The Dutch Ghost

The Dutch Ghost

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Grouchy old man of NMA 44 From Leeuwarden, The Netherlands
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  • The Dutch Ghost
    Sometimes late at night, especially in the weekends I truly feel that my life is worthless because I have accomplished nothing.
    View previous comments…
    william dempsey
    william dempsey
    I can see your OCD now Tonto. You now show as first to come to the aid of person in crisis.
    T
    TorontoReign
    I have had a lot of experience with mental illness so I like to help if I can plus DG is a good friend. That being said I would probably say the same to anybody that just said that because I understand the feeling and eventually got over it.
    T
    TorontoReign
    Hey anyway why is it the weekend that draws this out of you? You feel like you should be out at the bar or something? You wanna go mingle? Or do all those people out walking make you feel alone? It's never too late to make new friends man.
    The Dutch Ghost
    I learned a lesson today; never get into a discussion with a vegetarian about what makes a species monstrous for eating other beings.
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    T
    TorontoReign
    I got into a discussion with a non animal owner that thought it was cruel I have to cut my cats balls off because he is pissing, meowing, attacking everything due to being horny. People are idiots and ignorant more likely than not.
    Richwizard
    Richwizard
    Do some research to educate yourself about plant intelligence. Then have a conversation with a vegan.
    zegh8578
    zegh8578
    Hey vegan, what's it mean when all the veggies are fresh? :o
    The Dutch Ghost
    I saw a cute little bird sitting on the seat of my bike today. Then I saw that the little sob had crapped on the seat.
    T
    TorontoReign
    They usually shit where they sit when near the ground.
    The Dutch Ghost
    I have had a temper problem with gaming when it becomes hard. But recently I was genuinely angry because of difficulty or puzzles.
    View previous comments…
    eissa
    eissa
    @The Dutch Ghost Well...i mean gaming burnout is popular term about when you being gamer for like 5 years and so but gaming become rather stale. Then you just being totally not impressed with anything, like almost to the point of chore. Just google it, lots of people already making statement about it and the solution apparently.
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    Maybe Toront. I actually could still pull off BCR2 as I wrote in the gaming thread, and I managed to pull of Dread after a while so they aren't completely gone.
    But it is not what it used to be. I am for example average to terrible now at Sonic games
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    @eissa, I have yet to look up what gaming burnout is, but I had a quick glimpse and I definitely recognized a symptom; sitting behind a game but not enjoying and feeling that you should be doing something else instead.
    Will get back to you once I have read some more about it.
    The Dutch Ghost
    Fun detail I found out about one of my cats; she likes to play fetch with a toy mice.
    • Like
    Reactions: Risewild and zegh8578
    zegh8578
    zegh8578
    Anyone who says cats are inactive or not social or any such have never truly interacted with a cat. I could teach my cat nifty tricks by demonstrating them to her *once* - but ONLY if she had a pre-existing interest in the subject. Cats will soak up information *like that*
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    I would love to teach her and Fizz more tricks but I don't know how to start with it, and I have a tendency to quickly loose focus myself.
    T
    TorontoReign
    Some cats like playing like that. My cat plays with live mice and makes them dead due to me training him by throwing those at him. Also the string mouse toys where you dangle it.
    The_Proletarian
    Hi! Could you create an Ashes thread in General Gaming that covers the entire series with correct links to download pages and other relevant sources of information?
    • Like
    Reactions: TorontoReign
    View previous comments…
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    I opened an Ashes thread but I feel that my English was a bit lacking when I wrote it.
    Perhaps I may need to rewrite some parts later.
    The_Proletarian
    The_Proletarian
    Yeah that happens to me all the time. Sometimes I just feel my English is shit. Words don't mean what I think they do, I don't know the grammar, I'm just guessing based on what sounds right.

    Even though most of what I read is in English I will never be good when it comes to writing.

    However I thought your new thread was excellent!
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    That is also how I sometimes feel, especially when my head feels overwhelmed with various thoughts and feelings.
    At some point I would just like to scream "Shut up! I need to think on something that is important to me, I don't need confusion right now."

    I would like to become better at English writing, or Dutch for that matter, but I can't afford classes.
    The Dutch Ghost
    Need some advice guys. I would like to get a Switch to play Metroid Dread. But if the Switch 2 is announced next year it feels like a waste.
    View previous comments…
    ironmask
    ironmask
    Not saying you should pirate it of course.
    T
    TorontoReign
    I think you should.
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    It is not very honest but I have indeed also considered that.
    And I did try out an emulator version but my current rig doesn't want to cooperate.
    The Dutch Ghost
    Yesterday must have been TDG torture day, because everything that could go wrong, went wrong.
    View previous comments…
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    And earlier this week I also ruined a cooking pan while warming up beans.
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    I am reminded of an old sitcom gag, based on a beer commercial slogan.
    "Then you know its Miller time."
    Will if I drunk alcohol I sure could have gone for a drink.
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    It felt almost fucking planned.
    If some TV show host came out of a van when I came back from the police and told me I was on some comedy gag show, I would have strangled him on the spot.
    The Dutch Ghost
    Last Saturday was my birthday. I had wanted to post a message in the birthday topic but I don't think it has been updated since my last post
    The Dutch Ghost
    I picked up a copy of Metroid Dread yesterday. At least I can say now that I have it, but I really don't feel like playing it any time soon.
    View previous comments…
    T
    TorontoReign
    Because of your depression. Are you on anti depressants?
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    Oh, I never responded.
    Yeah, I am on this new medicine for several weeks now, but I have not taking it in steadily.
    T
    TorontoReign
    Then it won't work.
    The Dutch Ghost
    Crap, I had a bit of a fever last week, and yesterday I had a runny noose and had to sneeze a lot. Have to cancel an appointment for a test.
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    And this also costs me twenty-five euros which for me is not an expense I try to make daily.
    Hardboiled Android
    Hardboiled Android
    COVID you think?
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    Nah, I expect it is a cold. Always have been susceptible to those during fall.
    Haven't really had a serious bout of flu since my teens.
    Results are in; negative.
    The Dutch Ghost
    Felt depressed again because of frustration that I can not draw like my favorite artists, even the one I now hate and wish suffering to.
    View previous comments…
    T
    TorontoReign
    It's not foolish to hope for the future because it takes that mindset to make good things happen. Be realistic and set small goals for yourself. Take care of yourself and take a shower every day it helps.
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    God dammit. I have some of those days again that nothing seems to want to work in my head, including writing PMs.
    And when I see articles about people I look up to who have achieved a lot, I feel so overwhelmed by despair.
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    I could have done much today, but instead because I felt 'tired' again I spend most of the time just lounging behind my stupid computer doing didly squat instead of practicing Python.
    The Dutch Ghost
    Welp, I cut myself again yesterday, for my damn flawed body failing me as it always does. I would like this to be the last year.
    View previous comments…
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    I have been trying for days now to give you a proper response, but nothing wants to come up in my damn mind.
    That is one of the reasons why I am so pissed at myself; that my mind is always so incredibly slow and lacking.
    But I cut myself because I hate myself.
    Alphons
    Alphons
    But you wouldn't be such an enjoyable poster to read if that was true. Hope you get someone professional to talk to and get better.
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    It has been a week now since I last cut myself, I think.
    But not because I feel better. More because the depression seems to be in respite.
    But it will be back again, that is guaranteed.
    The Dutch Ghost
    I have been beating myself and cutting myself these last several weeks, including yesterday and today for so being stupid and incompetent.
    View previous comments…
    ironmask
    ironmask
    Please seek medical help. I had a brother go through this and I hate to see someone else go through this too, even if the person's a stranger.
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    I have talked with a doctor about my problems, and I have sought contact with a therapist. But therapy won't start for several more months because of a waiting list.
    But I feel that it is absolutely pointless as I become older and it becomes clear things will not be better.
    Hardboiled Android
    Hardboiled Android
    It gladdens me more than you can know to know that you're seeking help, Ghost. Hang in there, really sucks about the waiting time.
    The Dutch Ghost
    Feeling tense and overwhelmed with despair after a nap I couldn't prevent because of yesterday. Feel like I am in fight or flight mode.
    Morgan_
    Morgan_
    Go for a good jog. Eat better and stay on schedule. Don't allow yourself to get swept up in it too often. Hang out with friends of find a book or show you like.
    The Dutch Ghost
    And I successfully wasted another complete day. It is a fucking talent, the one thing I am good at.
    T
    TorontoReign
    Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.
    Hardboiled Android
    Hardboiled Android
    something that always helps me is to set small, very short-term goals which aren't super hard to get to but aren't a big deal if you don't: wake up at such-and-such a time, have two or three little things to get done, be in bed by a reasonable hour
    T
    TorontoReign
    Make sure the goal is something you won't fuck up though or you reinforce that failure mindset. Stop doing that by the way. Since I have known you you do nothing but put yourself down.
    The Dutch Ghost
    I had to have my cat put to sleep after she has been sick for weeks. In a sense she was already gone, but it was still a hard decision.
    View previous comments…
    Hardboiled Android
    Hardboiled Android
    What matters is that you gave her a good life for as long as you could here
    Alphons
    Alphons
    I personally believe in an afterlife, but even if there's nothing after death I'm sure she left this world happy, knowing that you care about her.
    The Dutch Ghost
    The Dutch Ghost
    Right now I just miss her so much. As she was no longer able to jump any more she no longer slept at the end of my bed, greeting me when I woke up.
    And now I don't find her on the back of the couch, windowsill, or under a table any more.
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