I only needed 7 stitches and my hand was as good as new, has a nice looking scar though.
edit: I wouldn't say this was retarded since it was as accident though
This looked pretty gory but at the moment I felt great relief, you can guess what would have happened if I hadn't stopped the machine in time, but instead I only needed 7 stitches and my hand was as good as new, has a nice looking scar though.
edit: I wouldn't say this was retarded since it was as accident though
When I was like 6 years old, some wannabe snowboarders made an ice 'n snow kicker on the best downhill in the whole town. Well, of course I went there with a sled and jumped from the kicker. Since I was going so fast and the kicker was so big, I lost the control of the sled like 2 feet before the kicker. Then when I jumped, the sled fell down, but I kept on flying, landed on my neck and damn near snipped it. Took like 20 minutes before I could get up, so damn scared I was.
[*] I had finals for a college algebra class at 8 in the morning and decided that playing Vice City all night was more important than studying and sleeping.
[*] I was at a pal's house drinking when he thought it would be a good idea to invite girls when I was halfway between Shitfaced and imma'puke'n'stuff(the kind of drunk you only achieve after a fifth of cheap vodka and a two liter of coke on an empty stomach). Apparently I fucked up my sunglasses and started cutting my face with the metal frames because nobody would pay attention to me when I was talking to them about something very important and I thought that battle scars would make me more charismatic and distinguishable. Then I woke up outside my apartment door next to a puddle of puke and a fucked up glass cup, with a chunk of the glass embedded in the side of my hand. My guess is that it pissed me off and I brought down furious anger in the form of an ill-guided fist.
[*] I installed Resident Evil 4 on my computer, only to realize my graphics card is a generation too early to be supported(geforce fx5500) The game ran at a constant 3 FPS. The retarded thing? Beating it in that state. Pausing the game alone was quite a challenge due to needing to hit esc when a frame isn't loading. It took 3 hours a day for two weeks to beat it, but I did. After it was all said and done I threw the disk at the floor until it shattered, never to play it again(until I played it at said pal's house on gamecube)
[*] I was at a pal's house drinking when he thought it would be a good idea to invite girls when I was halfway between Shitfaced and imma'puke'n'stuff(the kind of drunk you only achieve after a fifth of cheap vodka and a two liter of coke on an empty stomach). Apparently I fucked up my sunglasses and started cutting my face with the metal frames because nobody would pay attention to me when I was talking to them about something very important and I thought that battle scars would make me more charismatic and distinguishable. Then I woke up outside my apartment door next to a puddle of puke and a fucked up glass cup, with a chunk of the glass embedded in the side of my hand. My guess is that it pissed me off and I brought down furious anger in the form of an ill-guided fist.
[*] I installed Resident Evil 4 on my computer, only to realize my graphics card is a generation too early to be supported(geforce fx5500) The game ran at a constant 3 FPS. The retarded thing? Beating it in that state. Pausing the game alone was quite a challenge due to needing to hit esc when a frame isn't loading. It took 3 hours a day for two weeks to beat it, but I did. After it was all said and done I threw the disk at the floor until it shattered, never to play it again(until I played it at said pal's house on gamecube)
how comes most people had "accidents" with electricity ?
Dude, how is that the most retarded thing you've ever done? *Everyone* does that at some point.Farmerk said:
Makenshi
Ahoy, ye salty dogs!
Most retarded? Dunno if it counts, but I said here once that "I should have shoved my beard", instead of "I should have shaved my beard
IIRC, Sander laughed like a madman (was it you, bro?)
IIRC, Sander laughed like a madman (was it you, bro?)
Because my passing the class was riding on my performance on the final. I still passed, but it was a stressful time of best guesses and tired retard mistakes like spending ten minutes working out a problem to find that either I was doing it wrong or the answer was painfully obvious. The save that I dedicated 60 hours of my study time to was erased in the Viewtiful Joe demo glitch, btw. Woohoo!Sander said:
You didn't even fail the class?Farmerk said:
Seriously, what the fuck.
Quick search reveals the laugher was Wooz.Makenshi said:
Member of Khans
Vault Dweller
I tried to commit myself to a relationship with a girl who had
1. a borderline personality disorder
2. twice my IQ.
Which I both knew in advance. I really need to learn to keep my dick out of important decisions.
In February, I used the ball mill of the soil analysis lab to grind a mixture of sucrose and miscellaneous oxidants. Dry. With steel balls.
Well, it exploded. Duh.
Suddenly I was standing in the middle of a shower of plastic shrapnell. My goggles pretty much saved my eyesight, one of the balls gave me a nasty bruise, and I spend an hour on my knees, trying to recover all balls from under the shelves with a broom.
Oh, and I nearly got fired over it.
EDIT: Also, Farmerk, I have to agree with Sander. We all did this.
1. a borderline personality disorder
2. twice my IQ.
Which I both knew in advance. I really need to learn to keep my dick out of important decisions.
In February, I used the ball mill of the soil analysis lab to grind a mixture of sucrose and miscellaneous oxidants. Dry. With steel balls.
Well, it exploded. Duh.
Suddenly I was standing in the middle of a shower of plastic shrapnell. My goggles pretty much saved my eyesight, one of the balls gave me a nasty bruise, and I spend an hour on my knees, trying to recover all balls from under the shelves with a broom.
Oh, and I nearly got fired over it.
EDIT: Also, Farmerk, I have to agree with Sander. We all did this.
Well then. Here I stand, thinking I was near a double epic fail(I had failed the class once before) and I am informed that others share my love of virtual awesomeness over staring bleary eyed at a dry crusty old book while trying to keep the caffeine twitch out of my vision. Perplexed be I.Member of Khans said:
I just did something even more retarded to make up for it though. I did a huge load of laundry in a cheap portable washing machine(the kind you attach to a kitchen sink) and left the house for an hour on a little walk to curb cabin fever. When I returned I discovered that I forgot to shove the drain hose down the kitchen sink drain, and it had spewed all it's liquid onto the cheap linoleum. I ran to the closet and emptied it onto the mess. It took three huge blankets, most of my clean clothes, and all of my dirty clothes to soak up all that water. Move the fridge, oven, and kitchen table like a madman, and avoided any long term damage. I count my lucky stars that I have no carpets and enough tables to keep electronics off the floor.