Generic Birthday thread (they ALL go in here)

The Dutch Ghost said:
This year I am becoming 35 years.
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You mean by some kind of mystical forces you've transcended matter and become an intangible concept such as time, and not only that, but a specific quantity of time? o.o

Jokes aside, I didn't realize you shared your birthday with the Great War, so that's kinda neat! =D Though to be perfectly honest, I'm really not one for birthday celebrations, so I can't say I'd wish you a happy birthday with any sort of enthusiasm or sincerity, even if I knew you. But since it's a special occasion to some, I won't snub it, so hope you had a good birthday (since it's a day later).
 
Meh Snapslav, I just enjoy telling someone about it as I don't have that much relatives to share it with anymore.
Not meant that I am fishing for compliments or anything.

Hmm, also, I had not realized I had written the sentence in such a way that it can also be interpreted like that.
I do wonder what it would be like if you would actually transform into the representation of a number. Instant immortality? Oblivion? Suddenly being everywhere were the number 35 is?
 
Same here: too late. I do hope you had a nice 35th birthday, though, with lots of alcohol, drugs and sex. If not, then maybe next year.

There is still so much I want to accomplish such as becoming better at drawing (yes Alec, I know that means that I should practice more) but it seems to progress at such a slow speed.
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I need to practice more myself ... :(

In any case: do not give up and keep dreaming.
 
So I visited Sir Ghost today, although I wish in hindsight that I'd made it more birthday-ish. I mean, I don't know how, but I was planning on singing "He's a jolly good fellow." :V

Anyway, I personally got quite a treat in being able to see his wonderfully nerdy collection. He's got models, games, comics, books, and all kinds of other wonderful things. But to me the most amazing thing were his Fallout collection, and, well, you can see it right here:

2014-10-24160817.jpg

When I grabbed this next one I actually said "I never thought I'd ever actually be able to hold this." Which made him laugh, heh.
I also kind of gasped when I saw his Fallout 1 and 2 boxes. :V

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Edit: http://vocaroo.com/i/s1KmYqb8K1bc
 
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Emperor said:
What you can get for a man that has it all?
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I'd sure would love a copy of South Park the Stick of Truth :P

I have been with the Fallout franchise and the revival of RPGs on the PC somewhere around the start in the 90s (and of course other games we now consider classics) so it is always double nostalgia for me when I think back to that period.

Akratus' reaction to actually hold a copy of Planescape Torment was so amusing as it gave me the impression he had just found the holy grail or something.
It is probably one of the few fantasy RPGs I can truly stand as I really liked the setting and the way the game played. Truth be told when I played Baldur's Gate after it (I think) I was a little surprised that it wasn't of the same caliber.
I honestly thought Fallout and Planescape Torment was the standard when it came to PC RPGs

Deus Ex I confess I did not play until I bought a budget re release to play when my computer was not powerful enough to run any newer games in 2004.
I honestly missed out on it and feel foolish for ignoring it for so long, I guess it just felt very complex to me that I couldn't figure out in my mind how something like that would work. (plus I admit that there were some annoying elements in System Shock 2 which I feared would be back in DE such as the endless gun maintenance)
 
Hello all,

It is my birthday today. It is always a bit of a strange coincidence that it happens to be on the same day on which the fictional (let us hope it stays that way) great war happened that basically wiped out all the civilizations of the old world, and left a sick and dying world in which the survivors seek to eke out a meagre existence and try to build a new civilization.

For me it doesn't mean much today as there are not really many people to celebrate it with me today. One of my remaining aunts sent me a card, a friend of mine contacted me to congratulate me as did several people online (thanks for the copy of Underrail Akratus), and I am sure to hear from my brother and perhaps even my sister. (contact with her family is never high on her list)
But my parents or the aunt I knew the best are not there any more, nor is there a girlfriend or a wife (I never started a relationship, not that I am not interested but I simply felt and still feel I am not ready for such a commitment), which really reinforces that I am alone.
So at some point you start to wonder why one still celebrates such day in the year.

As what I would wish for my birthday, well there are my usual wishes but I have those every day so this day is no exception, but this year I have something new to add to the list; great knowledge and wisdom.
I have had a couple of very bad weeks before this day, suffering from severe depression because of various reasons (work integration period not going as it should have, the feeling that I have less chance to have any kind of decent future, dreams and hopes failing) that at some moment made me really question my own existence, the point of life, and what death will be.
I can honest say that those were some of the worst days in my life, constantly having these questions and fears coming back to the front of my mind.

(I am seeing a psychologist but my next appointment won't be until November)

Truth be told, the future seems to become more and more and incredible mess due to human short-sightedness, wilful ignorance, and greed when I watch the news or read news articles so I do wonder sometimes if it is really is something I want to live long enough to see. (I doubt I am ever going to see some meaningful changes during my life or science fiction fantasies such as a human exodus to the stars and planets, more likely it is going to become all like Mad Max with the way things are going now)

Great knowledge and wisdom might not take away those fears or feelings of negativity but perhaps make it easier to cope with them. I feel rather stupid sometimes these days, not able to come up with anything profound or an idea I just find plain enjoyable and clever.
To be able to grasp and understand a lot more would take away a lot of anxiety (such as my worries about mathematics class which already got me down when I had to request a transfer to a lower degree course, and the concerns I have about my limited English and ability not being able to express myself well in that language)
Most important of all, I feel I would be able to carve at least a better future for myself, one I actually want.

Other than this, just some god damn drawing talent! After seven years of drawing class I would like some progress dammit!

Hmmm, is there anything I want physically? No idea really.
Sure there are things on my wish list on Ebay and Steam but a lot of them are more for when I myself have money to purchase them.
Uhhhmmm... a copy of Fallout 4 so I can see what the fuss is about and really have some actually experience of the game which I can berate Bethesda on about?

Hope to get some responses from you guys
 
Hey, and happy birthday! Just don't bow down to depression, and yeah the worlds fucked up but don't think about it! Who knows, maybe things will get better!

Again happy birthday, and it's nice you took the time.
 
HB

Depression is pretty shit, but it will not leave until you start rerouting your thinking patterns. The more % of your thinking is spend on some bad thought loop, the worse everything seems to be, it is very hard, but you have to push yourself to spend that % of bad thoughts on forcing good thoughts, or meditating and not thinking about anything.

I'm not sure if my last pm made it to you (did it?), so i will not reiterate it, but will leave this for some inspiration:

 
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Happy birthday! Lonelyness can be a drag, but imagine what it would be like without the internet :0

Those moments where one wonder what more life is, than being just another walking plant, thinking ant, "virus with shoes", I allow it to sting me only momentarily, but those moments can get even adrenaline rushes out of me if they get too deep.
In the end, I sit down and draw something. I really need to get better, I spent almost 10 years not drawing anything, and it's one of the few things I regret in life - neglecting one of my biggest interests to such a degree. Learn about things, fill that brain up with content. "The meaning of life" is nothing but what you make it, which is a bigger freedom than many realize.
 
Hello people,

Thank you for all your reactions.

I do hope this depression can be treated and will eventually pass. There are moments like now in which it barely affects me, but there are also severe periods in which I just can't keep track of all thoughts going through my mind, as well as tons of fears and doubts.
A couple of times I have even been worried that I had some kind of tumor when my head felt so strange and I was barely able to think straight.



AskWazzup said:
HB

Depression is pretty shit, but it will not leave until you start rerouting your thinking patterns. The more % of your thinking is spend on some bad thought loop, the worse everything seems to be, it is very hard, but you have to push yourself to spend that % of bad thoughts on forcing good thoughts, or meditating and not thinking about anything.

I'm not sure if my last pm made it to you (did it?), so i will not reiterate it, but will leave this for some inspiration:
Click to expand...

Sorry AskWazzup but I did not get your PM, guess it got swallowed by the internet.

I suffered from the thinking period you described and I can honestly describe it as 'hellish', think of a deep pit or black hole you have fallen into, and the more you try to get out of it the more it reinforces its existence and the feeling that you can not escape it.
Fortunately I am mostly over it now but I really could have done without that experience.


zegh8578 said:
Happy birthday! Lonelyness can be a drag, but imagine what it would be like without the internet :0

Those moments where one wonder what more life is, than being just another walking plant, thinking ant, "virus with shoes", I allow it to sting me only momentarily, but those moments can get even adrenaline rushes out of me if they get too deep.
In the end, I sit down and draw something. I really need to get better, I spent almost 10 years not drawing anything, and it's one of the few things I regret in life - neglecting one of my biggest interests to such a degree. Learn about things, fill that brain up with content. "The meaning of life" is nothing but what you make it, which is a bigger freedom than many realize.
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Yeah I am glad I have the internet but it would also be nice to have some people close to you in real life.
I unfortunately can not visit the people I am talking to online, even the fellow Dutch I know live quite some distance away from me. I can't just hop on my bike and pay them a visit.

Sadly in this stupid corner of the country there is little opportunity to meet up with people that have similar interests such as retro gaming and collecting.
Most of that takes place in the central regions of the country.



Ah another aspiring artist who longs to turn ideas into actual creations on paper (that actually look like the ideas), I definitely know that pain.
I so damn much want to be an artist (and a writer, and a game designer) and draw my ideas in order to feel that I have done something worth showing to another that I have reached the point that I am willing to kill people if it would give me decent skills (all I need to know if it has to look like an accident or if it doesn't matter)

I don't seek to create for fame or fortune, I just want to create something that I think looks good.

Behold, my crappy-dappy doodles;


http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/yy199/thedutchghost/004_zpsacc8dc2e.jpg
http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/yy199/thedutchghost/003_zpsfc0lxopv.jpg
http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/yy199/thedutchghost/009_zpssghcg1pa.jpg
http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/yy199/thedutchghost/010_zpsvb1i5ktu.jpg
 
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