Did I mention I was in a hurry to decide, because I procrastinate?
For those of you who don't have the time to read all I write or find my explanations unnecessary just read this spoiler.
[spoiler:22f00fba22]I don't think I should enlist since in the time it's taken me to meet the appropriate weight (I'm currently just over 200 pounds) I've went from having decent feet to having daily pain.
Besides I decided in the time it would take to lose the weight I'd have plenty of time to go from undecided to yes/no and still I haven't convinced myself either way. Since this is a "decision not to be made lightly" I shouldn't say yes unless absolutely sure and I don't seem to have the balls to make myself.
By the way I'll make a days pay worth of money donated to a military charity for all the time/effort you've all spent trying to help me decide. I figure all the people in this thread together have probably spent a total of eight hours reading this thread and writing responses for my sake.
I've tried and failed in multiple relationship endeavors. I've looked up some of the women I had to reject in the past, wooed one over the course of many months, attempted internet dating on two sites for a long time being very active, and decided to start talking back to some of the women at work. Nothings working, but also I've run into money problems as I had to give $1,000 (my whole savings account) to a family member with medical problems which will take me a whole year to restore at $100 a month.
I will keep trying. It's not like I mind being single or am impatient anyway.[/spoiler:22f00fba22]
So I gave up soda which although I only had one a day I had them every day (-150 calories a day). I also gave up any candy/ice cream/etc. which I had only occasionally, but in large amounts (about -150 calories a day). I had also increased exercising from one hour three times a week to an hour and fifteen minutes. I made the extra exercise cardiovascular specifically jumping jacks which are pretty energetic.
In the three months since then I started having slight pain in my feet after full days at work (eight hours). Then I started getting them even after six hours. Now I have it almost everyday being worse the longer the shift. Also worse if I exercised that day.
It doesn't last the whole day and isn't a strong pain, but I can imagine if standing up eight hours (at work) and then doing one hour of exercise does this then probably eight hours (or more) of marching while carrying a 50 pound pack would cause serious problems. I'd probably break a foot after attempting something athletic. I'm also confident this pain is from minor stress fractures since it fits all the symptoms of being light, but constant, having appeared and worsened progressively, and being a pain that doesn't matter how active you are with the problem area.
I have to admit too the more I heard about the experience the more I thought I didn't have the machismo to do what's necessary for military work. I had convinced myself it was something "learned" before I thought to ask, but I doubt that's true now.
As for women...
One of the women I had known all these years that originally had feelings for me I tried being friendly with for months before I started this thread and I intensified it to see where things would go. She didn't just refuse, but became embarrassed of me and would prefer to be left alone.
I became a member of two internet dating sites one free and with a huge user base and one cost $10 a month, but had very specific clientele. After four months almost no one had "messaged" me and those that did were too shy to talk back or were way to far away and not much desirable. Those I messaged almost never responded or said no. A few would show interest then stop suddenly and never want to chat again. I suspect this is just "shyness" and once things get more solid they can't confidently go further. I hope.
I should look in college where I had the best opportunities in the past. In fact I think my best bet is to go back to college where I got a lot of attention from women, but unlike work we have a lot in common (same study interests) and have plenty of time to get to know one another from class (which is less hectic than work).
Fortunately it will be easy to go back to college since I STILL CAN'T FIND WORK WITH MY DEGREE IN TWO YEARS! I'll be going for a Chemistry degree this time since I've noticed (each time I search) there's a lot more opportunities for that science than Biology. Unfortunately I will need at least two years to pay off my small student loan (keep in mind I'm going to great effort to work more and spend less) and also one year to save to go back for another year of schooling.
I do now make almost $10 an hour at my current job due to accumulated yearly raises. I've been there almost eight years now.
There is a glimmer of hope though. Wooz (a very old and venerable member of NMA) told me that there are women who are in the same position I am in which is too say they shouldn't care about my problems anymore than I would care about there's. I suppose I am too hard on myself.
,
The Vault Dweller